Good Morning, Maitland Ward, And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 22, 2014
- Selena Gomez might be banging Orlando Bloom again. [Lainey Gossip] - Ryan Phillippe: "I've only made five good movies." [Dlisted] - Presenting The Internet's Booty Hall of Fame [theCHIVE] - Dean McDermott used to jerk off to Tori Spelling when she was on 90210. [Fishwrapper] -… More »

Tori Spelling ‘Quarantined Like An Ebola Patient’

By: The Superficial / October 21, 2014
She's probably pregnant again, so why buy new pics? JOURNALISM! Tori Spelling lives thousands of miles away from anyone with the Ebola virus, and I'm pretty confident she's not walking around letting random strangers shit and bleed in her hands. On top of that, she has a gaping hole in her… More »

Did Tyga Put A Baby In Kylie Jenner?

By: The Superficial / October 21, 2014
As more and more evidence points to Tyga dating Kylie Jenner, his Instagram followers have decided to call him a pedophile for dating a 17-year old, but apparently they just a jealous ass ho who wish he'd put a baby in them. Like he did with Kylie? Wait. Via Fishwrapper: "why u sound… More »

Good Morning, Colleen Shannon, And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 21, 2014
- I have yet to hear one bad thing about Birdman. [Lainey Gossip] - Bethenny Frankel's mom seems nice. [Dlisted] - Jenna Handed To You On A Silver Platter [theCHIVE] - Sean Hannity invited Russell Brand onto his show, then had security kick him out. [Fishwrapper] -… More »

And Now Back To Celebrities: What Are They Doing With Their Vaginas?

By: The Superficial / October 20, 2014
After the depressing one-two punch (poor choice of words) of Stephen Collins getting off (and I did it again) scot-free and Ray Rice being reinstated next month, I thought we could use some lighter fare. So here's Miley Cyrus doing wacky stuff with her vulva because she'… More »

Jennifer Lopez Still Makes Videos With Fat Joe

By: The Superficial / October 20, 2014
For the rest of her natural life, Jennifer Lopez will never make a video that's better than "Booty." These are facts. However, that still won't stop me from posting the new video for Fat Joe's "Stressin" because there's nothing more with the times than tone-deaf rap videos where rich… More »

Kim Kardashian’s Endorsement Demands Are As Ridiculous As Her Ass

By: The Superficial / October 20, 2014
Most, if not all, of Kim Kardashian's services can be purchased through Kris Jenner. And if you think that's an exaggeration, here's Kim accepting an Austrian businessman's money to be his date to the 2014 Opera Ball in Vienna while engaged to Kanye West. In fact, I… More »

Good Morning, Vivica Mitra, And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 20, 2014
- Chris Martin apparently gets the Beckhams in the divorce. [Lainey Gossip] - Pregnant Blake Lively is craving the most Blake Lively foods. [Dlisted] - Mariah Carey is going to put us at war with China. [Fishwrapper] - She's Got Legs For Days [theCHIVE] - This I… More »

Kelly Brook Took David McIntosh Back

By: The Superficial / October 17, 2014
At the end of September, Kelly Brook dumped David McIntosh for cheating on her. Two weeks later, he was already with a new girlfriend, and it wasn't even the woman he cheated on Kelly with. Which is apparently the key to winning her back because here are… More »

This Is A Post About Iggy Azalea’s Camel Toe

By: The Superficial / October 17, 2014
My last post dealt with such topics as the Antebellum South and rampant plagiarism in Internet journalism, so here's Iggy Azaela wearing tight booty shorts that show the outline of her vagina which involves none of that stuff unless her vagina somehow owned slaves. Which for the… More »

Charlie Sheen Has Decided Not To Marry A Porn Star

By: The Superficial / October 17, 2014
The last time I posted about Charlie Sheen he'd "allegedly" tried to stab a dentist with a knife (and maybe grabbed a hygienist's breasts), but clearly he's sobered up since then because he finally realized you're not supposed to marry porn stars. Pay them for sex essentially… More »

Good Morning, Cynthia Escobar, And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 17, 2014
- Jamie Dornan does British Vogue. [Lainey Gossip] - Glenn Close apparently grew up in a cult. [Dlisted] - The End Zone: Professional Football Mascots, Ranked [The Frisky] - Dane Cook is still a douche. [Fishwrapper] - Have I mentioned I fucking love this Tumblr? I fucking… More »

Britney Spears Looks Normal, Aware of Her Surroundings. IT’S A TRAP!

By: The Superficial / October 16, 2014
Normally this is the part where I'd write an eerily accurate children's story about Britney Spears' dad exploiting her through the use of ice cream and tranquilizers, except Jesus Christ, she not only looks great but self-aware. If you asked her what day it is, she'd probably know it'… More »

Robin Thicke Just Joined Leo’s Pussy Posse

By: Photo Boy / October 16, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy Robin Thicke's nine year marriage to Paula Patton unofficially hit the skids when Miley Cyrus forever tainted his dick by sliming her hillbilly ass all over it during their VMA performance. As of October 3rd, Paula officially filed for divorce citing "irreconcilable differences" eve… More »

Abigail Ratchford In A Bikini And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 16, 2014
- Ezra Miller is your movie Flash because apparently TV Flash wasn't enough. [Lainey Gossip] - Evan Rachel Wood has a new girlfriend. [Dlisted] - Thursday. Redheads. Victory. [theCHIVE] - Ready your Cumberboner, Sherlock will talk about experimenting with boys now. [Fishwrapper] - Just a reminder: Kanye… More »

BREAKING: Amber Rose Has A Butt

By: The Superficial / October 15, 2014
I've been at this job for seven years now, so I really shouldn't be surprised when the most ridiculous shit possible ends up turning into a huge Internet story, and yet here's Amber Rose's butt which apparently no one in entertainment media has seen until now. It's not like that thing… More »

Amanda Bynes Will Be Locked Up For A While

By: The Superficial / October 15, 2014
So I have some bad news for people who enjoy watching a mentally disabled woman spiral out of control because they think that's the same sort of "train wreck" as Lindsay Lohan, and good news for anyone who wants to see Amanda Bynes get the help she needs without… More »

Frenchy Is Subtle And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 15, 2014
- Blake Lively's hipster baby shower will sell you $52 onesies now. [Lainey Gossip] - Taylor Swift's new single is a Victoria's Secret queef mixed with Tears For Fears or something. [Dlisted] - Stretching Deep For Hump Day [theCHIVE] - Reese Witherspoon is just complex now, y'all. [… More »

Bertney Gets Serxy

By: The Superficial / October 14, 2014
Bertney Learns To Be Serxy A "Your Changing Body And You" Reader Bertney loved going to the gym. She loved it because Papa stayed home, and she could eat whole bunches of funny tasting candy bars from the snack machine. The gym also had milkshakes, but Bertney didn't drink them anymore because they tasted like… More »

Kesha Sues Dr. Luke For Sexual Assault

By: The Superficial / October 14, 2014
Kesha looks unfortunate in swimsuits - Bear with me! - but that doesn't mean she, or any woman, should ever be the victim of the shit she's suing her producer Dr. Luke for allegedly doing. TMZ reports: According to a new lawsuit -- obtained by TMZ -- Kesha claim… More »

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