Pete Wentz frightened, confused by son’s birth

November 25th, 2008 // 48 Comments

Pete Wentz called into Ryan Seacrest this morning to talk about what it was like seeing the birth of little doomed-for-life Bronx Mowgli. Us Magazine reports:

“Right before she went into labor, I was like, ‘Oh my God, I think I’m having a heart attack!’ Natural things start going on in your body,” Wentz went on. “My heart started beating really fast.”
He explained, “You see your wife in all this pain, and you really don’t know what’s happening.”
But Ashlee “took care of me and made sure I was OK and then we went into labor,” Wentz told Seacrest. “That’s why she’s a saint.

Pete, just FYI, that strange thing you saw is called a “vagina,” and somebody put a baby in Ashlee’s. Now, I don’t know who did it, but if you hop in the back of the Mystery Machine with Shaggy and Scoobs here, I’m pretty sure we can all figure out it was Joe Simpson. Let’s roll!

Photos: Splash News

  1. Randal

    Ashlee is going to make a very good mother and will bring the values in how she was raised to her new and growing family.

    Congratulations to you Pete and to the beautiful mother of your child.


  2. adam

    he sux. first! she’s hott

  3. p911gt10c

    Your wife is going into labour and she’s taking care of you??

    Yeah, you can just go ahead and turn in your balls now. Clearly you have no use for them.

  4. jordan

    wait, since this guys gay, how did he make a kid?

  5. Nietzsche's co-pilot

    Poor little Bronx. With the most boring woman in the world and the sugar-plum-fairy Wentz for parents, he has a hard life ahead.

  6. What a sensitive fellow, ill bet he wanted to share the pain too…

  7. Shep

    So during intense pain, Ashlee had to worry about the birth of her child and taking care of the little girl sobbing in the corner known as her husband……. Wow Pete, way to lower the bar for all those future Fathers out there.

  8. fudge packing company

    he’s used to seeing anuses all the time…

  9. E. Norma Stitz

    Such a sissy boy! But he was a real trooper through all he went through and endured during childbirth!

    Hey Pete! Will you ever man up? (I doubt it)

  10. havoc

    I’m confused why Khloe Kardashian is sitting behind him with a microphone.



  11. Dave the slave

    He’s almost 30 fucking years old and he wears tight hoodies with hearts on them??

  12. AmberDextrose

    Little Grey Riding Turd takes her lollipop out for the cameras.

  13. what the fuck is he wearing?

  14. grobpilot

    I think it’s safe to say that Ashlee is thoroughly confused as to who she should put the diapers on.

  15. Flame Spotting

    LMAO!!!! What’s with that gay-assed shit he’s wearing?

  16. dude

    Sample conversation in their household:

    “Ashlee, I’ve pumped plenty of semen into lots of people, and they never had a baby shoot out!”

    “Pete, those people were all dudes.”

    (giggling uncontrollably) “Oh, fer sure! yeah!”

  17. Sheva

    Can anyone be a bigger pussy? This guy sounds like a 9 year old. A stupid one.

  18. Balls McCoy

    Pete Wentz called Ryan Seacrest… now there’s no denying he’s gay.

  19. Kingsley Amis

    Hell no, he’s a girl.

  20. twzzlrgirl

    Ashlee took care of him. As she was going into labor.

    Good god, I would have smacked the shit out of him, had the baby, and then signed divorce papers before my hospital stay was over.

  21. Mama Pinkus

    that guy is major-league creepy

  22. Kahn Fuzed

    What is it about being in California that makes women lose their minds???

    Britney Spears? She goes nuts and marries Kevin Federline.

    Ashlee Simpson? She goes nuts and marries Dick Wentz.

    And most tragically, Spencer Pratt. She went nuts and married Heidi Montag.

  23. Dandi <>

    He’s so hot!!!

    Superficial needs more hot guys like Pete!

    And yah lol ringing Ryan is hilarious! ;)

  24. Hmmm...

    He is frightened and confused by vaginas too.

  25. phineas q.

    ‘Then we went into labour’

    Congratulations for all that hard work Pete!!!!! Sounds like it was PRETTY HARD FOR YOU BUT YOU PULLED THROUGH.

  26. Alice

    I think he was scared because he didn’t know where babies came from.
    Any way this family is going to exploit this child to dealth.

  27. ummm...yeah

    What a flamin fag he is!
    Who the fuck wears shit like that and claims to be straight?
    We al know that that fuckin kid aint his…that slut had sex with someone else while he crouched in the corner.
    What a fuckin wuss!

  28. chuck

    he always manages to look like he escaped from the zoo

  29. kyley

    He is so fucking gay. Ashlee pretends that she doensn’t know

  30. Danklin24

    Did anyone else read the first couple line of what Pete said and in your head had a gayest voice ever saying it? Yeah, me too. I seriously dont think it’s Ashlee who possesses the vagina in this relationship.

  31. Danklin24

    Also, for the love of God Pete, at least try to dress like a man. Jesus, you look like a fucking 12 year old boy in that picture. Samantha Ronson called, she wants her job back!

  32. Khan Fuzed


    NASA can spot that flamer from orbit. If the bitch doesn’t know he’s gay, she needs to take her gaydar in for servicing.

  33. weirdo

    God I’d just love to smash this fucking queers face in with a sledgehammer, He’s such a goddamn wanker! How old is he anyway to dress like such a fag. Grow up.

  34. Kristin

    FINALLY! A post that’s actually fucking funny. I was beginning to think this new writer’s a complete fucking moron.

  35. Lucifer

    He is a humorous guy, many friends like to chat with him online at ***INTERRACIALLOVING.COM***. He often told us some funny jokes. Seems he is famous on that site, especially some HOT and SEXY women talk with him positively.

  36. Clem

    “we” went into labor? I suppose that “we” were pregnant too.
    What a bender.

  37. Jeezy


  38. Dandi <>

    Jeezy — That “FAG” tapped a hotter girl than your homophobic arse could ever hope to get close to. Jealous much? :)

  39. Tom

    Gray, tight hoodie with a heart on it…scarf around his neck….could this guy be more of a fag?!!

  40. Tom

    P.S. Why nothing on here about the Speidi nuptials? I figured fish would be all over it!

  41. Matt

    Good god, poor kid. Pete as a father worries the hell out of me, plus the Simpson father is going to try to milk that kid for every penny he is worth.

    I like how Pete is making it seem like he is the one going through the process… it was even better when they interviewed him on TRL about having the kid soon and he was more concerned about watching and talking about the Twilight bootleg 70 times

  42. Tom K

    Pete Wentz is such a joke and so is Ashlee Simpson! Who fucking names there kid Bronx

  43. Tom K

    Pete Wentz is such a joke and so is Ashlee Simpson! Who fucking names there kid Bronx?

  44. onlocash

    She wears the strap on in this relationship

  45. equality for trannies

    Have some compassion! Pete is a girl trapped in a 12 year old boys body. How would you feel? So what if he’s a tranny, he has the mind of a child and deserves the same dignity as everyone else even though he acts feminine and gay. Give the girly guy a break.

  46. Master of The Obvious

    Bronx Mowgli Wentz, frightened, confused by father’s existence

  47. Oh,what is he doing?

Leave A Comment