Pete Wentz (full name Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III, I shit you not) had a bachelor party thrown for him last night with his dad (pink shirt) and future father-in-law Joe Simpson. No doubt, Pete’s father did backflips when he learned Pete was marrying a girl then immediately stormed down to the VFW and punched out everyone that ever mocked him. Even though he never served in the military and typically drinks at Applebee’s. Anyway, I can just picture the words of excitement coming out of Pete’s mouth during this momentous occasion of male-bonding:
“Oh, lookee, father! A stripper establishment. Goody-gum-drops. I do so hope we can put dollar bills into their panties. Oh, can we, father? I’d be the happiest boy in the world! I would, I would.”
But, no, seriously. Congratulations, Pete, and if I ever see you, I’ll hit you in the face with your own neon-blue-laced hightops. Cheers!
Me! | May 16, 2008 at 2:27 pm
firs?
Hi | May 16, 2008 at 2:28 pm
I have that same shirt.
...overheard at the party... | May 16, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Pete: “…I roll over and she uses this wonderful Astrogylde stuff…”
Dad: “Stop.”
Pete: “…and then she sticks her chin up my…”
Dad: “Please stop.”
jazzhands | May 16, 2008 at 2:30 pm
mmm. Nothin like a man in skin tight black denim with a douchy bee shirt and sleevless hoodie. Well done whatsyername. Well done.
I’m reminded of the kid brother in “Hot Rod” when they do the weird “Ancestors Protect Me” “May they protect you”…..
Guy | May 16, 2008 at 2:34 pm
The 3rd photo scares and confuses me.
veggi | May 16, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Poor Pete. He’s doing this whole thing because he wants a “we were really drunk” encounter in the men’s room with Tony Romo at his reception, and now Romo dumped Jessica. He’ll have to settle for the traditional “drink the father-in-law’s semen as it oozes out of your bride” ceremony, while the guests all yell “Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!” Ahhh….good times….
megs | May 16, 2008 at 2:38 pm
those shoes are horrendous….so i guess they match everything else he’s wearing
cholo | May 16, 2008 at 2:39 pm
what a douche.
what a tool.
what a marooon.
Racer X | May 16, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Ghey!
/Emo SUCKS!!!!!
stungun | May 16, 2008 at 2:40 pm
oh my gosh..he is so hot<3
steve | May 16, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Big night – dad even arranged for a hooker. His last night before it’s only one girl for the rest of his life! And also about 400 guys.
The One & Only Danielle♥ | May 16, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I think Pete & Ashlee are perfect for each other. They share the same taste in make-up, clothes, men, nail polish, tampons…the WORKS! Congrats to the couple, and may you have a long & peaceful honeymoon at SeaWorld ;)
veggi | May 16, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Hey # 6. Fuck off.. anyway, since when do you write anything that DOESN’T have to do with snails or asses or whatever is in your sick ass mind?? You’re fucking weird, ya know?
only thing worse than a conservative is a... | May 16, 2008 at 2:48 pm
^^^^^ hey jrz!
veggi | May 16, 2008 at 2:50 pm
@13 *smooch* missed ya!
Alex | May 16, 2008 at 2:51 pm
It is getting extraordinarily difficult to tell one’s sexual orientation by the way they dress. Damn you, What Not to Wear!
Ted from LA | May 16, 2008 at 2:52 pm
He looks like he’s waiting for the short bus.
veggi | May 16, 2008 at 2:54 pm
15- hahaha. that’s actually kinda funny.. weirdo
seriously, this is completely boring compared to the ramblings of ramalamadingdong….. can’t we debate the sin of ribbon wearing or something??
LeFarge | May 16, 2008 at 2:57 pm
He should be a model for “Queerbait” magazine
Matt | May 16, 2008 at 3:02 pm
I would love to smash this guy’s face. He is a fuckin tool-bag.
Tom | May 16, 2008 at 3:05 pm
See, there’s no need for gay marriage, at least not for men. Gay men don’t want to be monogamous anyway, to put it mildly – lots of gay men have sex with hundreds of guys in their lifetimes. So why fight for gay marriage and monogamy that lasts, what, a year, maybe? when you can marry a girl who’s terrified of sex, like Ashlee (with good reason, given all her memories from childhood of Papa Joe behind her, grunting like a pig). She won’t ask for sex, she’ll do everything she can to avoid conflict, and she’ll definitely NOT demand to inspect your filthy penis when you return from a night of colon-wrangling with random guys in a bar. There are plenty of girls like that (terrified of sex) to choose from. Ashlee’s a little unusual, because these girls typically eat a lot as substitute for sex, and to make it difficult for guys to look at them and get erections. Just look around – they’re everywhere these days.
Jimbo | May 16, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Check out the sneakers on this nancy-boy. The only strip club he goes into feature the thunder from down under. And when you ask him about the pole he thinks you’re offering to @ss bang him.
Cheese | May 16, 2008 at 3:16 pm
What’s this guy remotely famous for?
brandon | May 16, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Nice space shoes…..what a jackass
MightyD | May 16, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I wonder if them shoes (?) lace themselves like in Back to The future…cuz that would be CHINtastik!!
bootlips | May 16, 2008 at 4:00 pm
You can tell this guy thinks he’s all that. I wouldn’t know who he was if he wasn’t getting married to nose job.
anon | May 16, 2008 at 4:02 pm
#17, I laughed so hard at your comment.
——————————
“What’s with the shoes – is there a mission to the moon later?”
10 points to whoever can tell me what that quote is from. ;)
Sport | May 16, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Fag.
lee | May 16, 2008 at 4:05 pm
I think this douche is a prime example of why some men shouldn’t be allowed to dress themselves.
Impatient... | May 16, 2008 at 4:08 pm
…in fact, #27, you might say I can’t hardly wait…
chichi | May 16, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Hey he’s a hero and best friend. Really, Pete is saving Ashlee from the manipulative and dirty grasp of her extremely disagreeable freaky dad.. and passive-moron spend thrift mother. Plus she can gleefully step over fruitcake-loser fake-fainting attention-greedy Jessica on her way out of the chapel.
anon | May 16, 2008 at 4:12 pm
#27, excellent. I’m glad someone else got it, haha.
anon | May 16, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Whoops, I mean that at #30. Haha.
Armand | May 16, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Why is Ashley Simpson marrying a gay dude?
Please do a post of who is hotter
Ashley vs Jessica
Call papa Joe and get some boob input
SO RIGHT | May 16, 2008 at 4:35 pm
I’ve read a lot of blogs and you are BY FAR the funniest gossip writer. Seriously! Hilarious! I cannot stop thinking about Pete’s father crying himself to sleep.
Auntie Kryst | May 16, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Do you think soft boy Pete’s dad and Joe had to forcibly hold him down to get him to sit through a lapdance??
hot mess | May 16, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Pete’s dad and Joe *did* forcibly hold him down to get him a lapdance, but they gave up ‘cuz he got a boner b4 the girl got there.
Truth Hurts | May 16, 2008 at 4:46 pm
#34, c’mon you know why she’s marrying a gay guy. He’s just a beard, cuz she’s really sleeping with her dad! Everyone knows that.
dukseewhorse | May 16, 2008 at 5:19 pm
The only thing that is missing from this tool’s get-up is the small LA GEAR license plate hanging from his shoes…. Oh yeah; and a HYPERCOLOR shirt.. 80′s RULE!!!!
Prof | May 16, 2008 at 7:15 pm
So… dressing like a gay 13 year old from 1985 is the style now huh. Ashley is reeeally in denial about ol’ Pete Wentz’s sexuality, oh well maybe she’ll get to play the women in bed sometime.
Gwen | May 16, 2008 at 8:31 pm
You are totally shitting us. No WAY is that his real name. And there’s no way I’m going to waste my time looking it up to find out, damn it. I’ll waste my time on this freakin’ blog, but I do have some standards…
Ha, today’s my birthday so I’m drinking my face off. :) Whoooo!!!
Jesus... | May 17, 2008 at 12:07 am
What a fucking fruitcake…
Maria | May 17, 2008 at 12:25 am
I don’t really understand all the hate for this guy.
His sexuality is his own deal, and he obviously knows what he’s doing. I think they’re a really attractive pair, though I was never a fan of Pete until last week when he was on MTV Live. Just seemed like a really chill, down to earth, friendly guy.
I just think it’s sad that close to no one on this site ever has anything decent to say. Ever.
Maria | May 17, 2008 at 12:26 am
MTV Live Canada* if that means anything.
xx | May 17, 2008 at 1:09 am
Pete’s dad was one of my professors in law school. Decent enough guy. Seemed proud of his son a the time, but that was before all this Ashlee stuff.
GG1000 | May 17, 2008 at 2:01 am
WTF is on his FEET? Christ on a bike, dude, get a mirror!
JeffreyDahmer | May 17, 2008 at 3:41 am
I remember Ashley Simpson wearing that exact same shirt in some photo I seen on the Interwebs. He’s pretty gay if he shares clothes with his girlfriend.
gerard Vandenberg | May 17, 2008 at 1:00 pm
This gives us right away the answer why he has all the tattoos?
HE JUST WANTS TO LOOK TOUGH IN DAY-LIGHT!!
That’s the answer folks!!
Sprklchick | May 17, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Why does what he’s wearing remind me of Back to the Future II?? It’s gotta be the futuristic – yet – retro (and completely retarded) shoes.
Erica | May 17, 2008 at 4:42 pm
I want his kicks. Those shoes are in with teens. Seeing as I’m a teen, I follow trendz. Ha sikkeee.