1. “At one point I was so fat my boobs were out to here.”

  2. And I was like, “No, President Clinton! I appreciate you want to save me millions by supporting the extension of Bush era tax cuts, but you can not touch my tits!”

    …..I kid, you can totally touch my tits.

  3. I would gladly offer my services as a master debator over Christina’s global achievements.

  4. Happy_Evil_Dude

    And now I will demonstrate how I like my tits to be fondled…

  5. Bionic_Crouton

    ” …and it was like…y’know? and everyone was all…Really? and I said ‘ Hey! What- ever bitch!…”
    (This ‘story’ went on for thirty minutes)

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