Paz de la Huerta is a Complicated Woman, And Sometimes Hold Her Boobs

May 9th, 2011 // 22 Comments

Here’s Boardwalk Empire star Paz de la Huerta posing for, and looking remarkably good for someone who I would’ve sworn a few weeks ago was Jennifer Garner’s twin that didn’t get enough oxygen in the womb. I’m talking you could’ve told me the hospital cut Paz off Jennifer Garner’s elbow then put her in a jar, and I’d nod my head and say something about it being a good thing she poked holes in the top so I sounded smart.



  1. Chase

    She looks like a crack whore

  2. Fartblossum

    She’s tarded.

  3. Honest Abe

    Let me bite dat ass!!

  4. Parker

    Hey if she’s a crack whore I can stick my penis in her hot little behind for only 5 bucks. That’s a bargain compared to what some girls want for anal sex these days, like dates, jewelry, marriage proposals, etc.

  5. Paz De La Huerta Topless Esquire
    Allah Akbar
    Commented on this photo:

    Fat ass. No, seriously.

  6. Parker

    Wow I like that photo where it looks like she’s going to take a dump on the floor. I think she’s done that before like at Saks or Nordstrom or something.

  7. spookyfish

    This is what all of us girls like to do in our spare time. Hang around our homes holding our boobs looking like crack whores taking a dump by an empty flower pot. *rolls eyes*

    • Fartblossum

      Women are turned on by men who are smart, funny and exhibit lots of confidence. Sadly, men are turned on by women who squat like they’re taking a dump.

  8. She’s totally hot and sexy, in a slightly retarded and doesn’t understand what that penis thing is doing sort of way. Ok, really, really HOT.

  9. Paz De La Huerta Topless Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    hmm, no starz…me likey!

  10. Paz De La Huerta Topless Esquire
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This shot could have been somewhat erotic, except for the toilet-looking planter there beside her.
    I know there are some people on this site who love the idea of a hot woman poopin’ on ‘em…..I guess this photo is for you.

  11. catapostrophe

    So she sometimes “hold her boobs,” eh?

    Almost there.

  12. Paz De La Huerta Topless Esquire
    Commented on this photo:


  13. Ed

    I guess all the talented photographers had the day off, or did an editor’s nephew need some resume padding? I can do better with my cell phone.

  14. Drundel

    Brown bag special.

  15. Paz De La Huerta Topless Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only one that sees some nip in that last shot? I’m confused because I have seen far less get “star-ed”…

  16. Robert Johnson

    She reminds me of a gf who liked it when I licked her brown eye but not her fish taco.

  17. Fact: check out Smoking Gun – it’s actually in her contract that she has to get naked in every episode of Boardwalk Empire.

  18. Trillian

    Imagine the horror if her and Paris started chumming around? Their would be herpes as far as the eye could see. You’d be telling your grandkids about the perfect storm of STD’s in 2011. We barely survived, there was nary a crotch to be found that didn’t itch for hundreds of miles, it was horrible.

  19. reformed_druid

    Maybe they’re new, she looks like she has never seen them before.

  20. Paz De La Huerta Topless Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    No ass that saggy should ever be seen in public.

  21. Paz De La Huerta Topless Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    So, she won’t even touch herself without gloves on.

  22. Crop her entire head out of these shots and we might have a deal.

  23. Burt

    Those pictures have been photoshopped to hell.

  24. Paz De La Huerta Topless Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    If that’s not a nipple then she should probably see a doctor.

  25. Paz De La Huerta Topless Esquire
    s'up bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Shitty face! Nice tits!

  26. Paz De La Huerta Topless Esquire
    bi chick
    Commented on this photo:

    what the hell? she has more booty than your average Hollywood Hottie, but it’s nowhere near fat or saggy! Geez

  27. the captain

    americans in general aren’t used to see pornographic material like these photo’s.

  28. Blaaaagh, not good. Skanky skank with murderbitch eyes make my peepee shrink and cry.

  29. sensitive guy

    Hey Fish – are you still on vacation mode? Did you not notice there’s actually a nipple in shot number 5? She’s totally hot, so I’m not complaining… I’m just kinda surprised that nip slipped by you!

  30. Paz De La Huerta Topless Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    BEAUTIFUL no doubt

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