Paula Deen Tried To Use Prop 8 To Get Her Lawsuit Dismissed. Of Course.

The Superficial / July 3, 2013

“If y’all let homahsexuals like this’n here marry, then you must acquit.”

As this Paula Deen debacle has unrolled to reveal its bacon donut center with a butterfat butter glaze, I’ve been wondering how the hell her lawyer let her walk into a deposition and not only admit to using the word “nigger” at least once, but saying “Why, of course, she did,” because doesn’t everybody? On top of that, she continued to double down on the notion that it’d be practically splendid to see African Americans dressed like “servants” for a plantation-themed wedding. All things he should’ve threatened to withhold her insulin shot if she said to anyone not named Paula Deen. Turns out her lawyer is an idiot because he just tried to use the striking down of Prop 8 to get Lisa Jackson’s lawsuit thrown out because she’s not black and only black people can be offended by racism in the workplace. CNN reports:

Celebrity chef Paula Deen hopes the Supreme Court’s ruling allowing same-sex marriage to be legal in California will help in her defense against a racial discrimination lawsuit.
The woman alleging that she was subjected to a hostile work environment while working as an assistant manager at Deen’s restaurants is white and therefore doesn’t have the “standing,” or legal right, to claim racial discrimination, according to a motion filed Monday by Deen’s lawyer.

Of course, this would make sense if Lisa Jackson’s lawsuit wasn’t about being sexually harassed by Paula’s brother and, oh I dunno, pointing out that they actively discriminate against her co-workers with old timey racism which tends to make things hostile as shit:

“This lawsuit has never been about the N-word,” she said. “It is to address Ms. Deen’s patterns of disrespect and degradation of people that she deems to be inferior. I may be a white woman, but I could no longer tolerate her abuse of power as a business owner, nor her condonation of Mr. Hier’s despicable behavior on a day-to-day basis. I am what I am, and I am a human being that cares about all races, and that is why I feel it is important to be the voice for those who are too afraid to use theirs.”

*adjusts suspenders* Ladies and gentleman, I’m no big city lawyer. I don’t have a fancy law degree or a fine leather-bound briefcase, but I have read several John Grisham novels which bares no resemblance to what I’m about to say: If Paula Deen says that Lisa Jackson has no “standing” to sue for discrimination, is Paula Deen herself not admitting to said discrimination? Now I’m not accusing Ms. Deen of being a racist, mercy me, no, but I do declare her argument seems to be, “If you ain’t colored, then it ain’t no skin off your backfat what I do to colored.” And if that didn’t just win this here legal skirmish, I saw a noose in her purse. Right hand to God.

Photo: Splash News