We’re into lists this week. Lists that show just how far celebrities are up their own asses that they’ve declared themselves Queen of Sphinctertown and demand a parade in their honor. So here’s Paula Abdul list of requirements for anyone who wants to be her assistant, and let me be the first to say, how the hell is bar tending experience not one of these? Us Magazine reports:
Each assistant must carry and use a tape recorder at all times “because she doesn’t trust her own conversations,” the source says.
“She also makes them check the TiVo for any mention of her and put it on a DVD.”
Abdul team members should also prepare to go through her email — and respond to family and friends as the star herself.
The “Forever Your Girl” singer also needed constant reminders that she is a “warrior, survivor and gift,” adds the insider.
Shorter version:
1. I say crazy shit.
2. I want crazy shit.
3. See #1.
4. See #2.
There. Small enough to tattoo on their foreheads. You’re welcome.
Photos: Getty
What about references to MC Skat Kat?
Is it just me, or is she morphing into STEVEN TYLER in the face– a bit?
She must have read the inscription on that charmed ring, the one that says “In aerosmithus corpore transmuto.” I would have thought you’d have figured that out…DogBoy.
Exactly what I thought DogBoy !!!
I came here to post the same thing.
same with me. I came into the comment section thinking ‘someone’s already mentioned her looking like Tyler, and sure enough, at the top of the list.
Not good to be a woman and start to look like Steven Tyler in your old age. Especially when he’s worked on the same show.
I was gonna say
“Lady Looks Like a Dude, Who Looks Like A Lady”
Crazy and beat, but let’s face it – she hasn’t done too bad for a freaking former Laker Girl.
You bet. She’s a warrior, survivor, and gift.
What sort of modeling clay was used to construct her face? I’m looking at sculpting something I can’t jack off to.
good job
“Warrior, survivor and gift” – what does that even mean? In what way does she fight? What has she survived? Most confusingly, to whom or what is she a gift?
She fights drug & alcohol addiction, with the equivalent of a thin styrofoam sword.
No she’s not. Not even close. Keep the receipt.
All I am saying is they got paid to do it. They need to sit down and shut up. I am sure working for a high profile name looks good in anyone’s resume.
She looks like the recipient of a face transplant using Tara Reid’s leftover belly skin.
Sandra Bullock is fucking crazy! And looking really haggard and abused.
It looks like the image of Jennifer Aniston someone pulled off the newspaper with Silly-Putty.
i’d fuck her old ass, probly eat her pussy too…
ill hit it
Planet of the Apes?? …….Dang she looks like a haggard ape.
Sounds like that invocation from SNL” I’m good enough , I’m smart enough , A people like me !!!!!
I guess all hollywoodites need special affirmations of their self – worth
old lady elbows
Enough half-empty bottles every day to throw a helluva party. She won’t notice they’re missing the next day since she lives a Groundhog Day existence.
that age is ketching her up doesn’t mean she is louzy in bed………..
Meh….every asshole boss thinks this way on the list.
Ugly bitch! Inside & out.
What will she look like in 5 years? What will her support staff need to say to her then ?
Man , Needy , insecure and vain , the trifecta of hollywood!
It’s like thunder , Lightning , the way you’re looking is frightening !
She looks like Mary Tyler Moore….MTM, AFTER the 36 facelifts.
Looks like Rob Lowe has gained some weight.
u stupid bitch i dare u 2 say something bad about paula abdul. i love paula abdul she’s my girl pretty inside/outside. i’m talkin’ 2 gerbil in my butt what u like things back there u freaking ass whore. most likley ur a very ugly, mean, bitter, oldass slut.
i’ll work 4 paula abdul anytime. love u paula 4-ever my girl.
This is a photo of Steven Tyler.
She is Elmer J Fudd, millionaire. She owns a mansion and a yacht.
I used to love her as a teenager, but…she has not aged well. I wish she would just get off these television shows already. Jlo isn’t any better, but to be washed up for being popular in the late 80′s??? Enough is enough already!
Is Steven Tyler trying to be a future Bond girl? I think the last one actually had the operation.