Penelope and Monica Cruz wear bikinis

July 20th, 2007 // 94 Comments

Penelope Cruz and her sister Monica Cruz spent the week in Ibiza debuting their Autumn/Winter fashion collection which they were hired to design for fashion brand Mango. Which nobody actually cares about, I just wanted an excuse to post these pictures of them in their bikinis. And you know what else I want an excuse to do? Uppercut a baby panda in the jaw. Those sons of bitches think they’re so cute. Who’s cute now?!

Photos: Splash

  1. p911gt10c

    and women wonder why us guys would get with 2 sisters at the same time.

  2. JoBOO

    I would drag my balls through 100 yards of broken glass, just to eat the peanuts out of her crap.

  3. Rezz

    Penelope is way to skinny for me and not that pretty either. Her sister is something else tho, them tits look tasty.

  4. TEL

    Penelope is nasty.

    Your commentary is getting even more lame, if that is possible.

  5. PenelopeCruzIsHot?!?

    Can someone explain the attraction with Penelope Cruz? Her sister looks fine, but this one with the deer-in-the-headlights look and pickle for a nose escapes me.

  6. JoBOO

    #6, you are either female or into bestiality.

  7. veggi

    Check out the regular Superficial female commenter (black bikini) in first pic on the bottom row – poorly fitting bikini, ugly bikini, tag showing, shouldn’t be in a bikini.

    She must be getting some sun before going back to her computer to call Britney a fat pig.

  8. NotAnotherBlogger

    She had a sister? And her sis is hotter than her? who knew?

  9. combustion8

    goddam those chicks are UGLY!!

  10. PenelopeCruzIsHot?!?

    @7 – You didn’t answer the question.

  11. Shamroc981

    I Wonder if Diddy’s still hittin that…

    Oh, hollyweird. You pose in bikinis on the beach…with your sisters and have the nerve not to give autographs.

  12. JoBOO

    #11 — my answer was implicit. She is HAWT.

    I still think you are either a female or a goat-lover

  13. Superfish

    #9 Hotter than her? Her fucking sister reminds me of Adam Sandler in “Little Nicky.” Someone hit her in the face with a shovel!

  14. Penis Mightier

    The baby panda comment was uncalled for and way out of of line. And not funny.

  15. Penis Mightier

    The baby panda comment was uncalled for and way out of of line. And not funny.

  16. Penis Mightier

    Whoops. I swear I didn’t submit twice. Dammit!

  17. PenelopeCruzIsHot?!?

    @13 – No, she’s NAWT.

  18. Shamroc981

    #17 If i didn’t know any better, I’d say you posted that comment twice just to prove ur animal rights. Aww, how cute. especially when I just skinned a rabbit. They make great belts. want one?

  19. JoBOO

    #18 — Ma’am, you’re entitled to your opinion. Baaaah.

  20. Regularsuperficialfemalecommentator

    You’re right Veggi, that is me, I’m wiping your cum off my thigh.

  21. Sam

    Did Penelope’s nose look like a penis before or after Tom got through with it?

  22. caipirinha

    Penelope’s ass is as flat as ever even though she gained some weight, I remember her nipple slip last summer, her boobs didn’t look as big last summer, good for her…. Looks like Pedro Almodovar knew what he was doing when he required her to wear push-up pants in his last movie Volver…. and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her nose! Hey you all dumb people like #6 listen to Plato who says “one has a snub nose, and you praise his charming face; the hook-nose of another has, you say, a royal look; while he who is neither snub nor hooked has the grace of regularity”. Ahh, it feels good to know it better :)

  23. Rachael

    I thought the baby panda comment was hysterical. PETA loser @ 15 (AND 16, AND 17)–you don’t invade animal rights by talking shit, just like I don’t invade any of your rights when I call you a humorless prick.

  24. morning coffee

    Why do they look so sad?

    Dumb bitches.

  25. beautiful!!! this is what people like looking at.

  26. jessica

    which one is penelope and which is the sister? i can’t tell the difference…..

  27. Come on Fish, Panda’s already have two black eyes from their big tits? I am female, but not really into beastiality (although I can spell it).

  28. drewski

    Goddamit, look who snuck into picture #13 wearing a black bikini. Does Brintney have to be in EVERY fucking picture???

  29. morning coffee

    Enough with the belly button piercings already.
    That’s just nasty.

    Do these broads have waists? Where’d they go?

  30. Who is the hot guy with the sister? And they are both beautiful!

  31. Chauncey Gardner

    I fucking can’t stand Penelope Cruz, and will never understand how she became such a big star. She’s fucking weird-looking.

    I actually think she looks like she’s part platypus. She’s got that fucking duck beak, and she looks like she’d naturally be at least 75% covered in fur.

    I can just see her handlers working in shifts to shave her with dog clippers continuously throughout the day, just to keep the hair from reappearing in the middle of a scene.

  32. CanYouSaySpellcheck?

    @28 – You were kidding about your spelling of bestiality, right?

  33. wayouttatune

    Keep up insulting these two,ladies and gents. I will get them to my house and show them all the nasty things you say. I will then prove that I can protect them from all the shit you sling. They will be so grateful they’ll immediately get naked and do so many dastardly dirty things to my body that I will have to pee sitting down for a week.

  34. Blohan'sDeviatedSeptum

    I thought everyone had cellulite? Hmmmm not seeing alot in this post. Maybe Shitney has a corner on the market.

    As for Panda’s, I say take those fuckers out before they get the chance to over-saturate our markets with cheap consumer goods.

  35. Stoney

    Asses flat as day old beer! Both of them!

  36. #33–You’re right about the mispelling. But I did say that I’m not into it anywhoo. You must be well versed?

  37. Italian Stallion

    I’ve always thought Penelope Cruz was hot in her own way. I’d like the reason why I would be waking up in the morning next to her. I just don’t like the fact that she would look like that first picture when I do……….

  38. veggi

    #38 – so you’d be rolling over to give a morning kiss to what looks like a bignosed-dude. Sounds like a standard flaming Italian sunrise to me.

  39. gudrun

    @32 never heard of permanent hair removal? Blond girls may have less body hair, but they sometimes have that weird thin and blond hair covering their entire faces, yuck…

  40. Italian Stallion

    @39 Why do you closet fags always have gay thoughts when I post? I don’t fly that way and never will. I didn’t know there were that many fags coming here. Fuck off, and noone cares about your hangovers, cocksucker……..

  41. Chauncey Gardner


    Thank you for your inconsequential response to my post. I appreciate the fact that you read it.

  42. Chauncey Gardner

    You know, folks, I just took a good look at Monica, and can’t imagine why anybody would call a woman with a face like that “hot”.

    She looks like Michelle “Chupacabra” Rodriguez crossed with the old vampire guy from UNDERWORLD.

    Seriously – if you looked down while getting blown and saw that…THING…looking back at you, you’d die of fright.

  43. gigi

    it sux for us chicks w/ low hip/waist ratios… ::sigh:: we gotta stay skinny or it just looks blah… a little too much paella patatas bravas, jamón serrano y queso manchego, grilled butifarra & tortilla and it’s alllll over… ah well… Panda ref: TOO funny! #15 needs to find a better hobby & sense of humor

  44. gudrun

    @32 never heard of permanent hair removal? Blond girls may have less body hair, but they sometimes have that weird thin and blond hair covering their entire faces, yuck…

  45. they are so beautiful. and somebody please tell me where they got their bikinis please!

  46. veggi

    Stallion! Why ya gotta be so mean? I thought we were friends. Remember the time you farted and cum shot out, and I convinced everybody it was undigested tapioca pudding? Good times, good times.

  47. Frankie

    I don’t see where Monica is so Hot BUT Penelope is VERY HOT and I wonder why she can’t keep a guy, has to be insecure and F$#ked up somehow?!

  48. Tessa

    I don’t think they are hot at all. There’s something in their faces that I don’t like.

  49. Anyone on the hot guy with sister?

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