Man, I gotta start writing ballads. I actually got one started:
Baby, baby, baby,
I make you wet,
as we watch Lifetime on the couch,
with your pet.
Then I light candles in the bathroom,
scented of spices and lavender,
And I lick off all your clothes,
So you——FUCK!!!! What rhymes with lavender!?
Damn, this shit’s harder than I thought.
So you better put me on your calendar.
Commenting as a Guest. Sign in or Join.
Chrissy Teigen and John Legend at The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit South Beach Soiree at The Gale Hotel in Miami. (February 20, 2014) -Photo: Getty