Paul Anka Is A Crotchety Old Gangsta

Paul Anka is still alive? News to me…

The 76-year-old singer/songwriter who first found fame in the 1950’s during the doo-wop era with songs like “Diana” and “Put Your Head on My Shoulder” is apparently still booking gigs… really expensive ones, at that. Anka was scheduled to play a charity fundraiser in Palm Beach, Florida in December at the infamous Mar-A-Lago resort.

The event was for LIFE’s ‘Lady in Red’ Gala, a night of schmoozing with rich old white people to raise money for kids or dogs or something. Paul Anka was originally booked to play the gala and was given a $75,000 deposit to schlep his rusty old bones down there and sadly attempt to hit those high notes he was so well-known for as a teenager. Trouble arose when the organization hosting the event decided to back out of Mar-A-Lago after the resort’s owner decided to make some idiotic remarks about how “both sides” were responsible for Heather Heyer getting murdered by a white supremacist. It’s interesting to me that that was their tipping point, but whatever.

Anyway they moved the party to early January and now Paul Anka is giving charity organizers a gangsta reality check.

Anka, who has an 11-year-old son and nine grandchildren, is going on a European vacation in January. When LIFE organizers asked if the deposit could go toward a performance next year, his agent allegedly said, “This is not negotiable. You will not get a penny back.”

“I run a small business. I’ve got overhead. I’ve got people on salary,” Anka told me. “They’re guilt-tripping me, asking me to take a hit, but we didn’t cause the problem. They need to eat it. It’s their problem.” (From PageSix)

DAAAMNN, Anka! Ice cold, homie! They’re just trying to help the kids, but ditch that jive daddy-o! (That’s how doo-woppers talk, right?) You’ve got a plane to catch to Tuscany though, I get it – those negronis aren’t going to drink themselves after all!

Honestly, I’m probably more on Anka’s side with this one. If you’re going to pay a performer for a date in December and then decide to change it to January because you JUST realized Trump was a racist, that’s bullshit and you should be prepared to eat that cost. What’s even more low-down is that this organization, who chose Mar-A-Lago in the first place, has taken Anka’s business to PageSix to try and slag his name. They know that they’re not getting those 75 G’s back so they might as well make him pay in public shame.

Jokes on those rich old white folks, though – we already assumed Paul Anka was a crotchety old man anyway and no one really cares. Get that money, Paul. You’re a legend.