No, Beyonce Isn’t Pregnant Again, Shut Up

By: The Superficial / September 15, 2014
Back in July, Beyonce started changing song lyrics to make it sound she was getting a divorce which turned out to be a bullshit hoax to sell tickets. It was a lesson learned by everyone, and only an idiot would try pulling the same stunt twice, so here's … More »

And Now Back To Sexy Celebrities In Bikinis, Or Just Demi Lovato

By: The Superficial / September 15, 2014
Now that I wrote a short novel about corporal punishment, here's Demi Lovato lounging poolside in a bikini which is about as non-controversial as it gets until you find yourself wondering where Wilmer Valderrama is and start Googling local high schools to see if they had Homecoming … More »

Nicki Minaj Doesn’t Want You To See This Photo

By: The Superficial / September 15, 2014
There's nothing even close to natural about Nicki Minaj's ass, but apparently it's not gargantuan enough for her live performances because here she is performing at Fashion Rocks where a photographer managed to catch a shot of her buttpad. Except in the spirit of Beyonce, the shot's … More »

Good Morning, Lisa Opie, And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 15, 2014
- Michael Che jumps from The Daily Show to Weekend Update. [Lainey Gossip] - Lindsay Lohan claims she handled Whitney Houston's body bag. [Dlisted] - Sunday Is A Good Day For Lingerie [theCHIVE] - Selena Gomez keeps getting hotter - so Justin Bieber won't leave her. Goddammit. [ … More »

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.23

By: The Superficial / September 13, 2014
Now that our server has finally stopped crying and repeatedly scrubbing itself in the shower thanks to The Fappening, welcome to the triumphant return of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring a robust assortment of shit-tastical comments that I've been diligently curating over the past three weeks because you … More »

Everybody Hates Ariana Grande

By: The Superficial / September 12, 2014
"Oh, yeah, I like this." - Someone with a probation officer Earlier in the week, Ariana Grande was accused of being a 12-year-old (Shut up, that girl is 12. SHE'S 12!) pain in the ass diva in Australia which she naturally denied. Except here comes Giuliani Rancic … More »

Iggy Azalea Admits She’s In A Sex Tape, But Claims She Was Underage

By: The Superficial / September 12, 2014
Up until about 30 minutes ago, I couldn't tell you who or what an Iggy Azalea is, or how she's standing next to Rita Ora because I just assumed they're the same person, but now I know that she's some sort of singer with a Twitter account who just yesterday denied … More »

Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 12, 2014
- Anna Wintour's 73 questions is a class study in non-fuck giving. [Lainey Gossip] - Tori Spelling is going to pretend her marriage is in shambles for a second season. [Dlisted] - Bouncing Breasts GIFS? Get in there. [theCHIVE] - Mike Tyson responds well to being asked about that … More »

Amanda Cerny In A Bikini: The Crap I Missed

By: The Superficial / September 11, 2014
Alright, folks, Photo Boy is at a funeral today which means no The Crap We Missed and all the Prince Charles that entails. Fortunately, here's Amanda Cerny in some hot-ass bikini pics to make up for that. It's almost like she sensed I needed them, but don't … More »

Peggy From ‘Mad Men’ Is Still In A Bikini

By: The Superficial / September 11, 2014
"Alright, Ms. Moss, we gotcher, uh, standard paparazzi agreement here. You make with a boob grab, couple spread eagles, a nice, little seductive over the shoulder, and bada bing bada boom, we cut you a fat juicy check for your space church thingy." "It's a Thetan purification center." "Sure it … More »

Hey, Aaron Carter, Stop Creeping Out My Girlfriend Hilary Duff

By: The Superficial / September 11, 2014
Shortly after Hilary Duff separated from Mike Comrie, the proto-Bieber turned freakishly jacked opportunist Aaron Carter professed his undying love for his long lost ex on Twitter which she's avoided talking about until now. And, surprise, it creeps her right the fuck out. Buzzfeed reports: And then … More »

Oscar Pistorius Found Not Guilty of Murder

By: The Superficial / September 11, 2014
Just in case you think America is the only country where famous athletes can basically do whatever they want to women with little to no consequence, Oscar Pistorius was just acquitted of murder of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp after shooting her four times through a closed bathroom door on Valentine's Day. More »

Good Morning, Natalie Burn, And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 11, 2014
- Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin are being spotted in public. This shit's happening. [Lainey Gossip] - Since everyone enjoyed Jared Leto's dick so much, here's Zac Efron's hairy nipples. [Dlisted] - Redheads Are Masters of The Seductive Arts [theCHIVE] - Melissa Rivers tells jokes, too. I had no … More »

Miley Cyrus And The Art of Pineapple Semen

By: The Superficial / September 10, 2014
Miley Cyrus' "Dirty Hippie" art show opens today, and if you have no idea what that is, congratulations, you only looked at her naked boobs in V Magazine without reading any of the words. We're kin. Except if you do read the words like I only just now did, … More »

Why Y’All Booing Justin #BBare? Dat’s Racism!

By: The Superficial / September 10, 2014
Lemme get this all straight: Jennifer Lopez can flash her granny ass all over da stage, but da second my sexy, young boy #BBare gives y'all some dark sexual chocolate, mothafuckas be booing his ass? Dat's some Rodney King shit right here. Next you gonna tell me … More »

Ray Rice Is In ‘Good Spirits,’ Everybody

By: The Superficial / September 9, 2014
Lost in the media's zeal to destroy Janay Rice's life (Alright, who told her?) by holding the NFL accountable for treating domestic violence with a brief "time out," are the feelings of Ray Rice. Has anyone stopped to ask how he's doing after getting cut from the Ravens because everyone found … More »

Ariana Grande Has Demands

By: The Superficial / September 9, 2014
Ariana Grande looks like a 12-year-old Jennifer Lopez which is probably why she's so huge on the Internet right now, but enough about the thoughts that keep me awake at night. Anyway, also like JLo, she now travels with a list of demands that has horribly been … More »

Ashlee Simpson’s Sideboob In A Swimsuit, Anyone?

By: The Superficial / September 9, 2014
Normally, I start each morning with bikini photos, but today I decided to go with Shia LaBeouf's dick because sometimes I just want to watch the world burn. Anyway, to make up for that here's Ashlee Simpson sunbathing on her honeymoon which were basically free because … More »

No, No, No, Shia LaBeouf’s Penis And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 9, 2014
- Kristen Wiig might have banged Scott Speedman. [Lainey Gossip] - Fran Drescher's new husband didn't invent email by the way. [Dlisted] - Future Lower Back Problems > Fantasy Football [theCHIVE] - Miley Cyrus bought a hot glue gun and thinks she's an artist now. [Fishwrapper] - … More »

Kesha Still Shouldn’t Wear Bathing Suits

By: The Superficial / September 8, 2014
So remember back in May when Kesha looked sort of decent for a minute? That's all over now. But before I go any further, is it too soon to say these are almost as bad as the Ray Rice video? Because I definitely told Photo Boy to stop saying … More »

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