Paula Deen’s Publisher Cancelled Her Already #1 Best-Selling Cookbook

“Oh, how rude of me, sugah. Y’all probably never seen one of these in your village. This is a book. El book-o.

Because America is a shitty place, pre-orders of Paula Deen’s upcoming cookbook “Paula Deen’s New Testament: 250 Favorite Recipes, All Lightened Up” shot to #1 on Amazon as a direct result of her being exposed as a racist employer who allegedly discriminates against her black employees whenever she’s not wishing she can force them to tap dance at weddings. Which was great for Ballantine considering the book wouldn’t even be out until October, so all they had to do was keep their mouths shut and collect free money from Stupidtown when this whole thing is blown over because does anyone even remember the last thing we were all mad about? — Exactly. Instead, it decided to cancel the book because corporations pass up profits whenever someone says a racial slur one time in 1986. That’s entirely how that works. TMZ reports:

In a statement released Friday, Ballantine Books announced it has cancelled the publication of “Paula Deen’s New Testament: 250 Favorite Recipes, All Lightened Up”.

Ballantine adds its name to the long list of companies abandoning ship in light of Deen’s n-word controversy … The Food Network, QVC, JCPenny, and Smithfield Hams, etc.

In case I didn’t make it clear back there, none of these companies are dropping Paula Deen because they give a shit about race relations. If that were true, no one on FOX News would have a book deal. It’s all about money. And none of them are going to kick a sweet, elderly cash cow to the curb because she said “nigger” once 30 years ago in reference to a bank robber. In fact, if I had to list the three most adorable things in the world it’d be photos of babies that look like they’re giving you the finger, Peter Dinklage and old people saying things that were acceptable in 1942. So clearly there are more layers to this onion than meets this eye, and Christ, don’t ever let me do cooking humor again. What the hell was that?

Photos: Splash News