People you don’t care about do spousal things

August 15th, 2006 // 65 Comments
kate-hudson-ryder.jpg

Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson have separated after nearly six years of marriage. When asked why, Kate Hudson replied: ” Where are my power crystals? I’m fucking crazy!”

Brad Garrett and Jill Diven secretly divorced a year ago after seven years of marriage, not even telling his coworkers or his parents. Most likely for fear they’d chase him into the mountains with pitchforks. Get it? Because he’s a huge. Like some horrible ogre.

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards announced yesterday that they’ve reached an amicable resolution to their divorce case, though no other details were revealed. Except for one: I can rip a ninja in half with my bare hands.

NOTE: Despite being insane, that’s the cutest picture of Kate Hudson ever. She might as well be a puppy playing with some kittens. Although I can’t say I agree with the hairstyle she’s chosen for her son.

superficial

  1. hendero

    Wow, so marrying a pot smoking has-been rocker when you’re 21 turned out to be a bad move. I for one am shocked.

  2. pinky_nip

    Sorta looks like a mini-Joe Dirt.

  3. combustion8

    kate may have nothing upstairs but at least shes got a nice ass.

  4. ESQ

    That is a shame for Kate Hudson…Brad Garrett ummmm who cares…Charlie and Denise does anyone care..lets move on.

  5. Astriastar

    Son?!?!? Wow. I really didn’t see that coming. I think on some level I knew she had a son, but I just kept thinking, “man, that little girl is really cute, in a goofy way.”
    That poor, poor boy is going to be scarred for life. It’s almost like she was really, really hoping for a daughter but got him instead and just said, “fuck it.”

  6. jrzmommy

    So it took six years for her to realize she was married to Ichabod Crane’s uglier twin? I wish she’d get some haircutting crystals for that poor kid.

    Amazing someone could keep anything about anyone remotely famous a secret in Hollywood for a whole year.

    By “amicable” they mean Charlie hasn’t threatened to kill Denise in a whole week.

  7. tits_on_snack

    I had no idea who Brad Garrett and Jill Diven were until I clicked that link and saw that it was that guy from that show I don’t watch.

    next.

  8. RichPort

    A pole-dancing, ass-having, rocker-divorcing starlet… tell her to ditch the kid. I’ll massage her head, then she can massage mine. And of course by massage, I mean an ear-grabbing and accosting, and by my head I mean, well, my head…

  9. You KNEW Kate Hudson was going to be divorced because 6 months ago she was giving interviews to all the magazines saying how great their marraige was and how she wanted another kid….when they start trumpeting how fantastic their marraige is…or want to renew their vows after less than a few years, you know the Marraige Grim Reaper is just around the corner.

  10. As if having Chris Robinson and Kate Hudson as parents wasn’t bad enough, this kid is going to grow up with a sexual identity crisis. That hair isn’t just long, it’s styled like a little girl’s. Judging by Kate’s taste in men, Kate Moss and Pam Anderson might want to keep their nasty hubbies on a short leash.

  11. Why did she marry Jesus in the first place?

    http://www.celebslam.com

  12. Dee

    What a disgrace letting that poor child walk around like that. Not surprised, no hollywood marriages last very long.

  13. ER

    Her soon to be ex and her kid both need haircuts. The kid has promise, but the husband is just FUG!!!

  14. writergirl23

    The only reason (at least the one she gives) for not cutting her hair is because she’s part Hasidic Jew and they don’t cut their kids hair until they’re three. She said, “I’m not very religious, but it’s actually kind of beautiful, they compare the men to a tree and trees don’t bear fruit for three years.”

    So maybe… JUST maybe the kid will start looking like a boy when he turns 3 next January. But until then, we’ll just have to wait.

  15. ValeWolf

    Ten years later she’ll be wondering what did she do wrong and why does her son dress in drag…

  16. DancingQueen

    I predict in about 15 years this kid will be in rehab. Why do people insist on letting their boys’ hair grow long like that? How many times a day do people say, “oh, what a cute little girl you have!” It’s just fucking weird.

  17. Off topic, apparently The Paris Hilton Crew is still using the term “Firecrotch”

    http://www.nypost.com/gossip/pagesix/on_fire_over_lohan_pagesix_.htm

  18. jrzmommy

    15–Which parent is Hasidic? The druggie rock & roll father or the glamorous sex-symbol actress mother? Is she kidding us?

  19. popcornsuite

    As I was scrolling down I thought, “I wonder whose daughter that is.”

    Seriously. I’m not joking here.

    Kate, cut that boy’s hair.

  20. katie

    cause hasidic jews are the most attractive people on earth and look EXACTLY like something i would want to model my child after. is she going to shave her head and wear a nasty wig like the women do after they are married as well?

  21. Rimmer

    They’re all gay. Except for that kid, he’s gonna be just fine.

  22. DancingQueen

    Let’s hope to God for the kid’s sake he get looks like mom when he grows up and not dad. Ugh! Like poor Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel’s daughter Alexa. Your mom’s a supermodel and you don’t get any of her genes. At all! Now that sucks!

  23. spatz

    so i assume she’s going to shave the kids head and leave curls on the sides of his head (jew curls) since she’s a hacid all of a sudden? if youre gonna do it, do it all the way kate.

    that being said she’s still fucking gorgeous.

  24. Dragulf

    Thank the gods parents can’t get sex changes for their kids…

  25. Rimmer

    #25 Yeah, Suri gets a strap-on.

  26. frenchtoaststix

    I can hear Mama Goldie saying now, “See, I told you. You should have just lived together like Kurt and I do. Now you’ll have to pay alimony. Meh! Here’s some matzoh ball soup.”

  27. AmericanMcKrout

    #1 Marrying Ugliest Man on Earth (who probably smells like groupie fungus and stale weed): bad idea
    #2 Having baby with said man, there by playing Russian roulette with his dope-mangled chromosomes: bad idea
    #3 Going on talk show and telling the world how fabulous her sinking marriage is: bad idea
    #4 Kate shucking ugly rocker, cutting her kid’s hair, admitting how CRAPPY being married was, then going lesbian with me: good idea
    ANY QUESTIONS?

  28. Porcelyn

    LOL @ 24
    I spit out my coffee at the (jew curls) remark

  29. I Fucked Your Honor Student

    I like long hair on boy’s.

  30. herbiefrog

    i hav eto say
    th at we’re
    confus ed

    she looks like a very happy little girl

    …and you’re telling
    …us that it’s aboy?

    he’ll get beaten up at school
    llokin like that…

  31. beifiori

    actually, alexa ray is very pretty, and quite a talented singer…

    as far as the baby’s hair goes…if you’re not practicing a religion, why follow their customs? why give your kid an identity crisis because of something your thought up after a midnight toke?

  32. Whiplash

    I predict we’ll see her hooked up (just by coincidence) with Owen Wilson within a month. They’ll pretend they just ran into each other at some movie promo thing, and we’ll pretend we don’t know they were screwing around the whole time on “dupree”

  33. HollyJ

    that is the most feminine side-parted, perfectly combed straight, blowing in the breeze GIRL’S hairdo I’ve ever seen ACK!!! freaks, he’s gonna be sexually confused ENOUGH growing up in LA, and you do THIS to him ?

  34. katie

    alexa ray joel is gorgeous. even better then her boring blond cookie cutter of a mother christie

    http://www.myspace.com/alexarayjoel

  35. katie

    and holly j, they live in NYC most of the time.

  36. If you’re going to claim that Alexa Ray Joel is gorgeous, why not put up a more realistic shot of her?

    http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e314/leynaj19/AlexaRay012.jpg

  37. biatcho

    I heard Kate Hudson is suing Chris Robinson because he called her fat.

  38. spatz

    i agree with spindoc. sadly for her, that girl is an ugly little troll. i dont care how much make up she’s wearing in her myspace page. if i looked like that i’d kill myself.

  39. katie

    i still dont think shes ugly. christie was pretty sure, but could NOT possibly be more boring looking.

    i would love to see what some of you people look like.

  40. katie

    and actually alot of her other pics are much more natural and she is pretty.

  41. Tracie

    Alexa Ray aka “Fish Eyes” Joel

  42. give that kid a piece of bubblegum, let him get it in his overly long hair, and see how quickly mama cuts that shizz off.

  43. dupababy

    unfortch.. while it may be cute that the mom is actually interacting with him.. well.. the kid really reminds me of curious george
    http://www.stingybitches.com/Stingy%20kitties%202.html

  44. Hey, that is weird I can rip a ninja in half with my bare hands too! Cool!

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

  45. apparently, letting the kid’s hair grow is the ONLY thing they’re doing in the traditional Jewish fashion.

  46. darthelvis

    Its about damn time they’re getting divorced, although its too bad theres a kid involved, but thats Hollyweird. I’m glad Chris Robinson finally came to his senses. He’s so above her. The guy is a GOD of a singer. You people are idiots.

  47. twzzlrgirl

    didn’t read all the posts — but i can’t believe that’s a boy!! Poor kid — give him a haircut before he gets beat up by the other kids…honestly.

  48. Uhn Tiss Baby

    Gawd, open up your minds, you fucktard gender-fascists!

  49. Swordman

    Wow, so Kate Hudson finally woke up one day and saw that she had married sasquatch. Kate, there are laws against bestiality, you should know better. I mean in the few years that you were married to this troll could you have least introduced him to the concept of Shampoo

Leave A Comment