Perez Hilton’s birthday looks entirely legal

March 29th, 2010 // 85 Comments

RECORD EXEC.: Justin, you’ve experienced unparalleled success for a boy your age. There isn’t a kid under 14 who doesn’t know your music. But with great success there’s always a price.
JUSTIN: Mom, what’s he talking about? Who’s that guy in the gold suit?
MOM: Be strong, honey.
JUSTIN: Mom, what’s happening? Mom, where are you going? MOMMM!
RECORD EXEC.: Happy Birthday, Mr. Hilton.
PEREZ: Leave the White-Out on the table.

Photos: Splash News

  1. JesseJimmy

    I assume Perez invited Justin Bieber so Perez wouldn’t be the gayest looking guy there.

  2. blt

    Justin looks so awkward and uncomfortable. I don’t think that was what he had in mind for his first sexual experience….

  3. Muahaha!!!

    First you Bitch-Ass, Crip-Ass, Trick-Ass, Crooked-Ass, Fat-Ass, Punk-Ass Hoes!!!!

  4. sad face

    justin is gay.

  5. Ego

    Lindsay and Katie look good…. I’ll have to remember to invite them to my birthday party. I’m sure Lindsay will be available.

  6. The Listener

    Katy Perry looks cute.

    Lindsay looks like she’s under the influence of something in photo #14.

  7. Aghast

    Just what the world needs: a gold lame tool

  8. AnnaDraconida

    Whoa Perez lost a lot of weight… Still looks like a piece of gilded shit, though.

  9. Georgeo

    What’s with all these celeb kids today and their little faggy emo helmet head haircuts?

  10. nastyjay

    ahh lindsay… wont u be my fuck doll…

  11. AteIsEnough

    This person is one creepy looking mo-fo!!

  12. Gweb

    He looks like a Wonka Bar.

  13. It’s bad enough that that piece of shit (Perez Hilton) promotes himself and his lame-ass projects, etc., on his own piece of shit site. Now YOU guys are giving him attention. WTF?

  14. Jimmy

    LiLo’s making every attempt to pose, look poised, but in her pathetic brain, all she keeps hearing herself say is “where’s the nose candy, need a drink, can’t wait to get polluted, falling down drunk, yes, it’s all mine, snorting away very soon.”

  15. TheTruth

    Who the hell let him near a child?

  16. pimp

    who’s the fag…the one in the black vest?

  17. arealcad

    @5 and others –

    Lindsey is available to pop out of a cake at your birthday party – and then blow out your candle – all for the low price of $20,000. Transportation not included.

    The only drawback – you’re stuck with her for 24 hours.

  18. pimp

    katy has some amazing tits..i would love to break the spokes on that asshole…

  19. bettybaby

    “I assume Perez invited Justin Bieber so Perez wouldn’t be the gayest looking guy there.”


    more likely he did it so he could pretend zac efron was at his party LMFAO

  20. la*

    I don’t get what the white-out is for?? Its Monday, talk to me like I’m Lindsay Lohan.

  21. Dr. Scholls

    Makes me wanna sniff coke off my feet

  22. Dang

    OMG!!!! It’s Randall!!!

  23. Gueibor

    @3 (Wait for it…) HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAAHHA HAHAHAHA HAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Thank you for failing so hard at failing in failure.

  24. Joe

    Most of the Hilton site is devoted to GaGa, so where is she?

  25. Pernacchia

    What a dildo.

  26. Gueibor

    @25 She’s hiding under Perry’s left boob.

  27. Golmember

    Can I paint your yoo-hoo golllld?

  28. holls

    ew ewe we w ew eeweweweweweweweewwe

  29. holls

    ew ewe we w ew eeweweweweweweweewwe

  30. Giorgio!

    Lindsay Lohan and Katy Perry look pretty hot everyone else looks hideous, especially that little 5 year old girl, Justine!

  31. STFUP

    Perez is such a loser. He’s also the World’s biggest hypocrite. He’s always criticizing people for being ‘fame whores’, but he’s the biggest famewhore on the planet!
    He’s, quite literally, begging for work/recognition/relevance/etc. In many of his posts.

  32. TekMoney

    This is scary. A couple of years ago Perez (please don’t call Chris Hansen on me) Hilton was preying on the youngest of the Jonas brothers (I don’t know their names, so don’t ask) and now this…?

    … oh well, at least Katy looked hot. More please! xD

  33. Sport

    I just realized half the time he looks like Colin Cowherd (ESPN.)

  34. flabergast

    Is the only reason this guy is famous is for being queer and a complete douchebag?

  35. Tn

    Perez reminds me of any useless contestant on Project Runway. Please go away.

  36. ashley

    omg justin bieber is so hot i know his cell #

  37. Poop

    @ Ashley…shouldn’t you be doing homework…a little young to be on this site…..

  38. jen

    does anyone else think lindsay’s jaw looks different?… I bet she’ll become one of those old ladies who’s had so much plastic surgery she looks hilarious and nothing like herself

  39. mikka

    two words about Justin —- mackulay culkin
    he used to be cute ..

    maybe in a few years Justin will change for better or worse.. for ex.

    joy of the new kids
    Justin — Nsync
    Gary Coleman?


  40. MarioSucks

    Perez is a pedophile and it is ridiculous Justin Beiber was there. His parents should be locked up if they allowed that.

  41. Whiteout

    @ 21

    Source Urban

    “The fluid with a strong odor, to some to get high off of, usually amongst young people ranging from the ages of 9-16 that cannot come in contact to drugs or some sort of tobacco product”

  42. Mr. Nice Guy

    Love Katy!

  43. Rough=advacate to the save Lilo campaign

    Who’s the chick, with Perez in the first Photo?

  44. Monki

    Why does every single teenage boy have the exact same stupid haircut?

  45. Monki

    Why does every single teenage boy have the exact same stupid haircut?

  46. Gross Perez

    Gross. And what a lousy slide show.

  47. Irene Barcelo

    I would not let my child anywhere near Perez!

  48. @NumberOne

    @#1 Full of win my friend.

    I hate Canada so much for ever allowing him to come to America. Then again if I were them I would have done anything to get rid of him as well. They could have just shipped him to the Philippines or Siberia though.

  49. saywha?

    where is chris hanson when you need him? perez hilton’s pedophiliac obsession with justin bieber is really troubling. the very fact that his parents let him go to this event either proves that they’re bad parents or that justin is in fact a homosexual.

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