And Now Back To ‘Wait, Is That A Nipple? Eh, Close Enough’

Now that we’ve stared deep into the fat, punch-me-face of human depravity and the incest-friendly environment using your uterus as a clown for Jesus provides, it’s practically quaint that my next post is about almost seeing Petra Nemcova’s nipples that I know people will still click on because Julianne Hough’s tiny nips killed yesterday. In fact, all of us are basically adorable provided we didn’t molest our sisters in their sleep. (Please don’t tell me how few of you that applies to. I like the dark.)

Photos: AKM-GSI, Getty