America experienced a wave of newfound enthusiasm on Tuesday night, as Barack Obama was elected the 44th President of the United States. But now that excitement is in danger of unraveling, as the downsides of an Obama presidency become evident. People magazine reports:
With the election of Barack Obama, Paula Idol of American Idol will stay just that – an American.
“I was crying!” she tells PEOPLE. “You feel such a sense of pride that you can’t even articulate how good you feel. It’s unbelievable! I have chills. I was just so excited. I was texting everyone: ‘Peace has begun.’ And then I was texting everyone, ‘I don’t have to move to Vancouver now!’”
Forget about making Paula Abdul cry. As admirable as that is, it’s really not that hard to do. The chick cries about everything. That’s what happens when you mix Wild Turkey and Xanax with your Cheerios every morning. The real point is, Paula Abdul was ready to move out of the country, before Obama was elected. And now she’s staying. If our new Commander in Chief is serious about bringing the country together and restoring the faith of its citizens, his first act after taking the oath will be to issue a proclamation authorizing the packing of Paula Abdul in a rocket and shooting her directly into the sun. U-S-A! U-S-A!