Pete Doherty has been busy buying old Jaguars, parking them illegally and then buying replacements when they get towed away. He’s now gone through eight Jags in as many weeks, according to the Daily Mirror. Doherty generally chooses cars that cost less than $2,000. When his last was towed, he went straight to his favorite vintage Jag dealer, quickly found a gray sedan he liked, slapped down the cash and drove off.
It’s increasingly obvious that he and Whitney Houston have to get together, sort of like the crackhead version of the Highlander. Except instead of fighting, they’ll root through old garbage and puke on each other.
Jacq | March 30, 2006 at 10:43 am
He doesn’t care about the $2,000 car, but what about the $15,000 of smack in the trunk? Junkie. Take a shower.
Blaze | March 30, 2006 at 10:48 am
WHO?
snark | March 30, 2006 at 10:51 am
I really don’t care about this guy.
Grphdesi23 | March 30, 2006 at 11:00 am
Shouldn’t he be dead by now? Seriously.
prideofchucky | March 30, 2006 at 11:02 am
FUCK HIGHLANDER!
With this storyline I wanna see Pete & Whitney in a crackhead version of “Dude, Where’s My Car?”
Kevin | March 30, 2006 at 11:04 am
Once again… Who the hell is this guy and why should I give a toss what he does?
aimatcha | March 30, 2006 at 11:05 am
Night of the Living Dead meets Dude Where’s My Car?
Spindoc | March 30, 2006 at 11:06 am
Any takers? I bet this guy dies before Whitney.
jagbag | March 30, 2006 at 11:13 am
seriously, who the hell is he? I know he dated kate moss, but did he do anything else…
krisdylee | March 30, 2006 at 11:16 am
he looks like a creepy male version of Helena Bonahm Carter on crack.
prideofchucky | March 30, 2006 at 11:22 am
Posted by aimatcha:
“Night of the Living Dead meets Dude Where’s My Car?”
Not bad, not bad. How ’bout “DRIVING MISS DAISY meets RED ASPHALT”?
Italian Stallion | March 30, 2006 at 11:23 am
Hey Pete, pucker up, here comes the crack pipe airplane, good boy……..
Ok, now one more and you can get back to making out with Whitney…..
Good boy……
PapaHotNuts | March 30, 2006 at 11:37 am
For anyone not knowing who he is, he played the lead role of “The Toilet” in my independant film titled, “Jesus Christ, I Just Took a Huge Shit.”
He really was good.
UNWASHEDMASSES | March 30, 2006 at 11:57 am
Pete’s on the Back-Alley-Crack-Whore installment plan. He blows his cash in ridiculous ways so he can later blow dudes in ridiculous ways (see Whitney Houston, another happy Back-Alley-Crack Whore customer).
quibbles_quaint | March 30, 2006 at 12:07 pm
where does he get the money to fuel (I’m so punny) this car addiction? I can scarcely afford to buy gas and I don’t spend nearly as much as he does on smack.
edb87 | March 30, 2006 at 12:08 pm
WHO?
Seriously before comming here I’d never heard of the clown.
Spindoc | March 30, 2006 at 12:25 pm
He was in a group in England called “The Libertines” that had a few hits and were really the darling of the critics over there. He got booted because he couldn’t get along with the other founder of the band and he formed a band called “Babyshambles” that has had a few singles out and does occaisional gigs. The critics still like him and he has been known to shoot up in the middle of interviews.
gogoboots | March 30, 2006 at 12:38 pm
Wow, what a mess! Him and Whitney are meant for each other for reals!
horriblecherry | March 30, 2006 at 12:42 pm
He’s mildly amusing but i wouldn’t say he’s that important to the music industry. I’m just thankful that he has split with Kate now because I was getting sick of the news coverage of the two of them getting back together. Seriously. On the front page they had a pic of them in the same car, as if it were important.
gogoboots | March 30, 2006 at 12:46 pm
I actually love the whole thing of him parking the jags illegally, them getting towed and him buying new ones and doing it over and over again. I bet it’s comforting to him, some sort of routine to follow in his drug induced haze. He really is quite cracked, I always find him endlessly amusing, he looks like a troll and the poster child for drug abuse.
CDob | March 30, 2006 at 1:50 pm
I could give two poops about this guy. No one heard of him until we found out he was Kate Moss’s partner in coke-fueled crime. So let’s get this straight. We find out Kate is a coke fiend…not only does it HELP her career, but it boosts the “career” of her walking cadaver boyfriend? I hate Hollywood.
Lala | March 30, 2006 at 1:59 pm
He must have been Mahatma Gandhi in his past life.
that-dog-is-shifty-eyed | March 30, 2006 at 2:22 pm
The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that’s the way of the English.
bjpack | March 30, 2006 at 2:29 pm
That once happened to me but it was 8 pens in as many weeks. Then I bought a nice pen holder that I used consistently and never lost another pen. I guess that may not work for P-Doh.
gavrilloprincip | March 30, 2006 at 2:36 pm
number 17
“he got booted out because he couldn’t get along with the other founder.” Hmm, I think it may have had more to do with the fact that he burgled said founders’ house for crack money! I think that just may have been the final nail in the Libertines coffin.
I am from Britain, and I think British people are getting as fed up as Americans with Pete Doherty still being famous for nothing.(I am counting his band Babyshambles as nothing here, which I think is being pretty kind).
monkeywithnoeyes | March 30, 2006 at 2:43 pm
How he can afford to keep buying jags and still be this super cool rock’n roll junkie i don’t know. He wants to become the next cobain/morrison/hedrix only he’s got no classics to leave behind, he’s at that age too, 27, so i bet all his investers have nice little grins on there face as he’s sure to die soon and make them aload of money so they can start buying jags too
gavrilloprincip | March 30, 2006 at 2:46 pm
number 17
“he got booted out because he couldn’t get along with the other founder.” Hmm, I think it may have had more to do with the fact that he burgled said founders’ house for crack money! I think that just may have been the final nail in the Libertines coffin.
I am from Britain, and I think British people are getting as fed up as Americans with Pete Doherty still being famous for nothing.(I am counting his band Babyshambles as nothing here, which I think is being pretty kind).
Cratylus | March 30, 2006 at 3:29 pm
Who in the hell is Pete Doherty?
Spindoc | March 30, 2006 at 3:35 pm
#25 (gavrilloprincip) lol well yeah, I assume thats why they don’t get along. lol
As for the person who asked how he can afford to keep buying Jags, these are old Jags in the UK, the story said they all seemed to be under $2,000 or $3,000.
I’m really glad to hear that the British are getting sick of thise guy too, He seems kind of like Paris Hilton but with more talent and less STD’s
reptilicus | March 30, 2006 at 3:35 pm
I love it when people don’t read the other comments and then ask “Who is ________ ???!!!!!!”
or are too lazy to do a google search themselves.
Spindoc | March 30, 2006 at 3:36 pm
Hmm, it looks like my post didn’t go through, I hope it doesn’t show up twice.
Spindoc | March 30, 2006 at 3:40 pm
NEver mind, there it is.
Conductor71 | March 30, 2006 at 3:44 pm
Pete Doherty is a fool to himself, but to be fair he is talented. Its easy to see why people hate him but when he started out he was a very promising cross between Ray Davies and Morrisey, who have both sung his praises. Sadly, he has deteriorated into a Sid Vicious clone. Ironically the only people willing to stick up for him are the old school legends (Paul Simonon/Mick Jones of The Clash, Morrissey, Elton John, Roger Daltrey, John Lydon etc)so he must have SOMETHING going for him. They probably recognise their own wayward spirit in him. After all, Keith Richards/Ozzy/Iggy etc were in a much worse state in the 70s and people consider them legends for it now. I’m not expecting anyone to agree with this post by the way!!! ;o)
tits_on_snack | March 30, 2006 at 4:42 pm
Oh my god, is anyone else as sick of this fucking fuckface and his stupid ugly smug-ass fucking face as i am?
I’ve never even heard of his shitty “band” or any of their songs, his only claim to fame is boning a cokehead who doesn’t even know where her own child is.
I can’t believe I even saw his stupid ugly face on the news last week – who cares about this ugly untalented little pathetic druggie troll! Talk about romanticizing the junkie lifestyle – is the twitchy crack whore prostitute i see walking down my sidewalk at night the next big celebrity too? How about the homeless man sleeping in the dumpster and smoking used cigarette butts? Should I expect to see him on Conan tonight?
Can we quit glorifying this fucking loser, please?
Kevin | March 30, 2006 at 4:45 pm
Hey #30,
I *did* google this loser and I still ask, “Who?”
Maybe a better question should be “Why?” As in Why the hell should I care about this guy? A loser singer of insignificant bands and the guy who buys Kate Moss her drugs. Big Fucking Deal!
Grphdesi23 | March 30, 2006 at 4:51 pm
I would n-e-v-e-r hit it!
sirokai | March 30, 2006 at 5:18 pm
What the story did not mention is that Pete keeps parking his car in the same illegal spot. Which is probably the center of an intersection or something.
The tow truck just waits nearby, picks up the car, and takes it to the vintage Jag dealer. The Jag dealer buys the car off the police and then sells it back to Pete. At this point he has made a little less that 16k off this one car, and Pete is too cracked up to realize it.
And you know why Pete is doing all this? He thinks it’s just valet parking.
PapaHotNuts | March 30, 2006 at 5:28 pm
#37 is fucking hilarious.
suzy | March 30, 2006 at 5:48 pm
i still have no idea who the hell he is
reptilicus | March 30, 2006 at 5:58 pm
hah hah. wow, this guy actually has two kids.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Doherty
tonguepunch | March 30, 2006 at 6:01 pm
Meh. Just another hedonistic rocker and for those who don’t know who he is you’ve obviously been listening to Whitney Houston way too fucken long.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | March 30, 2006 at 6:14 pm
More evidence that English people have cute mannerisms – and they’re handsome!
boobtube | March 31, 2006 at 1:17 am
is this guy the singer of green day? no wait, thats billy something. who the hell is pete doherty?
domino | March 31, 2006 at 2:14 am
#27 – ditto. Although, I much prefer the way his shenanigans are reported in the US press than over here in the Pun and the Mirror et al.
staticbumblebee | March 31, 2006 at 2:38 am
i thought the same, what with the Sid comparison.
CheekyChops | March 31, 2006 at 5:50 am
He’s big in the UK.
TaiTai | March 31, 2006 at 6:18 am
#33 surprise, I agree with you! Sad waste of talent. He really did start out to be quite promising.
Alucard | March 31, 2006 at 8:17 am
Listen to one of his songs before saying he’s untalented.
hijo de Putte | March 31, 2006 at 8:47 am
You ignorant mf:s listen to his music!
Conductor71 | March 31, 2006 at 9:18 am
“Up the bracket”, “Time for Heroes”, “F**k forever” etc are fantastic records and make people like Hard-Fi and Kaiser Chiefs just look silly, which they are!!