Pete Doherty steals cars, goes free

January 15th, 2007 // 59 Comments

Just days after trying to smash a guitar over a photographer’s face, Pete Doherty was arrested and released over the weekend after being spotted in a car that was reported stolen. The arrest came when he fled from police just hours after telling fans at a gig, “I’m never getting married. I don’t believe in it. Kate and I are in love – I worship her – but we’re not going down the aisle. I’m happy the way it is.”

Pete Doherty is like the damn Hamburgler. For some reason because he has an oblong head nobody seems to care when he steals cars or tries to murder people with his guitar. Instead he gets a slap on the wrist, everybody has a good chuckle, and then he’s set free to pull off his next mini caper. I’m always surprised to see pictures of him as a real person, because I always think he’ll photograph as a 2D cartoon character.


  1. downshine

    haha. first

  2. danielle


  3. Um, what has this guy done (except Kate Moss) that makes him worthy of attention?

  4. Mick

    I love Kate, I wish she would get rid of this guy. She should of married Jefferson Hack.
    Plus when Pete says something you should pretty much know that the opposite is true, So he most likely is planning to marry Kate and is thinking he’s being smart by stating the opposite.

  5. misanthrope

    @4… What happened with that whole deal? I know it was eons ago, but just curious. Did Jefferson leave her? I’m not pro-Kate as much as I am anti-Pete.

  6. Lowlands

    Kiddies,this is what you get when you’re all day drugged up and believe you’re a celebrity.Luckily he has a very supportive girlfriend…

  7. Kristin

    Whata loser.

  8. karifarrell

    #1 Hey DownSyndrome, was that the highlight of your day? That you were first? Because nobody gives a shit. Really.

    Now about Petie….how does he keep getting away with these things? I want to move to England, where you can get as fucked up as you want and punch nurses in the face and steal cars, and all you get is a cross look from the judge as he wags his finger at you.

  9. Look at him. I think he may be one of the Gorillaz.

  10. Pointandlaugh

    Who the F is pete doherty?

    He looks like a real winner

  11. misanthrope

    Maybe Kate has to ‘settle’ things for him? Maybe that’s how he gets off? So to speak.

  12. Lowlands

    (8)”Cross”look,that’s a good one!We all know what those judges do in their spare-time…

  13. Hasn’t this guy died yet?

    poshy’s L.A. party plans at crabbie’s:

  14. GothamGuy

    Find God, Pete. Better to worship Him than to kneel down at the altar of the saggy B-cups.

  15. jrzmommy

    “telling fans at a gig”
    that’s rock and roll talk for the 8 pigeons he pissed on in the park.

  16. Lowlands

    Does Kate have saggy titties?Pete probarly doesn’t know.He’s all day drugged up.He probarly thinks she’s prince Charles or something.

  17. libtard

    When I grow up I want to be Pete Doherty. Drugs, drugs, drugs with no consequenceses; supermodel supporting me. No responsbility.

    Pete Doherty, you are my hero!!!

  18. Naid

    He looks like he has downsyndrome. Perhaps he was the tragic accident of parents just like himself and kate

  19. artie_lange's_liver

    Seriously, who is this guy?

  20. NipsyHustle

    #17 but there are consequences such as his rotten dilapidated mouth. and the supermodel he’s clamining is a saggy used up coke whore that needs the power of photoshop to have a career. she hasn’t been “super” since johnny threw her away. plus this asshat has two kids ( he doesn’t see or support) who will likely grow up to be convicted felons and dangers to society because their dad doesn’t know want to grow up. awesome hero.

  21. PooPants

    He looks a bit like the acclaimed hunchback guitarist John Mayer.

  22. 86

    The only place I hear of this guy is on this site.

  23. tits_on_snack

    Why is this ridiculously ugly buffoon still living and breathing and dating supermodels instead of lying in a stainless steel cadaver pan and having chunks of his own drug-overdose-induced vomit removed from his trachea.

    I bet his breath smells like the stumps of rotting teeth and dogshit mixed with beer-puke.

  24. 86

    …but he’s so rock n’ roll.

  25. whitegold

    Hahaha, that oblong face comment and thinking of him as a cartoon and thus letting him get away with whatever, that actually had me laugh out loud.

    So at first I’m thinking, “oh man, i must really be losing touch with celebrity status these days, cuz i have no clue who this guy is supposed to be.” Glad to hear I’m not at all alone in that opinion!

  26. HughJorganthethird

    This is the British version of a bad ass rocker? That’s just fucking sad. I’ve passed shits badder than this pussy.

  27. hermione_q

    I don’t think Pete could be the Hamburgler. Kate Moss wouldn’t get involved with anything linked to greasy fast food.

  28. BarbadoSlim

    There’s only one headline I care too read about Petey here and it has to have the following: roving gang, dentists, stabbed, sharpened, toothbrushes.

  29. RichPort

    Pete Doherty makes enough bad music to render country music and Celine Dion irrelevant.

    Gee, I wish HELLpenis was here to keep us all on the straight and narrow… someone stop me before I kill again…

  30. RussianMafia

    Supposedly he has incredible charisma that draws people in. Everyone around him is addicted to his, ahem, charisma

  31. NipsyHustle

    there might just be a use for pete yet. his breath is so foul it could be used to interrogate terrorists, like a truth serum. imagine his mouth taped to your nose breathing out all that rotten air in your lungs. god, you’d tell your life story and then some to escape that fate.

  32. Crack is whack.

  33. amelie3007

    I think Pete Doherty is an incredibly talented musician, but his penchant for drugs could stem from schizophrenia. He was really brilliant as a kid, he was even accepted into Oxford…he’s just gotten on the wrong side of the tracks BIG TIME…and Kate and him definitely both have very destructive personalities.

  34. amelie3007

    I think Pete Doherty is an incredibly talented musician, but his penchant for drugs could stem from schizophrenia. He was really brilliant as a kid, he was even accepted into Oxford…he’s just gotten on the wrong side of the tracks BIG TIME…and Kate and him definitely both have very destructive personalities.

  35. dreamhypnotique

    #19 — Pete Doherty is formerly a member of the British rock group called The Libertines, and he got kicked out of the band for his drug problems. The band has always sucked, with or without him.

    He thinks he’s this “just don’t give a f—” paradigm of the rockstar hipster, but he’s really just an annoying, disgraceful poseur like what must be 90% of all hipsters anyway.

  36. Mick

    # 5 it was reposted that kate and jefferson split because kate never wanted to get married. They still remain really good friends regardless. Maybe she will wise up one day.
    I know I will most likely get ripped for this but I like kate moss and find her to be the best model ever in my opinion. I don’t care if her boobs are small with big nipples and she has some stretch marks. She’s more real than manly gisele.

  37. And “irrelevant” is such a cool word.

    The fact that I love nothing more than hours of lubeless butt sex, followed by seemingly endless felch and snowball sessions, is “irrelevant”.

    The fact that I am completely devoid of humor, and entirely narcissistic, is “irrelevant”.

    ‘Cause that’s just how I roll, …

  38. aurealis

    This dude is hillarious! He’s like England’s Bobby Brown. He did to Kate Moss what Bobby did to Whitney. They just need to sell their adventures to VH1.

  39. XeoRad

    Who is this guy? I have never heard of him. Call me retarded, but I honestly have no clue as to who he is. He kinda looks like a dude who wanted to be the lightman for our high school band – totally strung out on crank. He made his own lighting with masking tape and light switches – shit blew up and started on fire when we were auditioning to play at the bowling alley – we kicked his ass out behind the building – this has to be him, but a bit less human DNA involved. Reading up, he is the guy who is dating the chick with flesh-eating bacteria on her tits, right?

  40. Cocaine_Nosejob

    Pete Doherty is a musical god! The Libertines and BabyShambles were the best bands out of England in a long long time. He is very breathtakingly stunning and he lives his life, He is as close to perfection as you’ll find. Kate Moss is very lucky, She does NOT deserve him. What would you jealous cunts know though he’s not a stupid freckley red head bitch or a trailer trash slut with ugly kids, So no need for you to pay attention. It’s okay though kids, Ignorance is bliss.

  41. heyheyhey

    40–yeah, he is “very breathtakingly stunning”, as well as magnificently amazing cool and tremendously super duper talented hotsmart.

    shut up.

    i still don’t know who he is, and he sucks.

  42. RichPort

    #37 – My apologies for challenging your middle school education. It must really take a lot out of you to ride my anonymous dick so often. I would say your co-workers must hate you, but that would be assuming my tax dollars didn’t subsidize your existance. I must feel real fishy and stinky to be such a fucking pussy.

  43. HughJorganthethird

    “Pete Doherty is a musical god! The Libertines and BabyShambles were the best bands out of England in a long long time.”

    Thats too funny for words.

  44. jrzmommy

    Pete Doherty looks like an elf–a very mean, pale, angry elf– mated with a cancer cell.

  45. PrettyBaby

    This guy is unbelievable! He is always doing something stupid or destructive for attention. Just unreal.. This guy would shrivel up and die without attention.

  46. First of all let me state that this post is NOT bagging on England. I love the place and think my friends from there are great….

    HOWEVER, I will say that this could be an example of why places like London now have much higher crime rates, theft, assault, destruction of property than any major or even medium sized city in the U.S. The courts really don’t seem to take those crimes seriously and this is just another example of that. This guy should have been locked away long ago if he keeps pulling this shit.

    Oh, don’t get TOO cocky Londoners, America still beats you for shootings! whoo Hoo Go USA!

  47. This guy partied with my friend one time and tried to suck his___________


  48. Toychainsaw

    The guy looks so pain in sickly .. it’s almost like he’s trying to impersonate “El Kabong”. (Remember .. the white hanna barbara horse .. who was kinda like zorro .. with a gutair he’d hit people with? coz you see .. the .. similarities .. and it’s funny because pete sucks.)

    The end.

  49. amelie3007

    #48 that’s hilarious and even more accurate than you think…did you see that picture of pete doherty wearing a zorro mask for halloween??

  50. cindylouwho

    in my opinion this is nothing new. pete has done alot more destruction. i actually heart pete! he is very talented and has a great voice..(listen to the libertines or babyshambles) this is just an ordinary british rock star on drugs..just like any other. kate moss seems to be in love with deal with it! i hope they do get married!

    and for those that keep asking “who is this guy” ..dont bother asking..just keep listening to your jigga,jigga music that sucks! ;]

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