Candid

The Old Amanda Bynes Is Back

By: The Superficial / September 30, 2014
I gave Amanda Bynes' parents a lot of shit about their conservatorship because they seemed to be more concerned about her money and a little too quick to blame everything on weed instead of admitting she has a severe mental illness. However, to their credit, they did manage to … More »

Good Morning, Anais Zanotti, And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 30, 2014
- Apparently Brad Pitt loves Shia LaBeouf. [Lainey Gossip] - Those Amy's Baking Company crazies are trying to stab people now. [Dlisted] - Sideboob: Ain't nothing wrong with that. [theCHIVE] - Annie Lennox just took a shot at Beyonce. [Fishwrapper] - David Hasselhoff just redeemed himself for … More »

Kelly Brook’s Single Again

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014
Kelly Brook and David McIntosh reportedly broke up and surprisingly the reason wasn't, "His dick was a boner all the time," which would make sense, but according to the Daily Mail, it's because he cheated on her giant, awesome breasts which doesn't make sense. Maybe … More »

‘Please, Just Let Me Look At Fashion With My Tits And My Baby’

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014
"Guys, guys, please. I'm just a working mom trying to sit front row at a Paris fashion show with my tits and my baby. And Kanye West. I don't know how you always show up when I'm out with my tits and my baby, and Kanye West, … More »

We Live In A World Where George Clooney Is Married

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014
"Alzheimer's. Had it for months now. So who's the poor shmuck getting married?" If someone walked up to me and said, "Hey, did you hear George Clooney got married?" I'd punch that person square in the mouth for telling a lie so ridiculous I'd have legal grounds to sue for custody of his … More »

Jesus, Maitland Ward, Let Me Get Some Coffee First And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014
- Total Recall probably didn't help Jessica Biel land a part in True Detective. [Lainey Gossip] - Chelsea Clinton had a baby. [Dlisted] - There Are Sexy Chivers Among Us [theCHIVE] - Okay, the NFL isn't all bad. You got me. [The Mighty] - But just in … More »

And Now Gerard Butler Trying To Bang A Woman On A Paddleboard

By: The Superficial / September 26, 2014
"Ya know, lass, the ocean's like a great big chemical toilet when ya think about it." "You're still rich, right?" "Aye." "Then I guess we're doing this..." THE SUPERFICIAL | About • Facebook • Twitter Photos: AKM-GSI, Splash News … More »

Kim Kardashian’s Practically Topless Breasts Need An Armored Car Now

By: The Superficial / September 26, 2014
After being tackled by Vitalli Sediuk in Paris yesterday - Or the first time Kris Jenner naturally lubricated since 1986 as it shall be written in "The Apocalypse Scrolls." - Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are traveling by armored car with armed guards now, according … More »

It’s Jessica Simpson’s Breasts And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 26, 2014
- Kate Mara doing a Rust Cohle impression? You got me. [Lainey Gossip] - Frankie Grande's face when he loses Big Brother is priceless. [Dlisted] - The best responses to Ken Jennings' asshole tweet about the handicapped. [The Mighty] - These Dresses Couldn't Be Any Tighter If They Tried … More »

Bertney & The Duchess’ Underwear

By: The Superficial / September 25, 2014
Bertney & The Duchess' Underwear An "Exploring The World" Adventure Bertney loved getting to travel with Papa. He always took her to new and exciting places with all kinds of different ice creams and McDonald's. Papa said it made her more "cultured" which Bertney thought was a fancy word for hungry because that's what she … More »

Chelsea Heath Is Topless Now And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 25, 2014
- Keira Knightley might be your other new True Detective person. [Lainey Gossip] - Christopher Walken as Captain Hook is goddamn nightmare fuel. [Dlisted] - Miranda Kerr's ass is just right. [theCHIVE] - Warning: Marijuana affects the mind. [Fishwrapper] - "Alright, class, time for vagina cookies!" [ … More »

Jessica Simpson’s Baby Is High As Shit

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2014
Everybody shut up about everything: Eric Johnson throwing Jessica Simpson's baby 80 feet in the air is your new shiny object. Is it the cutest thing ever, or the launchpad for a thousand mommy blog posts on child tossing? The world's your oyster here. As for me, I'm using it to … More »

Stay The Hell Away From Sarah Hyland’s Ex

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2014
Modern Family star Sarah Hyland has filed a restraining order against her allegedly abusive ex-boyfriend Matt Prokop after enlisting the help of Julie Bowen to get out of the relationship. So if you only read this top part, never, ever date this guy. TMZ reports: According to the docs, … More »

Gwyneth Paltrow Still Has Chris Martin Whipped

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2014
Chris Martin's consciously uncoupled life may seem awesome, and full of Jennifer Lawrence's vagina, but at the end of the day, Gwyneth Paltrow is apparently still in control of his schedule. Which still affords him time to bang Jennifer Lawrence, so already this post is on shaky … More »

Dakota Johnson’s In A Bikini

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2014
Everything about the Emma Watson situation makes me want to rub magnets all over the Internet before pissing in its open ports (Wow, that was oddly specific.), so here's Dakota Johnson in a bikini which is great for you because now you can tell people you saw her butt … More »

Good Morning, Ashley Lee, And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2014
- Chris Pratt has to put up with Ariana Grande this weekend. [Lainey Gossip] - Paula Deen is changed, y'all. [Dlisted] - Girls Tugging On Their Clothes is why we Internet. [theCHIVE] - James Franco is still writing shitty poetry about not banging Lindsay Lohan. [Fishwrapper] - … More »

Daphne Joy’s In A Bikini

By: The Superficial / September 23, 2014
You're probably wondering how I can just go from a post defending Emma Watson and the virtues of feminism to Daphne Joy bikini photos, and it's simple, really. I push "Publish," and then people go, "Good heavens, are those ass and titties?" before clicking on each photo hundreds of thousands of … More »

If Only There Was Some Way To Tell If Lady GaGa Has A New Album Out

By: The Superficial / September 23, 2014
If you're wondering why I put stars over Lady Gaga's pasties, trust me when I say that from far away - say the exact distance you're boss would be standing - the fabric of her dress creates a circular effect that looks exactly like a nipple. Which is also why I'm typing five … More »

Kris & Bruce Jenner Filed For Divorce

By: The Superficial / September 23, 2014
It's been almost a year since Kris and Bruce Jenner separated, and now it's time for them to file for divorce because that's what's written in the script between Kourtney gets pregnant again and Rob shoots himself next to a bucket of ribs for November sweeps. (Calling it.) People … More »

Chelsea Heath’s Butt’s Back And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 23, 2014
- Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin are starting to be photographed together. [Lainey Gossip] - Robert Pattinson has a new girlfriend who probably didn't name her cat Renessmee. [Dlisted] - What’s Monday Night Without Some NFL Cheerleaders? [theCHIVE] - Methinks the Beyonce Beyonces too hard. [Fishwrapper] - … More »

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