Pat Robertson: ‘Gay Marriage Will Lead to Angel Rape’
…. Okay, maybe.
When we last left Pat Robertson he was a pot-smoking hippie calling for the legalization of marijuana. Six months of adjusting his medication later, he’s back to the old Pat we all know and love. This time around he’s seeing David Tyree’s anarchy talk and raising him angel rape. Via Mediaite:
This week, Robertson’s fear that America will be destroyed has been stirred by New York legalizing same-sex unions. On the 700 Club this week, Robertson reminded his audience that the last city known for homosexuality, Sodom, had residents willing to rape visiting angels.
“We need to remember the term sodomy came from a town that was known as Sodom, and Sodom was destroyed by God Almighty,” Robertson noted by way of explanation. Sodom’s sin, he noted, was “homosexual activity,” apparently a gateway drug to “tr[ying] to rape angels that came down there.”
Of course, most mainstream Christians will just dismiss Pat as one of “the crazy ones” who give Christianity a bad name except he’s quoting the fucking Bible which is always right. Turn with us now to the book of Genesis, chapter 19, verses one through 11:
1 Now the two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them, and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground. 2 And he said, “Here now, my lords, please turn in to your servant’s house and spend the night, and wash your feet; then you may rise early and go on your way.”
And they said, “No, but we will spend the night in the open square.”
3 But he insisted strongly; so they turned in to him and entered his house. Then he made them a feast, and baked unleavened bread, and they ate.
4 Now before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both old and young, all the people from every quarter, surrounded the house. 5 And they called to Lot and said to him, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may know them carnally.”
6 So Lot went out to them through the doorway, shut the door behind him, 7 and said, “Please, my brethren, do not do so wickedly! 8 See now, I have two daughters who have not known a man; please, let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish; only do nothing to these men, since this is the reason they have come under the shadow of my roof.”
9 And they said, “Stand back!” Then they said, “This one came in to stay here, and he keeps acting as a judge; now we will deal worse with you than with them.” So they pressed hard against the man Lot, and came near to break down the door. 10 But the men reached out their hands and pulled Lot into the house with them, and shut the door. 11 And they struck the men who were at the doorway of the house with blindness, both small and great, so that they became weary trying to find the door.
For those of you who skip right to the bottom part, basically a bunch of people in Sodom demanded to rape two angels in the butt only to have Lot come to their aid by offering his two virgin daughters to be raped instead which pleased the angels prompting them to blind the fuck out of the walnut bandits. And that’s how you beat gay marriage. Now, get on the wire, and tell them how to bring these sons of bitches down. HOORAH!
Photos: Splash News