Penis: It’s What’s For Dinner.

August 2nd, 2010 // 59 Comments

Fresh from her stint in the drunk tank on Friday, Snooki spent the rest of her weekend relaxing with friends and publicly eating a penis lollipop from a sex shop because people do that. 99.9% of the time I will swear on my illegitimate children’s lives that reality TV is scripted, but I genuinely believe MTV found a shit-midget goldmine here. This has to be the first time in their entire reality history that they literally just turn a camera on and film what happens.

PRODUCER: What’s this strange feeling I’m having?
CAMERAMAN: I believe it’s called — “honesty.”
PRODUCER: *head explodes*

NOTE: I have no idea what the protocol is for penis-shaped candy in a (theoretical) woman’s mouth, so I erred on the side of caution and starred the header pic. (NSFW Version Here.) View the rest at your own risk which is pretty much always a given with Whorey Wicket here.

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. Pat

    When is she due?

  2. Smaug

    i didn’t know NJ had their own skunk ape

  3. Snooki
    Bryce
    Commented on this photo:

    What a fucking waste of flesh….

  4. Randal(l)

    Damn it thesuperficial.com! you should know that with every Snookie (whose nickname comes from her stuffing her filthy snatch with cookies for later) post you turn countless men away from heterosexuality and are threatening the future of all humanity. please stop killing humanity with pictures of this baby gorilla

    Randal(l)

    • Michael

      “please stop killing humanity with pictures of this baby gorilla”

      I hope you’re not referring to Artie Lange.

      Just kidding.

  5. FYI

    from Wikipedia

    Oompa-Loompa:

    Oompa-Loompas are fictional characters from Roald Dahl’s books Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator.

    History
    In the 1971 film they are portrayed as orange skinned. In early editions of the novel, they are shown as African pygmies. Following growing controversy and criticism, in later editions of the book, they are white skinned and golden haired.

    They come from Loompaland, which is a region of Loompa, a small isolated island in the Pacific Ocean. The Oompa-Loompas would end up being preyed upon or attacked by Whangdoodles, Hornswogglers, Snozzwangers, and Vermicious Knids. Wonka ended up inviting them to work at his factory and get away from their natural enemies. In the book, they are the only people Willy Wonka will allow to work in his factory, because of the risk of industrial espionage. They are only knee-high, with astonishing haircuts, and are paid in their favourite food, cacao beans. They insist on maintaining their native clothing: men wear skins, women wear leaves, and children wear nothing (In both movies, they wore typical factory worker uniforms). Only the male Oompa-Loompas are seen working in the factory, though in Quentin Blake’s illustrations, both male and female Oompa-Loompas are shown rolling away Violet Beauregarde after her transformation into a blueberry. Presumably the females remain in the village seen briefly from the Great Glass Elevator.

    They are also mischievous, love practical jokes, and singing. As each bad child makes his/her exit, they sing moralising songs accompanied by a drum beat.

    In the 2005 film production of ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’ starring Johnny Depp, the Kenyan actor Deep Roy played all 165 Oompa Loompas. Deep Roy had to take Pilates and dance classes for this role, which involves numerous songs and dances. Also, he was dressed as some female Oompa-Loompas that worked in the Administration Offices.

    • Blech

      What do you get when you guzzle down sweets?
      Eating as much as an elephant eats
      What are you at getting terribly fat?
      What do you think will come of that?

      I don’t like the look of it

      Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
      If you’re not greedy, you will go far
      You will live in happiness too
      Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do

  6. Snooki
    burton
    Commented on this photo:

    there is nothing remotely sexy about this woman.

  7. Snooki
    Kimy
    Commented on this photo:

    hahaha sick biitchh

  8. Marcus

    I’m in love with her.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    I said that with a straight face.

  9. Nerd

    Oink like you mean it Pudge!

    • Eva

      HAHAHAHA!!! You beautifully put into words exactly what I’ve been thinking!

    • who is the owner of this pig. there are limits to what you can give a pig to eat. yeas they eat garbage but there are limits.

      wonder if killing and gutting her would be illegal. definitely by the FDA standards.

  10. Snooki
    yowillie
    Commented on this photo:

    Pig. She needs a moo moo.

  11. Snooki
    Mark
    Commented on this photo:

    Classy.

  12. Snooki
    absinthe
    Commented on this photo:

    I was kicked off the internet as soon as I clicked the NSFW button. Coincidence? I think not.

  13. RoniMikey

    To bad that fat cow don’t choke on it and die.

  14. Robert

    “Cock Sucker”, not “Penis Lollipop”.

  15. Susan

    the question is, does it taste like pickles? we know snooki loves the pickles.

  16. ed46

    A plea to the webmaster at Superficial….PLEASE pull this orange, oompa loompa attention whore down from your site! It’s the first thing I see when I access your site, and I’m getting tired of throwing up a little in my mouth!

  17. Snooki
    Commented on this photo:

    Where does she fit into Gabriel Iglesias’ 5 Levels of Fat?

  18. Snooki
    Abby
    Commented on this photo:

    i don’t get it.. i thought the whole guidette thing was getting all juiced up and fake tits.. being club ready and all. why is she still a fugly pig?

  19. Snooki
    Clamhammer
    Commented on this photo:

    And its even purple.

  20. Snooki
    hateyoufornoreason
    Commented on this photo:

    Unsexiest thing I’ve ever seen.

  21. hateyoufornoreason

    Either Snookie’s cookie diet isn’t working, or she’s 8 months pregnant.

  22. Sobrietyisacrutch

    Just go ahead and star the entire face next time.

  23. Snooki
    Bruce
    Commented on this photo:

    I love how a few weeks ago in some interview she did, She claimed she was always fit and toned. But due to the rigorous filming schedule she has gotten “a BIT OUT OF SHAPE” LOLOLOLOL…even for New Jersey she is low class.

  24. Snooki
    jason
    Commented on this photo:

    Complete trashbag .

  25. captain america

    a hamburger is so ordinary………….

  26. RasputinsLiver

    *

    Oh gawd.

    Fisharoonie…man, bra…

    …I wouldn’t even let ‘er suck your dick! That’s how fuckin’ grotesque she is to me.

    Nuthin’ personal, ya know.

    *

  27. Negrah Woods

    Italian ghetto trash from Jersey where they all dress in tracksuits and speak worse than Tony from Sopranos. Every second guido here is Benny or Nicky or Jahhny (Giani)).
    Man- but thems Italiano mo fano s=chicks got some fat thighs I can see myselkf in. Ohh fap fap Negrah loves them Kentucky thighs.

  28. Snooki
    dino goposaur
    Commented on this photo:

    Halflings do have a sweet tooth

  29. Snooki
    yawn
    Commented on this photo:

    starring out a fucking lolipop what a douchebag..
    did you make a penny for the hundreds of unnecessary extra clicks?

  30. Bryce

    What a waste of flesh…

  31. Steelerchick

    NOBGOBBLER!!

  32. Snooki
    D
    Commented on this photo:

    מהה נראאה ללה? איזה סתוממממה
    WTF

  33. Internet

    You hate her — she wins.
    You like her — she wins.

    Either way — you lose, America.

  34. Snooki
    mullet
    Commented on this photo:

    guesses on how long till a sex tape with her is released?!?! I’m an insider with information about this!

  35. Snooki
    lovejesss
    Commented on this photo:

    crazy sick troll

  36. Snooki
    Jben
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks pregnant?

  37. Snooki
    Ugotz472
    Commented on this photo:

    What is she trying to prove?? She is setting a bad example for the young ladies out there who look up to her and her Jersey Shore castmates and here she is sucking on a x-rated lollipop in public??!!! Her parents must be real proud of having a daughter who is being filmed and knowing this she acts like a complete goof, kissing anything and everything, drinking like she is going to the electric chair and just plain making a spectacle of herself!!! Oh, I am very sorry, let me say that it’s not her fault that someone put a bottle of SoCo, Southern Comfort for us regular folks, in front of her and made her drink it which is the reason why she acts like she currently has, what’s next??

  38. Snooki
    Becs
    Commented on this photo:

    smexical

  39. Snooki
    Angry Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    My sister gives better head!

  40. Snooki
    yowillie
    Commented on this photo:

    What a fat pig!!!

  41. Blech

    Fish/Superficial Writer-Person, I really, really want to thank you for this post. I laughed until I cried reading it and the comments.

  42. Snooki
    kt
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish that “member” were mine…she is a true NJ dick sucking piece of trash…I love girls like this – for real…they have so much (head) to give…my x was a (south) jersey girl and she was (still is???) a complete freak!!! Loved it… Always head – up, mouth open for the load, looking just like a baby bird waiting for the first worm of the day!!! Then Every time I’d call her a whore and she just wanted more semen down the gullet (she was hot , too, as south Jersey girls go…) You go, Snooki – keep on draining those cocks!!! What great memories… Oh fuck, I just ejaculated…

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