Hot Bodies

Someone Invited Jessica Simpson To ‘The Hunger Games’ Premiere

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2014
The Hunger Games is about a dystopian future where the rich eat all of the food leaving the poor to starve unless they shoot each other in the dicks with bows and arrows. Those words also describe every Tuesday night at the Chili's near Jessica Simpson's house. Are you seeing the … More »

Bella Thorne In A Bikini

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2014
A while ago, I had to deal with an annoying situation involving Bella Thorne that really should've persuaded me from doing things like giving her free publicity by posting paparazzi photos of her on the site. But then she wore a bikini in Miami yesterday, and I don't need to tell … More »

Tila Tequila Is A Mother, This Is Our World Now

By: Photo Boy / November 18, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy Since we're now almost exclusively in the business of reporting awful shit happening to children, here's the announcement that Tila Tequila replicated, which is the only word I'll used to describe her somehow making another life form. Via Us Weekly: "I just want my baby to … More »

Good Morning, Alexandra Eriksson, And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2014
- There are Benedict Cumberbatch engagement truthers now? Goddammit, Internet... [Lainey Gossip] - June Shannon is in Dumb and Dumber To. Yup. [Fishwrapper] - There's a Christian version of Fifty Shades of Grey. Of course. [Dlisted] - Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE] - Victoria's Silvstedt's … More »

The 2014 GOOP Gift Guide Is Quintessential GOOP

By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014
We're beginning our initial descent into the maw of the holiday beast where we'll be slowly digested over the course of the next six weeks. So to speed up that process, here's the 2014 GOOP Gift Guide which promises to try and stay under $100, yet immediately starts with a $285 … More »


By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014
As advertised in the classiest headline of your life, here are Angelina Jolie's breasts at the Hollywood Film Awards where, granted, they're not a naked, Photoshopped FUPA - I'm sorry, squelchy pudendum. - I know for a fact they still have enough Internet juice in them to break something. More »

Emily Ratajkowski’s Breasts Deserve A Post

By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014
I almost just tossed these pics of Emily Ratajkowski's breasts at the Hollywood Film Awards into the drunk Johnny Depp post and said something like, "Haha, wouldn't it have been better posted if I talked about these, you guys?" But then I realized her breasts are people, too, and … More »

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley In A Bikini And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014
- Fifty Shades of Grey has a new trailer. Where's the pube-pulling?! [Lainey Gossip] - It's the vagina cake from Snooki's baby shower. You read that right. [Fishwrapper] - Evan Rachel Wood is done being a lesbian already. [Dlisted] - If You Like Tattoos Get In Here [ … More »

Science Beat Kim Kardashian’s Ass

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2014
On Wednesday, Kim Kardashian's naked ass and vulva seemed to have consumed everything in its path. I hate to admit this, but I literally had no clue the Philae lander landed on a comet, that's how far my head was up her butt. Did you see how oily it … More »

Kate Upton’s Breasts Shill Free-To-Play Games Now

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2014
Last week's South Park episode amazingly shit all over freemium games as it should. Except here are Kate Upton's bouncing breasts telling me to play one which I'm probably going to do because the sole purpose of a penis is to bankrupt and ultimately kill whoever it's attached to. More »

Michelle Lewin Has A Butt, Too, And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2014
- Mila Kunis does not have post-partum depression. Don't be assholes. [Lainey Gossip] - Why does Jennifer Aniston have one satin-wrapped tit out? [Dlisted] - Congratulations, Kylie Jenner, you look like the oldest Kardashian now. [Fishwrapper] - Kim Kardashian's ass is a Keurig now. [theCHIVE] - Taylor … More »

Jennifer Lawrence Can’t Take More Naked Pictures If You Kill Her, People

By: The Superficial / November 13, 2014
Here's Jennifer Lawrence outside The Late Show with David Letterman where later that night, she'd walk over to sign some fan's autographs only to have them kick down a metal barrier, sending her fleeing to her car. And if you think I'm going to try and pin this on … More »

Katy Perry’s Boyfriend Wants To Crowdfund A Booty Onto Taylor Swift

By: The Superficial / November 13, 2014
Despite promising myself an ass hiatus after yesterday's 2014 Buttella Festival, I still have precious SEO to milk into my mouth, so here's Katy Perry's boyfriend publicly insulting the spot where Taylor Swift's butt should be: Get Taylor Swift A Booty— BABY DADDY (@diplo) November 12, … More »

Good Morning, Colleen Shannon, And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 13, 2014
- Maybe Joaquin Phoenix could've handled being in the Marvel machine. [Lainey Gossip] - Leonardo DiCaprio's birthday party was 80% models. Of course. [Dlisted] - Niecy Nash knows the secret to a happy marriage and it's blowjays. Constant blowjays. [Fishwrapper] - Why Would You Ever Get Out of Bed? … More »

Kim Kardashian’s Vagina Is Naked Now

By: The Superficial / November 12, 2014
Apparently her naked ass wasn't enough to #BreakTheInternet, so here's Kim Kardashian going full frontal for Paper where I'm guess they're hoping her FUPA will get the job done even though we already saw Kate Upton's and with a baseball player's semen on … More »

Kim Kardashian Is Showing Off Her Ass Before She Gets Pregnant Again

By: The Superficial / November 12, 2014
So remember the beginning of Raiders of The Lost Ark when Indiana Jones is running away from the giant boulder? Picture my day exactly like that except Indy just turns around and goes, "Aw, fuck it." TMZ reports: Kim Kardashian shot the instantly iconic ass photo because it's her last stand before … More »

Chelsea Handler’s Butt Is Naked Now

By: The Superficial / November 12, 2014
Despite claiming to quit Instagram not even two weeks ago after her naked breasts were pulled down three times (Not a milking joke.), Chelsea Handler is back already. Only this time with her naked butt which she thinks is somehow mocking Kim Kardashian's even though … More »

Khloe Kardashian Tried To Steal Kim’s Ass Thunder

By: The Superficial / November 12, 2014
Just hours before Kim Kardashian's naked butt was scheduled to be dragged across the Internet like a dog with worms tainting everything in its path (Case in point: There's another post about it coming up later today.), Khloe shared the above meme on Instagram because you know what the Internet hardly … More »

Jenny McCarthy & Donnie Wahlberg Got Their Own Reality Show

By: Photo Boy / November 12, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy Because the world is a giant stockpot of diarrhea and reality television is the spoon that stirs it, it's only right that Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg get to make their own deposit. When reached for comment, the couple dropped this verbal nugget and yes I'm … More »

Kim Kardashian’s Butt Is Naked

By: The Superficial / November 12, 2014
So I'm going to talk sexually about Kim Kardashian's naked ass for a minute because I'm pretty sure it's not on the cover of Paper to spark a discussion on common core. In fact, legend has it, there are words written beneath her ass that say it's here to "break the … More »

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