Pete Wentz hearts his new father-in-law, Jessica Simpson reminded she’ll never reproduce

June 2nd, 2008 // 45 Comments

The whole Simpson crew partied at the grand opening of the Palm Place Hotel & Spa in Vegas where their new douche-in-law Pete Wentz DJ’d the event. Pete wanted to make sure everyone know that he’s fallen hard for Joe Simpson. Hard enough to play some Huey Lewis & The News which technically makes them married in the state of Vermont. I have no actual data to back that up. People reports:

Playing “Power of Love,” Wentz said into the microphone, “This is dedicated to my father in law Joe Simpson. I definitely have the power of love for you.”
He later dedicated a song to his “baby momma,” who was sitting in VIP with her mom drinking water.

And speaking of his “baby momma,” Ashlee Simpson officially announced the cancellation of her summer tour. So, condolences to the five people who bought tickets:

“After careful consideration, Ashlee Simpson has decided to postpone her summer tour,” the singer’s publicist said in a statement Saturday. “She is committed to giving her fans the best show possible, and will be back better than ever and ready to rock in the future.”

When I mentioned the whole Simpson crew was present, I, of course, meant Jessica as well who was bombarded by fans asking her to hold their babies. I imagine these photo sessions went a little something a like this: “Oh’s y’all, it’s Jessica SImpson, y’all. Oh, I just loves y’all. Holds my baby, y’all. I know, y’all, it must be tough, y’all, not having your own baby y’all. Smile for the camera, dear. Oh, y’all, that Tony Romo cheating on you y’all. Smile for Gramma, cutie. Y’alls being dumb as a hammer y’all. Hang in there y’all. Always adopt y’all. God bless y’all. Ooh, let’s play Keno, y’all. I hope they have a y’all buffet y’all.” It’s almost like you’re there, isn’t it? Yeah, uh, my bad. Gotta stop doing that….

superficial

  1. FIRSTT FINALLY SHIT!!1

  2. She shouldn’t reproduce. With those two it would turn out to be the spawn of Satan.

  3. yukadoozer

    woo hoo. Those Simpson gals know how to par-tay.

  4. Zig

    Why’d she cancel the tour? It’d be a better show if they just put a tape recorder out in front of the band.

  5. Eric

    I hope Petey’s vag doesn’t get too ripped up during the birth.

  6. ApacheRose

    Fish, that was just fucking annoying.

  7. Andy

    Pete said he felt the power of love mostly at the back of his throat.

  8. snarky

    oh my gosh, who has on more makeup in that first pic; pete or ashlee? They probably share makeup…how romantic…honey, pass me the lipstick….eeewww

  9. Cindy

    Pete’s like the biological daughter Papa Joe never had.

  10. their kid

    Do you have any idea how many times I’ll have to hear “THAT’s your DAD???”

  11. snarky

    red hair is just not flattering on asslee; she looks like a younger version of mrs roper

  12. Sport

    His makeup looks prettier than hers.

    fag.

  13. shoofitz

    Does anyone else find it disturbing that Pete Douchebag Wentz wears eyeliner on a regular basis? Every single picture I’ve seen him in lately he’s had fucking eyeliner on. I really wish I could get close to him once, just to beat his fucking face in.

  14. veggi

    One of their favorite things is when Ashlee puts lipstick on his butthole so it looks like his ass is screaming “oh no!!!”

  15. sara

    is it just the ‘too much makeup’ or does ashlee simpson look much older suddenly?

  16. Ana Rita

    You may don’t know but Amy was in Portugal, Lisbon, at Rock in Rio.
    She was just AMY WINEHOUSE, her voice is loosing capacities, to be truth, she even can’t remember same lyrics, but in stage she is perfect, she has something that shine, i don’t know how to explain. In spite of being, completly drugged and pass all the concert with a glasse of wine.
    I just thought you would like to know. You may search at google or youtube “amy rock in rio”.
    XOXO

  17. Ana Rita

    You may don’t know but Amy was in Portugal, Lisbon, at Rock in Rio.
    She was just AMY WINEHOUSE, her voice is loosing capacities, to be truth, she even can’t remember same lyrics, but in stage she is perfect, she has something that shine, i don’t know how to explain. In spite of being, completly drugged and pass all the concert with a glasse of wine.
    I just thought you would like to know. You may search at google or youtube “amy rock in rio”.
    XOXO

  18. some guy

    anyone else feel sorry for the kid in picture 5?

  19. Anonymous

    Ana Rita,

    Sounds like you’ve been doing the same drugs as Winehous. Put down the crack pipe, dear.

  20. veggi

    Shut up #14..

    anyway, what a meeting of the minds!! I imagine all of them like 10 second tom from 50 first dates..

  21. Monstra

    I’m disturbed by the fingers on the baby’s crotch in EVERY picture.

  22. Irregardless, they make a beautiful and talented team! Congrats on the baby – that’ll make 3 cuties in the family!

  23. jessica?
    Please meet your FAGGOT in law.
    …………..you mean there are more of those MORONS?

  24. Jumpin_J

    My favorite quote about Ashlee in that article: She “will be back better than ever and ready to rock in the future.” YEAH, ROCK ON ASHLEE! KICK ASS! ROCKNROLL FOREVER!!! WHOOOO!!!!

    Um, when exactly did she “rock”? She rocks like Paul friggin Anka.

  25. bob

    It’ll be funny when the baby comes out with a cleft chin. Power of love, indeed.

  26. Drew Hensen

    why are they fingering the poor baby in pictures #5-6??

  27. The Gorgeous One

    Until I saw the main picture today, I never realized how much they looked alike.

  28. PunkA

    I have never seen a girl sport such a dazed, stupid look on her face as often as Ashlee does. She looks lost and confused 24/7, and the bitch is probably sober.

    If stupid had a face, it would wear Ashlee Simpson’s.

  29. sicasso

    Hmmm. That lead picture… I guess lesbians all over California *are* getting married. Wentz has a better make-up person and stylist than Ashlee, even if her (Ashlee’s) chin could kick her (Wentz’s) chin’s ass.

  30. Danklin24

    She’s holding that baby like a bowling ball. Jessica Simpson has the maternal instincts of a cheeto

  31. big teeth

    For the love of freaking Jeebus, will someone please make the Simpson family just go away?? They have nothing to offer anyone, and it’s not even fun to hate them because they are so dry and boring. Bah.. even writing this post is sapping my energy..

  32. I swear these two are nearing puke-inducing spencer/heidi fame whoring level.

  33. An emo married couple in america. How totally and utterly pathetic.And yet sad.

    @ #31 & 32 – Agreed.

    Oh and when the baby comes out, he or she will grow up to be just like his/her parents. Only 1,000,000 more faggier and more emo.

    I fucking hate you,Pete Wentz.

  34. Ashlee Simpson needs to NOT produce anymore children. Itt will not only help the planet and bring LESS emo faggots into the world.

  35. blah blah blah

    Who holds a baby by their CROTCH??!!

    Weird. Poor baby.

  36. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    Why the fuck does Celine Dion have that stupid fugly pink bow on her babies head?

  37. korina_jebediah

    Superfish, you were Super enoying in this post
    but i have to say i had a blast with several comments from the witty visitors,
    or lets just say mean.
    Thank’s Y’all ! !

    (pulls the trigger)

    (twice to make sure)

  38. illflux

    Wow, I can’t put into words how much I hate this guy. Will someone please punch his emo metrosexual face in for me? I would, but he’s not worth going back to prison for.

    And nah, it ain’t jealousy. I hate dumb chicks.

  39. CaravanBoi

    I love Pete. He is such a pretty girl, ashlee must be a proud man to have her by his side, I bet she does that stupid little dance every night when she sticks her ding dong in wentz’s ass.

  40. Acilat

    Is it disturbing that he has better skin then her?

  41. LRonHubbaHubba

    That fat baby looks like a little hooker. Why does her ass-clown “mother” have her out and about in Vegas? People are retarded.

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  44. Heather

    “i have the power of love for you”
    this statement poses a single question ;
    WTF??

  45. YOu people are so stupid!

    Omg you guys are such jerks! Leave them alone! What has pete wentz done that is soo bad that all of you hate him?YOU guys are the ones that are pathetic! I will agree that ashley simpson can have that stupid idiotic look on her face all the time but… its still not right to make fun of them! and how do u know if pete wentz wears make-up (other then on F.O.B) he wears eyelier so wat? You guys just don’t have a life so u pick on anyone you want :P YOur plain stupid!

    P.S make fun of me all you want cause idc ^^

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