Pete Wentz’s dad must cry himself to sleep

May 16th, 2008 // 60 Comments

Pete Wentz (full name Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III, I shit you not) had a bachelor party thrown for him last night with his dad (pink shirt) and future father-in-law Joe Simpson. No doubt, Pete’s father did backflips when he learned Pete was marrying a girl then immediately stormed down to the VFW and punched out everyone that ever mocked him. Even though he never served in the military and typically drinks at Applebee’s. Anyway, I can just picture the words of excitement coming out of Pete’s mouth during this momentous occasion of male-bonding:

“Oh, lookee, father! A stripper establishment. Goody-gum-drops. I do so hope we can put dollar bills into their panties. Oh, can we, father? I’d be the happiest boy in the world! I would, I would.”

But, no, seriously. Congratulations, Pete, and if I ever see you, I’ll hit you in the face with your own neon-blue-laced hightops. Cheers!


  1. I love how the other guy (the parking attendant maybe?) in the photo looks all, “WTF?! Douchebag couture is so scary!”

    I also like how Wentz look genuinely drunk/startled in the last two photos because his cliche “Let’s leave through the service entrance so nobody sees us” ploy has failed.

  2. Dorito Man

    Dear Mr Ashlee Simpson and your blue shoes.

    I just want to do your wife, not you. So you can stand down, Pete.

  3. alissa

    This “guy” is SUCH a tool!!!! I didn’t think he was “manly” enough to even get a boner let alone make a baby!!!!!

  4. malicious

    #54 don’t you remember the boner pics?

  5. The look on the valet’s face in that first pic pretty much sums up how I feel.

  6. RicoSuave

    Looks like an emo hobbit.

  7. Heather

    Guy in background ; “*sigh* Oh, so hes NOT gay? oh.. REALLY? Your joking!”

    Guy in foreground ; “God knows! Have you SEEN his ‘wife’?”

    Guy in background ; “HOLY GOD!! THATS A GIRL????”

  8. The Truth

    How bald is this fag ,looks lik a furture Donald Trump

  9. The Truth

    How bald is this fag ,looks lik a furture Donald Trump

  10. Martin Rowley


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