Pauly Shore somehow finds a mate

November 9th, 2007 // 69 Comments
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Pauly Shore and his girlfriend are on vacation this week in Hawaii. I’m impressed that, in sheer defiance of his gut, Pauly Shore managed to snag a respectable looking woman. (At least in the boob region. I don’t do faces.) That being said, you’ve got to respect a man who wears a bathing suit like that. Pauly Shore’s not afraid to show people that the chick he’s with will do anything for money. Despite the fact she just threw up on a jellyfish. And is now swimming frantically out to sea. Jesus, look at her go. Something’s got her spooked. Oh, right, the bathing suit.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Baby

    jiiha

  2. Jen

    Ew, ew ,ewwww. I mean, you post pics of gorgeous women all the time. Can you throw the women a bone (pun intended) and post a pic of a hot dude every one and a while?

  3. Duh

    No Weeezing the Juuuuice!!!!

  4. c45j

    who is she?

  5. RENEE Z...

    What the heck?! I thought for “Shore” (oh god that was baaad) Pauly was as gay as could be. Is my gaydar off or is he in serious denial?

  6. amma

    …Yeah, what Jen said! Would it kill you to post a hot guy once in a while????
    As to uh…Pauly Shore and his “date”….hahahahah…oh geez, he hired her, right? Gotta be the case.
    But check out his facial expression in pic 6–where he is…uh, he is…WTF is he doing???? Whatever it is, it doesn’t look good. Or right. At first it’s like he’s squeezing water out of the front of his suit {hahahah, the suit}…but then, why would he do that? He’s in water and his whole suit is wet. Could he be….uh, doing something else? Something freaky?
    Yeah, definitely. But the look on his face while he is doing it is so confused-old-man-in-profile.
    Oh well, even if there wasn’t a hot guy on here today, at least there was something funny {and this is the only way this guy would ever be funny, unintentionally that is…}.

  7. joeypants

    I’d wreck that (not Pauly).

  8. Auntie Kryst

    You sure that’s Hawaii? Can the Weeeezel afford air fare to Hawaii? Look at that crappy beach and dirty surf, looks more like the Lake of the Ozarks. More his style these days I think.

  9. no1justminda

    Get a bikini that fits, it’s not that hard.

  10. AmeriCanadian

    :O His girlfriend wears a smaller bikini top yuck!!!

    He is picking at his ass crack, too. Gross!!!

  11. Grace

    I guess when you’re as desperate as Pauly Shore, one of the million girls you hit on every weekend is bound to find you “charming”.

  12. D. Richards

    Goddamn look at Pauly! He’s only forty? Pauly looks like a fifty-year old heffer. Jesus. If that’s what I have to look foward to at forty, I’m going to slice my own intestines out. The ass on his girl looks nice enough. I’d bury my face between her buttochs. And smile. And breathe deeply. Salad.

  13. Last thing I saw him on was Entourage. He’s kind of a loser on there, too..

    Why him? Why not Brendan Fraser? Shoot, I’d even rather the short guy from LOTR..

  14. veggi

    He has the same body and mind of the male commenters here, but a vastly bigger wallet.

  15. Nick

    Her name is Taryn Terrell. I know this because I went to high school with her.

    Her site is: http://www.tarynterrell.com/

  16. ganana

    When I was in high school, there was a girl everyone called “Tell Me Why” behind her back. Year after year this buck toothed girl with no personality was chosen cheerleader (I forgot what the selection process was). Now, I think Pauly Shore can join her (and Adam Sandler) as Tell Me Why 1 and 2.

  17. In case you missed it….here is the walking hard-on getting his ass kicked by some big fat redneck fuck down in Texas:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=GtrBZJ9pYC0

  18. SKANK BURRITO

    WOMEN ARE ALL WHORES FOR MONEY SO WHY ARE WE SURPRISED THAT AN OLD RICH JEW HAS A YOUNG HOT DICKWARMER?

  19. #18 you are an idiot

  20. havoc

    I fucking hate that guy……

    .

  21. spam lips

    remember when he dated that porn star named Savannah in the early 90s? she was the jenna jameson of her day. she killed herself. i’m guessing all women who have been with this loser realize dating him = your prime has passed. this chick is probably 30.

  22. dennis

    I guess you retards don`t travel much. In some countries you either wear this type of swimsuit or they tatoo GRINGO onto your forhead!

  23. PrettySexy

    This girl has standards. She will only fuck Pauly on a bedmade of thousand dollar bills . Money just given to her. There must be a mirror on ceiling too. Not so she can watch Pauly’s butt while he applies the wood but to see the thousands underneath her. The money serves as a reminder for why she’d fuck this loser.

  24. gotmilk?

    hey dennis, not sure if you knew this, but hawaii is part of the good old US of A. so guess what? you’re the retard now.

  25. nipolian

    #22 – When did the Hawaiians start speaking spanish? Fucktard!

  26. Dawn

    Ugggg. I havent been this turned off since my step dad forced himself on me in 89.

  27. Me

    see what making fun of people in your earlier years gets you—>and body that nooooooo amount of milk can do good…I have to offer you my thanks though fish, now when I feel the need to vomit, I no longer have to stick my fingers down my throat, I can just open this picture of pauly instead.

  28. JM

    #26 – that was hilarious.

    #17 – that was staged.

    #3 – Hey Buuuhh – dee!

  29. SKANK BURRITO

    #19 JUST WHAT I’D EXPECT FROM A WHORE.

  30. Feckless

    He’s got smelly fingers. And you could take a nap in between the beginning his thought and his response.

  31. j allen

    i heard they met at http://www.herpes-singles.org
    an owner of a club once told us that paulys unit looks like pepperoni pizza.
    hell after seeing this i dont think its safe to go into that water.

  32. Bigheadmike

    More power to him……What a great looking woman.
    Money can buy you love……

  33. So…tell me again why rappers are wrong to call women hos?

  34. PaulyShore

    Just remember assholes. While all you are masturbating to these pictures I’ll be cumming on this girls face.

  35. WTF?

    Money & a giant cock…what else is there?

  36. Ript1&0

    So wait….nobody here thinks Pauly is super hot?? Like, not even a little? Look at him lying down smiling on the beach chair, he looks sweet and funny!! Aww…

    Well, I guess I’m just as off about this as I was about Larry King. I can see my opinions don’t reflect the majority.. Ah well. Typical.

  37. Jesse

    lmao@35. only a white boy would call Pauly’s cock “giant.” I suppose it must appear to be…

  38. Ript1&0

    And btw, Skank Burrito, I don’t actually know Frist, but you are a fucking cocksmoking doucheball retard motherfucker for calling her that. Bitch.

    You heard.

  39. moderator

    Just to clarify: FRIST is not a whore. She’s a total slut, but she’s not in it for the money.

  40. Ript1&0

    That was romantic! You guys should make out.

  41. hobo101

    the guy has a fuckin’ boner…

  42. 23apples

    I like little picture #7. I wish he had pigtails and there was a little doggy pulling down his swim shorts.

  43. 4DPants

    I like the one where he’s caressing his own man-boob.

  44. TS

    Hey SKANK BURRITO,
    FRIST is not a whore, she’s an alcoholic (and a pretty damn good one) so get your facts straight. You know what else? You ARE a fucking idiot so apparently she’s pretty bright and perceptive too. Dipfuck…Yeah, I just made that one up. Just for you.

  45. your tears taste so sweet.

    most women are whores. granted, they aspire to be the whore of one man til the end of time, they are still whores. if you have a diamond on your finger it just confirms that two months salary is your fee. personally, i prefer sluts. no sense paying for what nature intended.

  46. Awwww, but #45, you can’t get either..

  47. M

    The guy that claimed to have killed Jon Benet found someone too.

    I think those are official signs of the apocolypse, right?

  48. PunkA

    BUFF THE WOOD!!!!!!!!

  49. Hyack

    LOL.
    He’s squeezing the juuuuiiice!
    Perfect caption this picture.

  50. Narcissist

    Looks like there’s hope for every man. Maybe she thinks he’s funny. He’s almost as blubbery as Vanessa Hudgens dad.

    Pic 7: “Uh- oh…think there’s a little turd in there buuuhh – dee.”

    Pic 5: What the hell!?

    @47 – Women love murderers. Ted Bundy, Scott Peterson…Women like to be hacked up and stuff so their man can go screw someone else. They line up for a catch like that. I figure that’s what I’ve been doing wrong, what with the respect and socially acceptable behavior and all that shit.

    @15 – that does look like her. 22yrs.

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