Crap We Missed - Page 9

No, Michael Phelps Is Not Going To Beat A Great White Shark In A Race

Michael Phelps can max out at about 5 mph… a great white shark can swim 25mph while sending a text message to its other shark friends about the food porn they’re about to make. More »


Kim Kardashian Went to Dinner Without A Shirt Because It’s Hot Out

Kim K. sticks it to those snobby jacket-required restaurant policies by literally only wearing a jacket. She’s so punk rock, you guys srslyyy… More »


Leo Dicaprio (Lord Hog Body) Grossed Out Some Young Models

Leo was overheard boasting to some models about how he “doesn’t have to work out” to maintain his 42-year-old hog body. *The goal of this post is to petition that we all start adopting the word “hog body” to replace dad bod.* More »


Miles Teller’s Girlfriend Brought Her Boobs to A Beach and Other News

Whats the over/under on whether or not Miles Teller used girlfriend Keleigh Sperry’s chest to practice drums in preparation for Whiplash? More »


Paris Jackson Has Pierced Nipples If That Does Anything For You

Paris Jackson is learning from the best on how to be a successful model in Hollywood after adopting this whole “get your picture taken braless as much as possible” strategy to boost exposure. More »


Drunk Shia LaBeouf Was Arrested Again Last Weekend

Apparently Shia lost his shit after some bystanders didn’t have a spare “bogie” to bum. Lesson learned: If Shia asks you for a cigarette after midnight, he’s about to turn into a booze gremlin. More »


Elle Evans Doing Bikini Things With Matt Bellamy on A Giant Yacht

Props to Elle Evans for being able to take off with her rockstar boyfriend and go jetskiing in St. Tropez while I cool off in this backyard baby pool of content. *Cracks a Fresca*

“Cut the water off, Frank- she’s overflowing!” More »


Blac Chyna Dyed Her Hair Unicorn to Really Stick It to Rob, Guys

She’s pulling a Gandalf and changing color after she fell down that Instagram hole with a fire-breathing Rob “Blob” Kardashian. More »


Who Gave Lena Dunham A Dog In The First Place?

Spoiler alert: It was the dog/shelter’s fault she couldn’t keep it because eeevverryybodyy hates poor Lena! More »


Frankie Gaff Doing Bikini Things

Here we have Frankie Gaff from Made in Chelsea, which I guess is like the U.K. version of Real World but everyone is rich and snotty? Sounds very… original. More »


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