“Kardashian, your feeble skills are no match for the power of the Brown Side.”

Press corps: “Who are you wearing Christina?”

“The Chateau Marmont. The drapes from my room specifically. Kirstie Alley says purple and white is very slimming.”

Come on people, I can’t be the only one that knew she would eventually morph into Aretha Franklin

I think I know what those tats on her arm say, it’s either “Left Hemisphere, Right Hemisphere” or “WARNING When putting on dress watch for gravity wells and small orbiting planets!” I’m betting the latter.

Worst angle ever.

Wow

On Dec. 21st, if your bomb shelter fails, have no fear. You can always take up shelter underneath Christina’s lower back fat.

asstastic