Penelope Cruz is the latest human being to come out and confirm they’ve met Suri Cruise.
“I met Suri. She is really beautiful. She is really special,” the 32-year-old actress told reporters Thursday at the London premiere of her new film, Volver. “One of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. And I am extremely happy for them. They are really happy and doing great.”
I’m pretty sure Tom Cruise is just inviting people over to his house and then forcing them to pretend they saw his child. “You’ll do it because I know where you live. You tell everybody she’s the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen or else I’ll destroy you. I’m Tom Cruise, bitch!” And then he dresses up Katie Holmes as a lumberjack and has sex with “her.”
ICouldn'tResist | August 4, 2006 at 1:34 pm
Who gives a fuck about Suri … show more pixx of Penelope
ScriptRadar | August 4, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Uno, pendejos!
ScriptRadar | August 4, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Damn you, ICouldn’tResist!
whodatiz | August 4, 2006 at 1:35 pm
I have also met Suri the beauty baby. She’s got tentacles. And a funny hat. And a monocle.
Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest | August 4, 2006 at 1:37 pm
Can anybody look at that face and really say she’s attractive? She looks fuckin’ goofy to me. Would I bang her? Please, enough with the silly questions. Its me we are talking about.
Proteon | August 4, 2006 at 1:37 pm
WTF IS THIS SHIT!?
Nobody gives a fuck about TC anymore! GIVE US PICTURES OF LOHAN IN HER LATEST BIKINI SO I CAN VOMIT OVER HOW PHYSICALLY REVOLTING HER FIRM ROUND ASS AND SUMPTUOUS BREASTS ARE!
LIKE NOEW!!!!!!!!!
can't help myself | August 4, 2006 at 1:41 pm
i wonder what Penelope and Katie talked about when Mr. Big Man was out of the room?
Glossed Over | August 4, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Penelope Cruz isn’t exactly an impartial source–she’s been on the Tom Cruise payroll for years. How else would you explain their relationship?
http://glossedover.com
scrooge | August 4, 2006 at 1:42 pm
Katie probably said “Help Me”
jrzmommy | August 4, 2006 at 1:42 pm
Penelope is so breathing sighs of relief….that could have been her all brainwashed and faking a pregnancy.
ImSuicidal | August 4, 2006 at 1:42 pm
@4 So she looks like “Mr Peanut” – only with tentacles?
jrzmommy | August 4, 2006 at 1:43 pm
Real nice, invite over the chick you used to bang to meat your new kid. What has the world cum 2? I mean, come on!
spatz | August 4, 2006 at 1:43 pm
suri sure is speshul.
jrzmommy | August 4, 2006 at 1:44 pm
Maybe shes retarded?
EJ | August 4, 2006 at 1:44 pm
Does it strike anyone else as odd that everyone who’s “seen” Suri keeps insisting that she’s the most beautiful thing ever?
One of the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen! Really! Honest!
Chalk one up for the Suri-Is-Deformed conspiracy theorists.
biatcho | August 4, 2006 at 1:44 pm
I, too, met the baby. She’s “awesome”, just like her mom. Except within minutes of making eye contact with it I’m pretty sure my husband’s dick shriveled up & crawled back into his body cavity and my tits fell off.
Go figure.
Lynette Carrington | August 4, 2006 at 1:44 pm
Anybody in Hollywood that needs a quick $10k is invited to Tom’s house to report to the media that they’ve seen Suri. Hey Tom, for $10k I’ll come over and give my 2 cents about Suri and while I’m at it, I’ll spring Katie from the “Cruise Clink”.
jrzmommy | August 4, 2006 at 1:44 pm
I think they say beautiful, just to be nice.
ToiletDuck | August 4, 2006 at 1:45 pm
I found the latest video of Baby Suri – awww, she is just so sweet!! Check it out at the link below……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLmhGb4ZdZo
jrzmommy | August 4, 2006 at 1:45 pm
LOL Toilet Duck!
Peaches2133 | August 4, 2006 at 1:46 pm
I don’t think she she is pretty at all. She looks cross-eyed sometimes. Penelope looks like a greasy crack whore.
Anyway, it’s just a conspiracy. There really is no baby (if there is, it has to be an alien baby. No way would gay Tom have sex with Katie Holmes). Tom is just plain insane and is a publicity attention whore. The nurse who signed the birth certificate never saw the baby. TCLTC
pagebetty | August 4, 2006 at 1:47 pm
========
=======
======= So she saw Suri, huh? Yeah right.
Wasn’t she in st tropez? Anyway Tom can afford to put a lot of people on his payroll. ====== See these comments have to be timed just right. Go tom! Weirdo.
spatz | August 4, 2006 at 1:48 pm
actually 21 she looks more like a wet rat, no?
ImSuicidal | August 4, 2006 at 1:49 pm
One celebrity that has seen her reported, “she has snakes hair and if you look her in the eye, you turn to stone”
Sarah-Jean | August 4, 2006 at 1:49 pm
I think she’s gorgeous, but I don’t believe her.
This is just more of Tom’s attention hungry antics… He gets people to say the baby is cute so Suri will continue to be in the news.
I think we should boycott Suri!!!! We should fight Tom Cruise by refusing to talk about her!!!
That’ll show him…….
whodatiz | August 4, 2006 at 1:50 pm
#11
You catch on quick. I like that in a suicidal.
ANGELKIMMY | August 4, 2006 at 1:50 pm
WHO THE HECK CARES?????????
combustion8 | August 4, 2006 at 1:50 pm
God just look at that retarded face, she’s so damn goofy looking and her shity english accent makes me want to stab my ears with flaming hot shishkabobs.
biatcho | August 4, 2006 at 1:51 pm
The baby is “breathtaking”, in a Seinfeld sort of way.
Peaches2133 | August 4, 2006 at 1:52 pm
#23 Wet rat or not, she’s ugly and a terrible actress.
#24 LOL
ToiletDuck | August 4, 2006 at 1:53 pm
Here is some great footage of the delivery room when little Suri was born – a lot of nurses running around the ER, but altogether looks like a typical Scientology birth and everything came out OK…enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK79aAyqZQ4
jrzmommy | August 4, 2006 at 1:55 pm
Okay, I see we have an asshole among us who is signed on as me….20, 18, 14 and 12.
mrs.t | August 4, 2006 at 1:58 pm
I took the most magnificent dump this morning. Really, it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. It was. To top off my morning of beauty, both of my kids had absolutely breathtaking bowel movements as well. They are so special.
mrs.t | August 4, 2006 at 2:00 pm
jrzmommy, i thought that 18 sounded a lot like someone-who-shall-not-be-named, and not at all like you.
UNWASHEDMASSES | August 4, 2006 at 2:01 pm
Paz Vega, the chick from Spanglish, is what an attractive Penelope Cruz is supposed to look like. Penelope has been dogged by lezzie rumors for years, and I do not find it coincidental that she’s “dated” Tommy “cocklover” Cruise and Matthew “bongoballs” McConnahey – two dudes who have had their heterosexuality questioned over the years. She’s just going above and beyond in order to win Beard of the Year award handed out by GLAAD.
Agatha | August 4, 2006 at 2:01 pm
Suri thinks of Katie Holmes as “the mother ship.”
ToiletDuck | August 4, 2006 at 2:05 pm
She’s got the empty-headed gaze of Nancy Reagan, playing her finest role, perhaps the lowly cow in the manger witnessing the Virgin Birth or maybe listening to one of the Gipper’s speeches – more like she’s wondering why she can’t find a man who is truly interested in her womanly parts…
Reid | August 4, 2006 at 2:08 pm
So, Suri is a metaphor for Scientology? Only rich, famous people can see her? Is she the SciMessiah?
You know who I’d believe if he said Suri existed? Larry the Cable Guy.
http://www.reidaboutit.com/blog.htm
jrzmommy | August 4, 2006 at 2:13 pm
@34: Thanks Mrs. T.
“I pity the fool who impersonates me”
jrzmommy | August 4, 2006 at 2:22 pm
39–fake jrzmommy, that’s actually kinda cute and upbeat. At least you’re not being a psychopath today.
twzzlrgirl | August 4, 2006 at 2:25 pm
There has got to be something wrong with this child. These people are trying too hard to convince us that she’s beautiful.
As for special, I now a lot of special people. They ride the short bus to school…
RichPort | August 4, 2006 at 2:27 pm
Shouldn’t the headline read : Penelope Cruz EATS Suri? I mean, I though they had pieces of the kids stored in the meat locker to share with their friends.
Nikk The Templar | August 4, 2006 at 2:32 pm
I think Suri Cruise just may well be C’Thulu….
carrie bradshaw | August 4, 2006 at 2:38 pm
Funny it’s Tom’s few close personal friends who insist that Suri is just absolutely beautiful, yet that natural-food clerk in Telluride said she was “funny-looking”. Speaking of that guy, has anyone checked up on him since he said that? I wouldn’t be surprised if we learn that he has mysteriously disappeared, and when police went to his home to investigate there appeared to have been scuffle and all they found was some weird green blobs and a broken tentacle.
jrzmommy | August 4, 2006 at 2:42 pm
44–and a copy of “Dianetics”.
ImSuicidal | August 4, 2006 at 2:45 pm
Coincidence >>> Above Penelopes rat faced photo, there has been an “Are TomKat breaking up” ad – and a “Which Baby Name Do You Like Best, Shilo – Suri – Apple” ad. Those google/superficial guys are on the ball today!
EJ | August 4, 2006 at 2:48 pm
I love how all the celebs whine and bitch about how people stalk their babies to get photos.
If they’d just act like NORMAL parents, there wouldn’t be a problem. Hell, when I was born, Mom and Dad were giving photos of me to everyone including the friggin grocery bag guy. I can guarantee that no one needed to stalk them to get photos! ;)
CMonster0125 | August 4, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Why do her comments sound like something careful crafted by a PR person? Is she trying to sound sincere so TC will cast her in his next cinematic crapfest?
Tanor | August 4, 2006 at 2:53 pm
Seems to me Mr. Cruise is a sensitive chap. We already know he has a pack of lawyers going around the internet to hunt down people who say unfavorable things about him. Maybe his lawyers got hold of TheSuperficial and now he is trying to convince everyone he has a child.
Maybe you guys should say he wears a wig. Maybe he will keep brushing and pulling his hair to convince the world he doesn’t wear a wig. That would make him look totally sane.
http://www.BadBreakups.net
LL | August 4, 2006 at 2:57 pm
RE Suri: maybe it takes about 6 months for her human face to come in, you know, like teeth.
RE P. Cruz: Eh, I’ve seen her look better. She needs to clean off the eyeliner, she’s using enough for 3 women. As for her mental state, she did find Tom Cruise attractive at some point, so deduct points there. But she cut him loose before he managed to implant her uterus with his demon spawn, so add points there. So she comes out at about +1.
I too, am missing Lohan news, but not because I want to see her T&A, but because I want to see just how far down she can go, so to speak, before we get the statement that she’s checked in to rehab. Maybe she and Mel can commiserate about how much it sucks to be rich and famous and persecuted by the Jews.