Jennifer Lopez Still Makes Videos With Fat Joe

By: The Superficial / October 20, 2014
For the rest of her natural life, Jennifer Lopez will never make a video that's better than "Booty." These are facts. However, that still won't stop me from posting the new video for Fat Joe's "Stressin" because there's nothing more with the times than tone-deaf rap videos where rich people brag about how awesome and… More »

Kim Kardashian’s Endorsement Demands Are As Ridiculous As Her Ass

By: The Superficial / October 20, 2014
Most, if not all, of Kim Kardashian's services can be purchased through Kris Jenner. And if you think that's an exaggeration, here's Kim accepting an Austrian businessman's money to be his date to the 2014 Opera Ball in Vienna while engaged to Kanye West. In fact, I ran the numbers on how many times Warre… More »

Good Morning, Vivica Mitra, And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 20, 2014
- Chris Martin apparently gets the Beckhams in the divorce. [Lainey Gossip] - Pregnant Blake Lively is craving the most Blake Lively foods. [Dlisted] - Mariah Carey is going to put us at war with China. [Fishwrapper] - She's Got Legs For Days [theCHIVE] - This Is Why You're Afraid of Ebola (Despite The Fact… More »

Kelly Brook Took David McIntosh Back

By: The Superficial / October 17, 2014
At the end of September, Kelly Brook dumped David McIntosh for cheating on her. Two weeks later, he was already with a new girlfriend, and it wasn't even the woman he cheated on Kelly with. Which is apparently the key to winning her back because here are the two of them trying to sneak intoMore »

This Is A Post About Iggy Azalea’s Camel Toe

By: The Superficial / October 17, 2014
My last post dealt with such topics as the Antebellum South and rampant plagiarism in Internet journalism, so here's Iggy Azaela wearing tight booty shorts that show the outline of her vagina which involves none of that stuff unless her vagina somehow owned slaves. Which for the record, I would be open to. It ca… More »

Charlie Sheen Has Decided Not To Marry A Porn Star

By: The Superficial / October 17, 2014
The last time I posted about Charlie Sheen he'd "allegedly" tried to stab a dentist with a knife (and maybe grabbed a hygienist's breasts), but clearly he's sobered up since then because he finally realized you're not supposed to marry porn stars. Pay them for sex essentially making them hookers, but never marry them. E! More »

Good Morning, Cynthia Escobar, And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 17, 2014
- Jamie Dornan does British Vogue. [Lainey Gossip] - Glenn Close apparently grew up in a cult. [Dlisted] - The End Zone: Professional Football Mascots, Ranked [The Frisky] - Dane Cook is still a douche. [Fishwrapper] - Have I mentioned I fucking love this Tumblr? I fucking love this Tumblr. [Girls In Cute Underwear] -More »

Britney Spears Looks Normal, Aware of Her Surroundings. IT’S A TRAP!

By: The Superficial / October 16, 2014
Normally this is the part where I'd write an eerily accurate children's story about Britney Spears' dad exploiting her through the use of ice cream and tranquilizers, except Jesus Christ, she not only looks great but self-aware. If you asked her what day it is, she'd probably know it's "T'ursday" which is literally the most… More »

Robin Thicke Just Joined Leo’s Pussy Posse

By: Photo Boy / October 16, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy Robin Thicke's nine year marriage to Paula Patton unofficially hit the skids when Miley Cyrus forever tainted his dick by sliming her hillbilly ass all over it during their VMA performance. As of October 3rd, Paula officially filed for divorce citing "irreconcilable differences" even after Robin released his hilariously pathetic and… More »

Abigail Ratchford In A Bikini And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 16, 2014
- Ezra Miller is your movie Flash because apparently TV Flash wasn't enough. [Lainey Gossip] - Evan Rachel Wood has a new girlfriend. [Dlisted] - Thursday. Redheads. Victory. [theCHIVE] - Ready your Cumberboner, Sherlock will talk about experimenting with boys now. [Fishwrapper] - Just a reminder: Kanye spent 90% of Kim Kardashian's pregnancy in another… More »

BREAKING: Amber Rose Has A Butt

By: The Superficial / October 15, 2014
I've been at this job for seven years now, so I really shouldn't be surprised when the most ridiculous shit possible ends up turning into a huge Internet story, and yet here's Amber Rose's butt which apparently no one in entertainment media has seen until now. It's not like that thing just grew overnight. It… More »

Amanda Bynes Will Be Locked Up For A While

By: The Superficial / October 15, 2014
So I have some bad news for people who enjoy watching a mentally disabled woman spiral out of control because they think that's the same sort of "train wreck" as Lindsay Lohan, and good news for anyone who wants to see Amanda Bynes get the help she needs without her parents fucking it up by… More »

Frenchy Is Subtle And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 15, 2014
- Blake Lively's hipster baby shower will sell you $52 onesies now. [Lainey Gossip] - Taylor Swift's new single is a Victoria's Secret queef mixed with Tears For Fears or something. [Dlisted] - Stretching Deep For Hump Day [theCHIVE] - Reese Witherspoon is just complex now, y'all. [Fishwrapper] - Have I mentioned my Tumblr? [YeahMore »

Bertney Gets Serxy

By: The Superficial / October 14, 2014
Bertney Learns To Be Serxy A "Your Changing Body And You" Reader Bertney loved going to the gym. She loved it because Papa stayed home, and she could eat whole bunches of funny tasting candy bars from the snack machine. The gym also had milkshakes, but Bertney didn't drink them anymore because they tasted likeMore »

Kesha Sues Dr. Luke For Sexual Assault

By: The Superficial / October 14, 2014
Kesha looks unfortunate in swimsuits - Bear with me! - but that doesn't mean she, or any woman, should ever be the victim of the shit she's suing her producer Dr. Luke for allegedly doing. TMZ reports: According to a new lawsuit -- obtained by TMZ -- Kesha claims Dr. Luke was abusive towards her… More »

Shia LaBeouf’s Drunk Butt-Touching Days Are Over

By: Photo Boy / October 14, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy Remember last week when the artist formerly known as the actor Shia LaBeouf went on Ellen to thoughtfully reflect on society's shared existential void, which lead him to act out, in turn leading meanie meanheads to say mean things about him on the Internet? It could have been all of that,… More »

And Now Chris Brown Will Solve Ebola

By: Photo Boy / October 14, 2014
"For the sake of science and shit, Imma make out with my homie right here to prove to ya'll they lyin'." Posted by Photo Boy Because dumb and batshit crazy is what passes for celebrity these days, here's Chris Brown's tweet about Ebola, which according to these reports *rubs empty fingers together, makes paper rustlingMore »

Miley Cyrus Is Topless

By: The Superficial / October 14, 2014
Considering I could draw Miley Cyrus' labia with my eyes shut because I've seen it so much - *closes eyes, doodles penguin with a top hat* NAILED IT. - it really shouldn't be that big of a thrill that she's wearing tiny shorts and topless on her hotel balcony in Sydney. Except it is because… More »

Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 14, 2014
- There's a woman with George Clooney's last name out there. THE END IS NIGH. [Lainey Gossip] - Iggy Azalea is attacking the paparazzi with shopping carts now. [Dlisted] - Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE] - Goddammit, Mariah Carey, put that shit away. [Fishwrapper] - Fuck your sentimental bullshit about life before social… More »

Is Kylie Jenner Dating Tyga? A Post With Kim Kardashian’s Nipple In It

By: The Superficial / October 13, 2014
There's a persistent rumor going around that 17-year-old Kylie Jenner is dating Tyga, a 25-year-old rapper, which her family denies so you know it's definitely happening. And while that seems questionable as hell, you can see Kim Kardashian's nipples through her dress, so let's focus on that and let Kylie's mother worry about that other… More »

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