Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson are clowns

July 10th, 2007 // 107 Comments

Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz claims to have quit drinking, and was seen only downing Fuji water during Saturday night’s dinner at the Stereo House in Water Mill. However, later at the Hpnotiq party at Dune he was seen drinking from a Perrier bottle his girlfriend Ashlee Simpson had filled with champagne. The NY Daily News reports:

Later as he manned the turntables at the Hpnotiq party at Dune in Southampton, girlfriend Ashlee Simpson decanted Veuve Clicquot into an empty Perrier bottle for him. As Wentz sipped in the deejay booth, a fellow emcee announced, “Look at our man Wentz. He’s drinking Perrier; that’s all he drinks.”

What kind of clown person announces that they’re drinking Perrier? Is it to let all the people who hadn’t seen his face yet know he’s an ass? I’m surprised he didn’t tie a sweater around his neck and then invite everybody to tee off at some country club he doesn’t belong to. I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure it’s 100% legal for you to stab this guy in the face. You’d probably even get a medal or something.

Photos: Splash

  1. T-Dub

    first biznatch

  2. maeby

    How is this newsworthy? They have always been inept,and socially retarded. Anything that they do anymore is really just a preamble to them becoming 2-d caricatures of themselves.

  3. Pete Wentz is a major douche. How is he getting girls at all? I get the Ashlee isn’t exactly a catch the cartoonish teeth are just too much. I just can’t stand him. Hopefully we’re on 14:59 of his 15 minutes.

  4. wedgeone

    At least Ashlee doesn’t have to worry about vaginal chafing.

  5. TheRage

    i’m just glad she’s holding her dress shut so we don’t have to look at her snatch.

  6. iburl

    Perrier makes a great douche too, just like Pete Wentz.

  7. Jack

    We’re already looking at her shaved snatch, she just calls it a chin

  8. Shinanigans

    i think his shirts on sideways

  9. zippysweetcheeks

    Ashlee Simpson looks like a younger version of Drew Berrymore

  10. S

    Ashlee needs to wash her hair.

  11. Actually, you’d get 2 medals.

  12. way to be an enabler, ashlee. why don’t you bring some mcdonalds to a fat camp or some aerosol to the ozone layer.

  13. lalaland


  14. hotyute

    The gayest thing since Clay, hand to god. He is such a pussy, just look at it (don’t… stare…at…it…too…long…u…might want…to…rape…it) oh dear, u’r humping ur pc screen aren’t u? :(

  15. TS

    I said it before, I’ll say it again. If you say FIRST, you are a DORK. There is simply no way around it. Period. End of discussion. In fact, you might be a dork by virtue of being the first one actually to comment, let alone telling everyone that you are FIRST. I haven’t decided on that yet. Just remember: FIRST=DORK.

  16. Harold

    I don’t think they have sex, at least not the two of them alone. Peteyboy, being an emo, lies down and licks Ashlee for hours, while Jessica sneaks in and pounds him up the ass. Eventually Papa Joe puts the camera down, opens the closet door, and slides his cock down Ashlee’s throat.

    God, I’m so fuckin hard right now.

  17. suckit TS

    Actually, the first thing is kinda funny. What’s weird is when people get all pissy over it. In other words, shut up.

  18. HankTheDwarf



  19. BaldAsBritney

    I can only hope these two are working on a duet as we speak.

    if there is a god, that is.

  20. combustion8

    what a douschie looking ape face.. I nominate him as the ‘Dousche of the Universe’ … his band sucks also.

  21. TS

    PLEASE tell me how it’s even remotely funny. Because it’s about as funny as saying that the Los Angeles Dodgers wear blue hats. Now you’re a dork too. Suck on that dork.

  22. charm

    I drink too if I had to spend any amount of time with ashlee simpson. god she’s annoying.

  23. Papa Joe

    We should have charged royalties. He first got the idea for calling his band “Fall Out Boy” when he accidentally went into Jessica’s bedroom and saw her taking off her pants.

  24. leelee

    So when did drinking Perrier become pretentious?

    What’s more deserving of a rant is the fact that Ashlee Olsen– sorry SIMPSON– is sneaking her alcoholic boyfriend booze. charming.

  25. That’s funny. I usually drink water and pretend it’s vodka. That way when I trip I can blame it on the booze….

  26. I trip a lot. I’m clumsy.

  27. Plus I drink a LOT of vodka

  28. Hey #15, I’m FRIST!!! So I must be a DROK!!!

  29. lambman

    They deserve eachother.

  30. Quinn

    I thought he was gay!? I’ve been living under a rock.
    She should get a girlfriend of the year award for that display of support.
    If they procreate… dear gawd i don’t even want to imagine.

  31. mrs.t

    “Can I get an order of Shame and Silliness to go with my Perrier? Wait-forget it, I brought my own.”

  32. mrs.t

    “Look at our man Wentz, rocking the Bumble & Bumble pomade in his perfectly styled coiffe!” Then visit his website @

  33. miss oblivious

    Ashley got plastic surgery and then ends up with someone that looks like that?! I’m sorry, but the mofo is fugly as hell (and looks like he would be into boys, not girls). Ashley, on the other hand, sure got prettier since she had her nose wittled down.

  34. Chauncey Gardner

    If these two pinheads reproduce, the music industry will never recover. Looks like I’m going to have to step in and fuck Ashley pregnant and save the future.

  35. I think I’d rather have the guy for dinner instead of the girl. She looks terrible and he looks hot. He is so cute.

  36. TS

    You’re only a dork if you check in every 2 seconds to bee if you are the first, just so you can say you are first. Other that that, you’re just a wise ass. But I am the first to admit that I am a wise ass so you are alright in my book.

  37. Guess Who!!!!

    Hey FRIST!!!

  38. Hill

    Oh my god, #6 freaking hilarious

  39. Blow Me Hard Bitch

    Damn…. looks like she’s walking kinda bow-legged…. that scuzzbag she’s with must be plowing her field with a mule dick.

  40. mrs.t

    @ 36- where are all your zzzzzz’s kelli?

  41. mrs.t

    Also, the word ‘definitely’ does not contain the letter ‘a’.

    But the word ‘dumbass’ does.

  42. Bill Clinton


    So does fucktard. As in “Kelli is a fucktard.”

  43. Jimbo

    You are ruthless Mrs T:)

  44. I think it’s legal to stab anyone who dates a Simpson sister in the face – her name ends with a “ee,” for the love of fuck.

    Someone named her that ON PURPOSE!

    Double “e” should be reserved for strippers and Mexican cartoon characters.

    Jesus Christ.

  45. Bill Clinton


    OMG! That explains the Nicole Brown Simpson murder!!!

    OJ got confused and offed the wrong Simpson!

  46. Bill Clinton

    I live in bizzaro world. That’s why ya kill Simpsons and not the freaks they date. You gotta stop ‘em from breeding.

  47. Miserable Bastard

    When Ashlee Simpson speaks, can you hear the words before her mouth moves?

  48. justifiable

    Decanted Veuve Clicquot into a Perrier bottle? Well, good luck with that mess. If they had any brains they’d just uncork a bottle of Perrier Jouet – it IS Perrier, right?

  49. star69

    He’s a fake and he’s a dating a fake. Fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake.

    Oh did I mention they were both fake?
    Fukin fakes!

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