On Paul Walker And Driving Like A Shithead

December 6th, 2013 // 238 Comments
Paul Walker

Yesterday afternoon, around 3:30, two kids in a Dodge Neon with one of those shit-ass muffler thingies sped down the road in my little half-circle development trying to drift on the corners. Several small children live here, by the way, and are often playing outside. The idiots then came back for a second pass before I burst out of my house and caught their plate number while they gawked at me like I’m the asshole as they sped away. They’re just driving their car, man? What’s the big deal?

Which brings me to Paul Walker‘s death and how no one’s talking about the American mindset on cars.

Before I even get into this, let me just say that, yes, I know Paul Walker was universally considered a nice guy who did things like secretly pay for a soldier’s engagement ring. And, yes, I know that he wasn’t driving the Porsche that left him dead last Saturday afternoon. And, no, this isn’t a post where I say I’m glad he’s dead and left behind a daughter to drive up clicks. (Please don’t Google the person who did write exactly that because then I’ll regret even typing that sentence.) But, here’s the rub, Paul Walker was part of a culture where driving a car however you want is more important than other people’s lives. Because here’s what we do know:

- The crash occurred at three in the afternoon on a public street.
- The Porsche was still going at least 90 mph on said street, so the fact they weren’t racing is irrelevant.
- There were doughnut marks found near the crash, and Roger Rodas and Paul Walker routinely tested out cars on the street for fun and profit to “see what they could do.”

So regardless of the fact that the Porsche that killed them explodes if a squirrel farts, these two have a history of driving like assholes on streets where people are just trying to get from Point A to Point B. And, no, I’m not trying to issue a referendum on your average, run of the mill speeding because even I just got popped doing 70 in a 55 on the turnpike. I’m talking about the very American mentality of, “This is my car, and I’m gonna drive it how I want,” because we’re a selfish, drooling toddler of a nation that’s running around the department store of the world unsupervised and yelling “CAR GO VROOM, GUN GO BANG!” So if you’re wondering why I haven’t really said much about Paul Walker’s death, it’s not that I’m glad he died, unlike Andrew Breitbart, it’s that I’m not entirely broken up when someone who recklessly drives a steel murderbox on wheels bites it, and I don’t really get why anyone who’s not an immediate family member would be either because fuck these idiots.

Fortunately, the lessons of Paul’s lifestyle won’t be lost on his fans, and they’ll move forward into a new age of respect for others and vehicular safety.

Or do burn-outs and doughnuts at the crash site before speeding away. Just nuke us. Somebody nuke us.

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Photo: Getty

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  1. “CAR GO VROOM, GUN GO BANG!” classic…..

  2. cops do 90+ all the time, no big deal

  3. 100% agree, Fish.

  4. Hey, what rock did you crawl out from under? Are you like an old lady with no sense of humor? I am a 55 year old female. There was a half mile stretch of a straight flat road that you had to take to get into the secluded area where we lived with about 35 other houses. That road was marked and raced as far back as I can remember. That is where we raced, had fun, and didn’t hurt anyone. If you felt like drivers are shit heads why did you wait until an experienced race driver was killed? You are the asshole, honey. Using someone’s death to purge your anger is friggin petty.

    • j/k

      “Using someone’s death to purge your anger is friggin petty.”

      THANK YOU

    • Paul Miritello

      You are a 55 year old child. The question was asked earlier in this
      thread, how would you feel if they killed a little kid in the process,
      would you consider that an acceptable loss. Your selfish way of
      thinking would dictate to me that you would, because we wouldn’t
      want to spoil your racing fun now would we. Or use his death to
      purge any anger, but the question still remains, how would you
      feel. On a personal level how about if it was your kid who was
      the victim of this unnecessary event, which I won’t call a tragedy.
      A tragedy is not something you cause yourself which is completely avoidable. We must keep Hollywood in the movie
      theater and out of real life. This guy was hell bent on this happening sooner or later in his life, because he was showing
      no signs of growing up in attitude past 18 years of age, no matter his chronological age. You want to race cars go to a track, that’s why they make them. This way the damage is to confined to yourself and not selfishly brought to innocents.
      Remember in the beginning of the article, the kids in the Neon
      doing what they were doing in the author’s neighborhood. That
      culture is enhanced in these movies and does not help the
      situation, find something more productive to do besides being
      reckless in vehicles. Go to school, become a doctor, help people, work with the red cross. There is plenty of selfless stuff
      to do to make the world a better place.

    • “There was a half mile stretch of a straight flat road that you had to take to get into the secluded area where we lived with about 35 other houses. That road was marked and raced as far back as I can remember. That is where we raced, had fun, and didn’t hurt anyone.”

      Guess what, you were irresponsible assholes who were lucky enough not to hurt or kill anyone with your irresponsible asshole behavior.

  5. Old school cars of the 60′s and 70′s are the TRUE race cars. I’m talking muscle cars not some foreign crap with neon lights.

  6. Roundhouse Kick

    Even though your viewpoint is right in this case, you’re still a lefty fag.

  7. whatever

    wow, what a resposible mind who doesn’t mind posting and re-posting pictures of nearly naked underage girls, feeding those pics to pedo’s is just as bad as driving carelessly and driving at high speeds
    walker was probably here ogling his future girlfriend prospects as you posted nearly nudes of madonna’s kid, a steve baldwin 16 year old daughter, and many others
    maybe walker ogling those pics made him want to go on a fast ride to meet them

  8. A man’s journey and his passing made him God. You can go back years, thousand years to find that true.
    How Paul Walker lived and how he died in a special circumstance made him God of Fast and Furious.
    For those who think negatively of Paul Walker God of Fast and Furious, you will never win the lottery so forget about owning an exotic car ever in your life. A Hyundai or a Ford is the best car that you can have.

  9. driving is a privilege, not a right

  10. First, douche bag, HE WASNT DRIVING. Second, considering they both died a horrible death in a flaming car it seems likely lesson learned and cautionary tale left behind without your bullshit article. Third, almost everything about your little after school special rant is speculation. You want to call out reckless drivers, that’s fine. Doubtful anyone would have a real issue with that. Using a guy who left behind a family and didn’t cause anyone else’s injury or death and had just attended a charity event, is just a low and pathetic.

  11. KCinPas

    The place where Paul Walker and Roger Rodas died is about 100 yards and around a blind curve from the place where I used to make a left turn into the business park where I then worked. I can’t tell you how many times when making that turn I’d have to abort last minute because some knucklehead testing his car out came whipping around the curve. And that was during weekdays. Since I’ve left that employer, I’d learned that the city in its wisdom raised the speed limit. Not that 35 vs 45 makes a different to someone who’s going to go 90. I’m sorry these two died, and I sincerely hope that they are the only two ever killed over there, and that if anyone else does, they don’t take out someone else just trying to get to work.

  12. I love it when Fish throws up the inflammatory posts…I just curl up with a blanket and a bowl of popcorn and read the comments. Heck of a lot cheaper than the movies!

  13. Mitch

    I was just waiting for you to compare cars to guns and how they all need to be banned.

    How about we chalk this all up to natural selection and save the self-rightous, liberal sermon.

  14. Jenn

    Fish never said Paul or his friend deserved to die.

    Some of my relatives(a lot, but I’ve got a lot of relatives) died in auto accidents, some lived through what seemed to be even worse wrecks. I don’t think any of them were more or less deserving of death.

    No matter how tragic it is, it’s about responsibility, cause and effect. I loved my relatives, and miss them, but they were just going too fucking fast. I don’t blame their deaths on anyone or anything but that.

  15. Allion

    Yup, the Americans are “a selfish, drooling toddler of a nation”, but the reason we pity Paul Walker is that he was a nice guy. A lot of good and bad people die in car crashes – the reason may be speed or alcohol or immorality.
    I really wondered why you haven’t given much time to Paul Walker’s death, now I see that it’s the cause of his death you despise. Very clever indeed.
    Next time you exceed your speed limit think about it.

  16. eh

    Children live in the neighborhood could have been outside while the guys were drifting in your cul de sac? Meaning that they weren’t actually outside. That takes the Lovejoy wife thing to the next level -Won’t somebody think of the hypothetical children?

  17. I couldn’t agree with you more Fish.

  18. The first thing I posted when I heard about what happened was ‘Don’t drive a car more powerful than you can handle, folks.’. A tonne of people liked it. Glad to see there are others who saw the situation in an objective light.

  19. Uh, believe me, this is not “American” mentality.
    If you were talking about weapons (traditional weapons, as in firearms. I acknowledge cars can be effectively considered weapons as well, but you see the point I’m making here) I’d agree, but when it comes to cars, believe me, virtually every first world country has idiots who share this mentality.

    What’s worse is that, while arms fanatics will admit that their, uh, “hobby” is dangerous to them and others, car enthusiast hardly realize how potentially lethal the are – and it certainly doesn’t help that we have shit tons of movies and ad campaigns glamourizing reckless driving .

  20. Maria

    Usually a fan of this website but I’m going to go elsewhere for a while. Paul Walker was not the driver of the car and we can’t know what happened in the moments before he died – we can only speculate. Maybe he asked the driver to stop, or maybe he asked him to go faster. Either way, he and the driver lost their lives in a brutal way. To me, thats tragic.
    I know what you’re trying to say, but I think using Walkers death to bolster your argument is really poor form. If you want to make a comment on society then don’t use the death of a celebrity to do so. He was just an actor doing his job.
    If those kids doing donuts outside your house had killed a child and then blamed it on the Fast and Furious franchise for glorifying street racing, you would write a post complaining about people using movies/video games as an excuse to commit crime. Instead, you used violent death of an actor to validate your own views on the state of the American society.
    Not cool.

  21. No Thanks

    Usually a fan of this website but I’m going to go elsewhere for a while. Paul Walker was not the driver of the car and we can’t know what happened in the moments before he died – we can only speculate. Maybe he asked the driver to stop, or maybe he asked him to go faster. Either way, he and the driver lost their lives in a brutal way. To me, thats tragic.
    I know what you’re trying to say, but I think using Walkers death to bolster your argument is really poor form. If you want to make a comment on society then don’t use the death of a celebrity to do so.
    Walker was simply an actor and was, by all reports, a good guy.
    If those kids doing donuts outside your house had killed a child and then blamed it on the Fast and Furious franchise for glorifying street racing, you would go and write a post complaining about people using movies/video games as an excuse to commit crime. As it was, you used the violent and tragic death of an actor to validate your own views on the state of the American culture.
    Not cool.

    • Charmed.

      It sounds to me like you just don’t like his views on american culture and you’re picking a soft target (celebrity death) as a way to dismiss his point.

      Walker isn’t a random american celebrity that died as a passenger in a car. He’s a figurehead of rev head movies and maintained a rev head lifestyle outside of those movies. The evidence doesn’t point to him being a passive participant – he was in the car with a racing buddy and long time friend; they jumped in from the “charity event” (aka: the car shop) and opened the car up a few blocks over. Stupid. Dead. End of story.

      Yes, it’s sad… But the PR machine to hide any suggestion of wrongdoing on Walker’s behalf has been extreme. And now a whole army of people who knew nothing about him before he died roll out the charity line and ignore the fact the car was traveling way too fucking fast in a residential zone.

  22. I live in a place where the county put in speed bumps so jackasses had to keep it under 20 in a place where kids play in the street. This also means the firetrucks also can only go 20 mph too. So I am down with you on this one.

    We lost 5000 or so in combat in Iraq, but we averaged 30,000 killed on our highways each year during that same time. That’s 210,000 highway deaths from 2003 to 2010.

    So yes, we have a problem.

  23. Juan

    Everything about America sucks. Bla bla bla. The guys death is good. bla bla bla. America sucks. Bla bla bla. America’s racist. Bla bla bla.. America’s homophobic. bla bla bla. Boobs. Lindsay Lohan. Bla bla. Britney’s retarded and fun to make fun of. Bla bla.

    Repeat.

    Every superficial article

    For all the sense of superiority this guy has, you’d think he’d be more “nuance” in his art. You’d also expect you wouldn’t find the dregs of the internet commenting on the posts. I guess those other like minded people are part of the “right thinkin” folk

  24. Will

    Porsches are known for having sticky throttles. Its a design/manufacturer defect, not a driver defect. Professional driver Sean Edwards was killed the exact same way less than two months ago.

  25. Rodzilla

    Ever since the accident, I have been reading stories about it, and how it was such a tragedy, because of what a great person Paul was. But I kept wondering why no one addressed the fact that the reason for the crash was that the driver was acting like an idiot. So thank you for bringing that up.

  26. Erin

    I lurve you, Fish.

  27. Nicole

    Wow. Done with Superficial. This was distasteful, boring and just unnecessary. Stop trying to prove yourself so hard and just write entertaining things on the internets.

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