Hot Bodies

Ariana Grande Loves ‘Big Black Balls’

By: The Superficial / December 9, 2014
While performing during the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, America's favorite eighth grader Ariana Grande apparently told Ed Sheeran that she enjoys bouncy balls which he turned into a perverted joke about giant black testicles because the British are always trying to make scrotum jokes involving children. I've watched your… More »

Karrueche Tran In A Bikini

By: The Superficial / December 9, 2014
The last post was some god awful shit, so here's the inspiring tale of Karrueche Tran, a young girl who basically stuck her head in a lion's mouth to get famous and somehow survived long enough to pose for bikini photos as soon they broke up to… More »

Good Morning, Ela Rose, And Other News

By: Photo Boy / December 9, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy - Scarlett Johansson freestyle rapped at Vice's Hipster Pilgrimage. [Lainey Gossip] - Chris Pratt will soak all the Internet panties now. [Fishwrapper] - Taylor Lautner went to a gay bar. [Dlisted] - Tugging on your clothes is an automatic pass to the nice list. [… More »

Are Children’s Christmas Pageants Supposed To Be Sexy? This Seems Wrong

By: The Superficial / December 8, 2014
Is Stephen Collins the musical director? What the hell's happening here? THE SUPERFICIAL | About • Facebook • Twitter Photos: Getty, Splash New… More »

Taylor Swift Made Out With Karlie Kloss ‘Allegedly’

By: The Superficial / December 8, 2014
While I was too busy covering real stories like how Hilary Duff's body's going to be found in a wedding gown beneath Aaron Carter's shed, the Internet was losing its shit over a photo of Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss making out (below) even though they basically got married… More »

Kendall Jenner Getting Spanked By Santa, Anyone?

By: The Superficial / December 8, 2014
Kim and Kourtney knocked out their naked shit for the year, so here's Kendall in lingerie getting spanked by Santa because Kris Jenner wants to finally finish off Bruce this Christmas. Except the joke's on her, he replaced hi… More »

Miley Cyrus Made Out With Paris Hilton

By: The Superficial / December 8, 2014
Miley Cyrus is always looking for some stupid, new edgy shit to do, and what's more stupid and edgy than sticking your tongue in a petri dish of death and disease? Which is probably the nicest thing I'll ever say about Paris Hilton's mouth. The holidays just bring it out of… More »

Chris Brown Is Sorry He Called His Girlfriend A Cheating Whore

By: The Superficial / December 8, 2014
Chris Brown and Karrueche Tran apparently broke up over the weekend, so naturally Chris Brown reacted in a healthy, constructive manner (compared to what he did to Rihanna's face) by calling her a cheating whore on Instagram and telling everybody they had threesomes together. Via ONTD: We've… More »

Good Morning, Kayla Swift, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 8, 2014
- Coldplay might finally be over. [Lainey Gossip] - Hey, Eddie Cibrian needs that money to buy laxatives. [Fishwrapper] - Kendra Wilkinson made $500,000 in six months from stripping. [Dlisted] - Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE] - The Hunger Games porn parody is here. [… More »

Kat Torres In A Bikini Is The Crap I Missed

By: The Superficial / December 5, 2014
Alright, folks, provided Photo Boy's severed head isn't strapped to a tortoise with a bomb in it, The Crap We Missed will return Monday where you can fill it full of your brain shits for The Most Important People on The Internet because doing work at your desk i… More »

Usher Charged His Phone With A Woman’s Vagina

By: The Superficial / December 5, 2014
Here's Usher at Art Basel the other night where he charged his phone with a woman's vagina because apparently that's another thing they can do that I had no idea about. (Is it true women can pee out of them, too? You know what? Don't tell me. I want it to… More »

Dear Hilary Duff: AARON CARTER’S GONNA KEEL YOU, GIRL, RUN!!

By: The Superficial / December 5, 2014
Aaron Carter already made shit creepy enough by expressing his undying love for Hilary Duff on Twitter which he did back off on after she told Buzzfeed that it's weirding her out. Except here he is with a new Instagram pic of himself watching a… More »

Krysten Ritter Is Your New Marvel Person

By: The Superficial / December 5, 2014
After confirming Benedict Cumberbatch as Doctor Strange, Marvel announced that Krysten Ritter landed the title role of Jessica Jones for its upcoming Netflix series. I should probably mention Alexandra Daddario was also up the part, but mostly so I can link to her nude scene… More »

Whitney Port’s Still Wearing Bikinis And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 5, 2014
- Gwyneth Paltrow saved Meryl Streep's Thanksgiving. Take that, Martha Stewart! [Lainey Gossip] - Kendall Jenner's posting selfies of her panties now. [Fishwrapper] - LeAnn Rimes pulled some Madonna shit at the Rockefeller tree lighting. [Dlisted] - A Satantic Temple holiday display in Florida? Let's see how quickly that… More »

Ela Rose In A Bikini Is The Crap I Missed

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2014
Here's Ela Rose who you'll notice is not a treatise on racism or justified outrage at police brutality, but instead an attractive woman with giant breasts. And while we're talking about breasts, let's set the record straight on 138 Water: I'm in no way paid to post their pics. More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Crotch Will Sell You Clothes Now

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2014
If there's one constant that stops Lindsay Lohan from swallowing a bunch of pills and not waking up in the morning, it's that Earth drugs can't kill her now. But if there's another constant, it's that some idiot somewhere is waiting to hand her money for some stupid project that will… More »

Miley Cyrus Wore A Dang Ol’ Boobie T-Shirt

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2014
It's becoming more and more evident that the police can murder minorities with impunity, but are any of those people wearing boobie T-shirts? No. No, they are not. So here's Miley Cyrus wearing a T-shirt with naked breasts on it which is probably the most important piece of informatio… More »

Jenna Chapple Is Subtle And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2014
- Amber Heard is putting Johnny Depp's scarves on the curb soon. [Lainey Gossip] - Annie Lennox basically calls Madonna an attention whore. [Fishwrapper] - Godammit, there's another Duggar coming. Somebody get a scientist pregnant. Quick, quickly now! [Dlisted] - Redheads, We Need You Now More Than Ever [… More »

Michelle Lewin’s Bikini Butt Is The Crap I Missed

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2014
Somehow I survived The 2014 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show without Photo Boy, so now's the part where you leave me the fuck alone and stare deeply into Michelle Lewin's butt until I make with a new 138 Water chick in the morning even though she won't handle a candle to… More »

Kourtney Kardashian’s Doing Naked Stuff Now

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2014
Kourtney Kardashian might be 18 months pregnant, but Kim posed naked last month, and now it's her turn because Kris Jenner's bitches get dem asses out there and work that Internet corner and she don't want to hear nothin' about it. So here's Kourtney posing nude for… More »

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