The whole Simpson crew partied at the grand opening of the Palm Place Hotel & Spa in Vegas where their new douche-in-law Pete Wentz DJ’d the event. Pete wanted to make sure everyone know that he’s fallen hard for Joe Simpson. Hard enough to play some Huey Lewis & The News which technically makes them married in the state of Vermont. I have no actual data to back that up. People reports:
Playing “Power of Love,” Wentz said into the microphone, “This is dedicated to my father in law Joe Simpson. I definitely have the power of love for you.”
He later dedicated a song to his “baby momma,” who was sitting in VIP with her mom drinking water.
And speaking of his “baby momma,” Ashlee Simpson officially announced the cancellation of her summer tour. So, condolences to the five people who bought tickets:
“After careful consideration, Ashlee Simpson has decided to postpone her summer tour,” the singer’s publicist said in a statement Saturday. “She is committed to giving her fans the best show possible, and will be back better than ever and ready to rock in the future.”
When I mentioned the whole Simpson crew was present, I, of course, meant Jessica as well who was bombarded by fans asking her to hold their babies. I imagine these photo sessions went a little something a like this: “Oh’s y’all, it’s Jessica SImpson, y’all. Oh, I just loves y’all. Holds my baby, y’all. I know, y’all, it must be tough, y’all, not having your own baby y’all. Smile for the camera, dear. Oh, y’all, that Tony Romo cheating on you y’all. Smile for Gramma, cutie. Y’alls being dumb as a hammer y’all. Hang in there y’all. Always adopt y’all. God bless y’all. Ooh, let’s play Keno, y’all. I hope they have a y’all buffet y’all.” It’s almost like you’re there, isn’t it? Yeah, uh, my bad. Gotta stop doing that….