Candid

Bertney’s Special New Berfend

By: The Superficial / November 10, 2014
Bertney's Special New Berfend A Learning About Genders Reader Bertney loved having a boyfriend, and Papa always found the nicest ones to take Bertney to all of her favorite places to eat: The Cheesecake Factory, McDonald's, Johnny Rockets, McDonald's again, Red Robin, Taco Bell, and if she was really good, Chuck E. Cheese. It wasMore »


Chelsea Handler’s Topless Again

By: The Superficial / November 10, 2014
Because your god is dead, Chelsea Handler is continuing her topless assault on social media and subjecting everyone to her naked breasts on Twitter: Exercising my human right to work side by side with my fellow man. #amazon #freethenipple Keep in mind, Chelsea Handler was enjoying a luxury vacation on the Amazon where people lack… More »


Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn? Jared Leto’s The Joker? WTF’s Happening?

By: The Superficial / November 10, 2014
Over the weekend, news broke that Jared Leto is in talks to play The Joker in Suicide Squad because Warner Bros. is clearly in the business of going, "You already did what on Arrow? Fuck you." (See, also: Ezra Miller, The Flash) And now Collider is reporting that the insanely hot Margot Robbie is HarleyMore »


Good Morning, Alessandra Ambrosio, And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 10, 2014
- Charlie Hunnam's odds for being PEOPLE's Sexiest Man Alive. [Lainey Gossip] - Robert Pattinson and FKA Twigs were seen in public. I'm so sorry, people still into Twilight. [Dlisted] - Megan Fox in lingerie covered with blood, anyone? [Fishwrapper] - Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE] - Cara Delevingne's dating a dude now. More »


Heidi Montag: ‘Amanda Bynes Can Live With Me!’

By: The Superficial / November 7, 2014
After TMZ posted photos of Amanda Bynes sleeping inside a mall because she's essentially homeless now, Heidi Montag has graciously shoved her breasts into the press again and offered Amanda a place to stay. But if Heidi somehow thinks that's going to make the Internet start posting photos of her giant fake breasts again, she'… More »


Rachel Bilson And That Douchebag Named Their Kid Briar Rose

By: Photo Boy / November 7, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen named their newborn daughter Briar Rose, but I'm still not sold on Hayden being the real father. I don't remember anything about how whining into the uterus fertilizes the egg from that Miracle of Life video we watched in 7th grade. But I am now remembering… More »


Sasquatch Butt In The Morning And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 7, 2014
- Selena Gomez made a music video about Justin Bieber. Goddammit. [Lainey Gossip] - Let the Cumberbaby rumors begin. [Dlisted] - Eminem looks like this now. [Fishwrapper] - Actual Statements Written In Patients’ Hospital Charts [theCHIVE] - There's a #ReaderGate now. [The Frisky] - Genevieve Morton's in a bikini. [WWTDD] - Apparently you can't call… More »


Bertney And The Key To The City

By: The Superficial / November 6, 2014
Bertney And The Key To The City A Good Citizen Reader Bertney loved keys. She loved keys even more than she loved having a whole day named after her because she already thought every day was named after her. "On Bertney Day everybody goes to church. And on Bertney Day I get to put LuckyMore »


Margot Robbie’s Nipples Will Lead Us Into The Light

By: The Superficial / November 6, 2014
So the past two weeks have been a soulcrushing smorgasbord of child molesters and the sloth-people who let them near their kids, and pretentious hipsters who think writing about their little sister's vagina is totes edgy, all capped off by me staring deep into a bottomless abyss of dumb that 100% believes that even a… More »


Amanda Bynes’ Parents: ‘Fuck It, We’re Moving To Texas’

By: The Superficial / November 6, 2014
With a conservatorship over her finances secured by a judge, Amanda Bynes' parents' plan was to slowly give her small amounts of money in hopes that she'd eventually hit rock-bottom and get the help she obviously needs. Except waiting games eat bushels of dick, so they're punting the whole thing over to a mental health… More »


Good Morning, Lisa Opie, And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 6, 2014
- Marc Anthony got engaged to his model girlfriend. [Lainey Gossip] - I honestly forgot Shauna Sand was still out there. [Dlisted] - Kirk Cameron took his daughters to Jessa Duggar's wedding so they could basically learn that kissing before marriage is for sluts. Yup. [Fishwrapper] - Presenting The Internet's Cleavage Hall of Fame [theCHIVE]… More »


Good Morning, Kat Torres, And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 5, 2014
- Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin are still fucking. [Lainey Gossip] - Stevie Wonder is having triplets. Yup. [Dlisted] - Goddamn, Kyra Santoro... [theCHIVE] - Amanda Seyfried almost lost roles because she was overweight? Amanda Seyfried? [Fishwrapper] - Dating Don’ts: The Worst (And Best) Ways To Break Up With Someone [The Frisky] - Rihanna get… More »


Everything With Amanda Bynes Is Still Awful

By: The Superficial / November 4, 2014
For those of you who need a constant update on how Amanda Bynes' life is specifically falling through the cracks of our failed mental health system, according to TMZ, she's currently living off of $50 to $100 AmEx gift cards doled out by her parents who secured a conservatorship over her finances. Apparently their pla… More »


Adrienne Bailon Tried To Save Karrueche Tran From Chris Brown

By: Photo Boy / November 4, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy Chris Brown has been violently lashing out at women ever since he violently lashed out at Rihanna, almost killing her in the process. Yet here we are, five years later, somehow still shocked at his toddler-in-a-cereal-aisle meltdowns whenever someone asks his girlfriend "Are you sure getting into that club is worth… More »


Welp, The Democrats Just Lost

By: The Superficial / November 4, 2014
While it's pretty much a given that today's midterm elections will favor the Republicans because old, white people have nothing but time on their hands to vote, Kim Kardashian tweeting her support for Obama isn't helping. You can just go ahead and call the whole thing right now. Not to mention, her "support" basically use… More »


That’s Kate Upton’s Butt

By: The Superficial / November 3, 2014
And now back to Celebrity's Underwear, Can I See Them? Here's Kate Upton's skirt flying up while she poses in front of a wind machine in Miami. Which, yes, is pretty anti-climactic after seeing her naked - *wipes SEO off chin* - but at the same time, the post before this had a picture of… More »


Rihanna Will Make You Want To Bang Raphael Now

By: The Superficial / November 3, 2014
The right wing media is waging a horseshit campaign to paint Lena Dunham as a child molester, but before we get to that, let's look at Rihanna's tits painted like a Ninja Turtle because I'm almost positive this is the story on everyone's mind that will define us a generation. Or make me watch the… More »


It’s Heidi Klum’s Halloween Costume

By: The Superficial / November 3, 2014
Every Halloween Heidi Klum wears an overly elaborate costume as she's done each year (except for last when she merely revealed her true form) since Hitler summoned her from the demonic realm to vanquish his enemies and festoon the Fatherland with topless tittery. So here she is transformed into a beautiful butterfly which I'm pretty… More »


Kelly Brook’s Breasts Are The Devil And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 3, 2014
- Benedict Cumberbatch describes how Sherlock would fuck. Bring a change of underwear. [Lainey Gossip] - Olivier Martinez's punches ruined Gabriel Aubry's modeling career. -- I believe it. [Dlisted] - Sunday Is A Good Day For Lingerie [theCHIVE] - For the love of God, Tara Reid, please stop taking selfies of your crotch. [Fishwrapper] -More »


Lena Dunham’s Topless, Too, Goddammit

By: The Superficial / October 31, 2014
Christian conservatives like to flail their arms around and say America is becoming Nazi Germany because people sometimes disagree them and don't go, "Why, yes, we should become a theocracy based on a 2,000 year old book that says you can stone women and gays to death. How do we make that happen?" However, if… More »


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