Paul Rudd Might Be ‘Ant-Man’

“Do I look like a tiny Wolverine with these sideburns?”
“I don’t know, Emile Hirsch.”

It seems like Edgar Wright has been working on an Ant-Man movie since before Robert Downey Jr. was even Iron Man which – *snorts, adjusts glasses* – is a REALLY long time. Anyway, the movie’s set for 2015, just two months after The Avengers: Age of Ultron and will kick off Marvel’s Phase Three which apparently might rest on the shoulders of Paul Rudd. So let’s get to that before I start explaining who Hank Pym is and get even more negative laid. Variety reports:

Sources tell Variety the two actors who have emerged as front-runners to land the title role in the superhero feature are Joseph Gordon Levitt and Paul Rudd. Insiders warn there’s still a remote possibility another actor could emerge but as of now, Gordon-Levitt and Rudd are the main contenders for the film.

Sources indicate the two are expected to meet with Marvel execs and Wright one more time before a decision is made and that there’s also a possibility of another actor entering the mix.

If you’re wondering why I didn’t even bother mentioning Joseph Gordon-Levitt, it’s because he’s rumored for fucking. everything. If Warner Bros. couldn’t throw enough money at him to be Batman, there’s no way the notoriously stingy Marvel is going to talk him into anything that isn’t an indie film where he isn’t a handsome, lovable porn addict who gets to bang Scarlett Johansson. Granted, Black Widow and Ant-Man are both Avengers, she’s banging Captain America in Winter Soldier and, girlfriend, you do not go from Steve Rogers to Ant-Man. Nuh uh. In related news, I turn into a black woman the less sex I have, so here’s a funny Wolverine video before I start talking about getting my nails did.

Photo: Getty