Penelope Cruz

September 8th, 2004 // 1 Comment

Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz were spotted having lunch in Madrid, sparking rumors that they’re back together and having crazy three-way sex with an underaged circus performer. Though details are sketchy, what we know for sure is that I’m definitely the one that started that rumor. It’s a pretty good rumor too, if I do say so myself. Next time I’ll be sure to throw in a pig for good measure. I find that rumors are more satisfying when they involve pigs or sex with pigs.

Read Article [Tom and Penelope Go On A Lunch Date]

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