Paula Abdul appeared on Fox’s Seattle affiliate trying to promote American Idol but instead reminding us of the dangers of substance abuse. Just curious, but is she ever not drunk? If you want to promote your show, how about sending somebody who doesn’t speak like they just had a stroke. If you x-rayed her head you’d find a bunch of cobwebs and an IOU from God that said “One brain.”
Thanks to everybody who sent this in.
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danielle | January 12, 2007 at 12:46 pm
Where’s the REAL fucking story?
Jedi Kevin | January 12, 2007 at 12:49 pm
I think all three of those chicks are sharing the same brain cell.
BigJim | January 12, 2007 at 12:49 pm
I understand that Damn-Yell is actually the long lost identical twin to Paris Hilton, except, believe it or not, Danielle is actually the dumb one.
The umbilical cord got wrapped around Danielle’s neck and not only did the lack of oxygen caused irreparable brain damage, but it turned the bitch permanently purple.
Upset at the prospect of having to raise a more mentally deficient and even uglier version of Paris, the Hilton’s gave her up for adoption. Well, actually, they just dumped her on someone’s porch and told them it was a pet monkey.
Danielle supported their claim by flinging poo.
datter | January 12, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Fourth, bitch.
danielle | January 12, 2007 at 12:59 pm
#3. When I need an “Introduction” from a redneck who resides in the backwoods of Kentucky and who eats dead squirrels fried in olive juice and marinated with ketchup…I’ll be sure to call Shitney Smears.
So, shut the fuck up.
combustion8 | January 12, 2007 at 1:00 pm
what a train wreck, I couldnt even watch the whole thing… I hope she passes out live this year.
s0fa | January 12, 2007 at 1:06 pm
WWoooww…..slurring ur words a bit there. way to present urself as a sleaze
GothamGuy | January 12, 2007 at 1:06 pm
I really should NOT be releasing this info, but Paula is planning a HUGE comeback by remaking her #1 singles based on how her life has changed. The first is a remake of “Rush, Rush” (Sung in the same tune)…
“drugs, drugs
hurry hurry, dealer come to meeee
drugs, drugs
I wanna feel it,
wanna feel crack flow through meeeee!”
Congrats on pulling a “deVito”, Paula!
scoos | January 12, 2007 at 1:13 pm
I agree with you # 6
BigJim | January 12, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Nice come back, Danielle. When the welfare check runs out because you spent it all on crack, I advise that you hold up a liquor store because the proprietors are generally well armed and have no compunctions about busting a cap in some junky’s ass.
danielle | January 12, 2007 at 1:22 pm
#10.
And the twit continues to annoy me…..
Welfare- check♥…Jrz already used that one.
Since you crackers seem to pull “jokes” out of your ass as much as you chew on tobacco, I’ll let you have that one.
Seriously: welfare, baby daddies, odd names and drug possession is getting quite cheesy and lame.
Go commit suicide, rape a baby, overdose on heroin or just hump a wall like a good CRACKER.
Get lost, you piece of used up lump of semen.
RichPort | January 12, 2007 at 1:24 pm
“Get lost, you piece of used up lump of semen”
I think I can actually hear the English language crying…
whitegold | January 12, 2007 at 1:24 pm
OMG, what the heck happened to her?!? Still, for a 40-something year old, she’s damn hot!!! So if she wants to act like a silly drunk chick, I’m not gonna complain.
danielle | January 12, 2007 at 1:27 pm
troll
bedbugsandballyhoo | January 12, 2007 at 1:28 pm
I guess this explains why her ex, Emilio Estevez, can’t bear to watch her on TV. It’s embarrassing enough for those of us who don’t even know her!
Ardee | January 12, 2007 at 1:41 pm
…. that was very painful to wathch!
RussianMafia | January 12, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Oh my god I was so embarrassed just watching this. Does she do this a lot? Someone fill me in!
LL | January 12, 2007 at 1:42 pm
RE: If you x-rayed her head you’d find a bunch of cobwebs and an IOU from God that said “One brain.”
I just laughed my ass off…
ashleighnicole | January 12, 2007 at 1:46 pm
this was hard to watch. the bitch is fucked up.
Karri | January 12, 2007 at 1:51 pm
An IOU in her head from God that said “one brain”… hahaha… do you realize how wonderful and funny you are?
WD-40 | January 12, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Before i click on the video and watch what I am sure will be very entertaining, I just have one question…..
Who is that in the red sweatshirt holding the umbrella…..William Hung?
Dean | January 12, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Wow, that was quite bad.
WD-40 | January 12, 2007 at 2:04 pm
ok…having now watched the video…..
Ho…..ly……..shit.
That was too much.
And it was the Hungmeister!
Mo | January 12, 2007 at 2:08 pm
If a Bratz doll was drunk and talked, that is what it would look like.
MirageAhead | January 12, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Hahahaha, “you KNOW WHAT!? any publicity is good publicity!!!”
I wonder if she’ll be singing the same tune in the next few days, when everyone will see this and collectively poop on her.
That was so entertaining, thank you
BarbadoSlim | January 12, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Paula Abwho?
Tracie | January 12, 2007 at 2:52 pm
There’s an even MORE fucked up Paula on YouTube. Just search, “Blast: Paula Abdul”. It’s riveting!
woodhorse | January 12, 2007 at 3:30 pm
if not welfare checks, then danielle is collecting money running an adult daycare on her back porch while she sits in the kitchen waiting to be first. The old geezers can’t complain about the lack of care. She also doesn’t have a Significant Other (except for the homosexual Libraesque) who doesn’t care about the lack of attention she gives him. Ah! Sweet Success!! To have just enough money to pay the DSL bill, a six-pack of lite beer and being able to say “first” on a web site. Your parents (if they paid any attention to you) would be so proud.
papertiger | January 12, 2007 at 4:04 pm
paula abdul actually has reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome, “a chronic pain condition that is believed to be the result of dysfunction in the central or peripheral nervous systems.” her behavior is probably due to the side effects of painkillers.
Naid | January 12, 2007 at 5:01 pm
DanYell … As a “cracker” Im personally offended by your insults to the white race ! Havent you got a rally to lead because of the ” injustice ” of blacks in the south? Shouldnt you be trying to convince us to buy the Cosby show insted of Seinfeld ? Perhaps you should be writing Krackhead Wests’s next bitch speech when his show on HBO is cancled because he’s black ! surely someone of your advanced skill in english and grammar has an important job, not just sitting around here talking to us crackers all day !
woodhorse | January 12, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy is one of the easiest illnesses to fake and the one used by many drug addicts to obtain a steady supply of pharmaceuticals and sometimes a welfare check.
woodhorse | January 12, 2007 at 5:08 pm
Danyello! stick up for yourself! all them katrina bitches got checks and free hotels and when your last boyfriend left you on the street with no job, a baby and a disabled cat, where was your fucking FEMA trailer?? People get shit happen to them all the time but the only time it was somebody else’s fault (and financial responsiblity) was when it was a hurricane. Like nobody knew the hurricane was coming but you were supposed to know that crackhead was going to leave you high and dry. I think you should troll Spike Lee until he gives you a disaster check cause you are a disaster and it just has to be somebody else’s fault…..
KiwiBrownn | January 12, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Wow – she’s shaking harder than Michael J.
Avarice | January 12, 2007 at 6:04 pm
I’ll probably go to hell for this, but did Paula remind any else of Michael J. Fox’s commercial?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9WB_PXjTBo
Sit still, woman!
Anodyne | January 12, 2007 at 6:23 pm
Danielle, just, wow.
Couple things, sweet cheeks:
- If you fried something in olive juice the juice will rapidly evaporate, and you would just be burning said squirrels. I know that ‘virgin’ lost all meaning to you at age 11, much less ‘extra virgin,’ but you might try saying ‘olive oil’ next time.
- When someone irritates you via the internet, you advise them to eithe kill themselves or ‘rape a baby.’ Is that what mummy had papa do to you when she got mad at him? It might somewhat explain your stance on such issues.
- One does not actually ‘chew on’ chewing tobacco.
- Semen does not come in ‘lumps.’ If you will glance through you baby pictures, I am certain the truth will be revealed to you.
candycain | January 12, 2007 at 6:44 pm
My favorite part is when she had to stop herself from barfing.
PooPants | January 12, 2007 at 7:53 pm
she’s very tilty
FecalPellets | January 12, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Super! The hooker dolls are gonna come to life:)
magickal | January 12, 2007 at 8:27 pm
# 35
I just made the tiniest little droplet of pee in my panties laughing so hard…good stuff!
magickal | January 12, 2007 at 8:30 pm
My God…..what the hell was that??? That was so awkward. More frightening, still, is that I realize that’s what I sound like when I drink and dial.
BigMember | January 12, 2007 at 8:36 pm
OMG that totally sounds/looks like me at my company’s boat cruis last year. HEHEHEHEHEEEE
She’s like: “iiii I’m goonna tell yyyou soomeethiing….. iiii I aamm drunk aaaasss a ssskuuunk”
geek_uk | January 12, 2007 at 11:02 pm
She sounds like a fuckin’ arsehole.
Bell91501198 | January 12, 2007 at 11:37 pm
I’d hit it and if she was in that state of mind at the time there’s no telling what kind of kinky shit I would do with her.
heyheyhey | January 13, 2007 at 3:10 am
wow…did I just watch corky’s older sister on the news??
oh yeah, and for everyone getting on danielle…leave the rest of us black folks out of it. its not our fault she hates white people and is bad at telling jokes. jesse jackson and hurricane katrina need not be included in your diatribes against her. thanks!
heyheyhey | January 13, 2007 at 3:11 am
ok well jesse jackson is fine, he’s a douche. but general black jokes are not
seriously... | January 13, 2007 at 5:22 am
Ok. I’m not an American, so maybe Paula Abdul is incredibly famous there. But I only have this vague image of her dancing in some random video clip with a… cartoon??? Oh, and I saw in a magazine a weird picture of her nasty cleaveage like a week ago. Not sure.
woodhorse | January 13, 2007 at 7:15 am
#45 LMAO – ok no katrina but i don’t even think danielle is darker skinned, i think she’s pasty white like many of us but she’s just trying to be cool cause black is cool and white isn’t. MLK (birthday Monday) wanted us to be together (naturally) so now black people are stuck with white people cause we love you – and vice versa – now that we got to know each other. but danielle sucks. but on these pages everyone is exactly the same color and we can rag on danielle all we want without backlash. Yeah!!
Web Girlie | January 13, 2007 at 7:23 am
I watched this live. What the clip doesn’t show is the first two attempts to get her attention. They brushed it off saying she must not have been able to hear them because she kept saying “hello” and looking off camera and laughing.
It was almost painful to watch the entire thing. But like a train wreck, I couldn’t stop staring.
getoffthegrass | January 13, 2007 at 7:30 am
Umm… i thought she had this condition, thats why shes always weird lol!
getoffthegrass | January 13, 2007 at 7:30 am
Umm… i thought she had this condition, thats why shes always weird lol!