Patrick Stewart Will Insult Any Belly He Wants, You Jonas Brother Loving… Belly

James Corden is about to be named Craig Ferguson’s replacement on The Late Late Show, but nobody gives a shit about that, so here’s a better story that’s emerged from it because the Internet runs on Patrick Stewart almost as much as it runs on porn. I’ve done studies. Anyway, here’s the time Captain Picard got drunk at a British awards show and repeatedly made fun of James Corden’s gut right to his face because apparently Professor X hates fatties which is something I’ve always suspected. Christ, Cyclops is almost zero percent body fat. Just look at those obliques. You could practically eat off of them… “Storm! Hold my calls. *goes to unzip pants* Oh, right, paralyzed from the waist down. Never mind! I’ll take them.” (h/t Uproxx)

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