Paris Hilton’s virginity mystery solved

March 27th, 2007 // 94 Comments
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Comments (94)

  1. gambitzero | March 27, 2007 at 8:34 am

    First. Just so no one else can have it

    Reply
  2. no1justminda | March 27, 2007 at 8:34 am

    All of a sudden she likes to pretend she has boobs…it’s silly.

    Reply
  3. gambitzero | March 27, 2007 at 8:37 am

    Now That First crap is over. I’ve always wondered about Paris. I mean would you hit that or not. And disregard the myriad or diseases you would catch.

    Reply
  4. veggi | March 27, 2007 at 8:37 am

    I don’t understand. Did we just find out Paris is from the moon?

    I shouldn’t have drank so much last night… ugggg!

    Reply
  5. Z-Star | March 27, 2007 at 8:40 am

    Bah, not a day goes by without something ridiculous revealed about this attention whore of a woman….a nasty woman.

    Reply
  6. flavio | March 27, 2007 at 8:41 am

    I am really, really surprised that the general public hasn’t made more, or at least some, of a big deal about Paris’ breast implants. Those are not her ta-ta’s!! Since when do boobs grow that much overnite and the media remains silent? Is this America anymore???

    Reply
  7. veggi | March 27, 2007 at 8:42 am

    I’m trying my very best to keep my veggi sandwich down, but looking at that corpse fondle that alien transvestite induces my gag reflex.

    Reply
  8. schack | March 27, 2007 at 8:44 am

    hahahaha

    Reply
  9. schack | March 27, 2007 at 8:45 am

    nice dress, though- on the thing next to the corpse. really nice dress.

    Reply
  10. mismint | March 27, 2007 at 8:48 am

    The new boobs are just another step in her gender reassignment…one day Paris you will be a ‘real’ woman.

    Reply
  11. bex* | March 27, 2007 at 8:51 am

    Now is it me or has her sister got new mystery boobs too??

    Maybe they got a 4 for 2 deal!?

    Reply
  12. potentiial | March 27, 2007 at 8:51 am

    When did Paris’s boobs come?

    Reply
  13. Ossie19 | March 27, 2007 at 8:51 am

    I thought for sure she would have lost her virginity when she was 11 or 12. I guess she was probably the slut 6th grader touching boy’s penises for lunch money. Not because she needed the money but because it looked good on her resume.

    Reply
  14. almostfamous | March 27, 2007 at 8:52 am

    I like the one where she’s dancing and all the guys around her are actually just ignoring her. And her watch is apparently ridiculously huge

    Reply
  15. MethodX | March 27, 2007 at 8:53 am

    Check out the feeders on Paris. Did she get those for her birthday or ‘just because?’

    Reply
  16. leezastudio | March 27, 2007 at 8:55 am

    so Firecrotch dying her hair fucking blond is more news, like all over the globe news, than herpies whore getting breast implants, i mean, who did she pay to keep this freaking quiet, i mean, they are there and they are huge and they are plastic, ‘cmon, this is not big news anymore, WAAaaaa

    Reply
  17. Sheva | March 27, 2007 at 8:55 am

    Didn’t think there was anything wrong with the original pair but if that’s what you need to do to compensate for the herp down below and the cooters running around, okay go ahead.

    Now we’ll have dozens of pictures of her and every other one will be her staring at her taters.

    Just when you thought an attention whore can get no worse.

    Reply
  18. xeurohottiex | March 27, 2007 at 8:56 am

    Damn that skank is really ugly. Who are the morons who keep taking pictures of this ugly prostitute.

    Reply
  19. Binky | March 27, 2007 at 8:56 am

    She still says that’s the only spelling she remembers from school.

    Reply
  20. veggi | March 27, 2007 at 8:58 am

    19- hahahahah!!!

    Reply
  21. schack | March 27, 2007 at 8:59 am

    y’all- it COULD just be those silicone bra inserts. everytime we’ve seen the tittays this big, it’s always been with a bra. until we see bikini shots, we don’t know for sure.

    Reply
  22. JaeMae | March 27, 2007 at 9:00 am

    #13- “looked good on her resume” HA!

    Paris cracks me up because shes so nasty, yet she always has that look on her face like shes the hottest woman alive.

    Reply
  23. tasje | March 27, 2007 at 9:01 am

    Unless i see some photographic evidence, i won’t believe she’s got implants. Anyone know the release date of her new home-vid?

    Reply
  24. veggi | March 27, 2007 at 9:03 am

    That boy can dance!

    Reply
  25. Theserbian | March 27, 2007 at 9:03 am

    She looks like a cheap male prostitute. The fake boobs are the cherries on the cake.

    She’s gross, the more I look at her, the more I am in love with Bruce Willis daugther.

    Reply
  26. chiris | March 27, 2007 at 9:05 am

    Good one, Binky #19 LOL

    Reply
  27. schack | March 27, 2007 at 9:10 am

    rumer is beautiful. and paris has a lazy eye. and binky, really good.

    Reply
  28. bungoone | March 27, 2007 at 9:12 am

    i’m not convinced either. look at the profile shot, there’s nothing there because she’s smooshed what little she had in & up.

    Reply
  29. veggi | March 27, 2007 at 9:13 am

    schack…

    a lazy eye……………..

    and a penis.

    Reply
  30. IFuckingHateYou | March 27, 2007 at 9:19 am

    Rumor Wills – fugly horse.

    Paris Hilton – fugly tranny.

    At least now we know what happened to Paris, all that Spelling ugly oozed all over her.

    Reply
  31. veggi | March 27, 2007 at 9:21 am

    Tori must be pissed!

    Reply
  32. supafreak | March 27, 2007 at 9:21 am

    The longer Hef touches her, the more the life is sucked out of him.

    She actually looks great…..unitl you have see her her head on.

    Reply
  33. DrPhowstus | March 27, 2007 at 9:24 am

    This stupid bitch could be jumping on a trampoline during a fucking 9.0 earthquake and still could get her tits to bounce. All that styrofoam in her bra has increased her body weight by 50% at least. It’s sad really, because all of the tit you see there is literally all the tit she has.

    Fish, please show pics of Bai Ling’s tits. Interestingly enough, I think I’ll do take out for lunch.

    Reply
  34. schack | March 27, 2007 at 9:27 am

    well, maybe all this bra stuffing is in preparation for the real thing. maybe she thinks we won’t notice if we get used to them looking that way.

    paris has a retractable penis.

    Reply
  35. blondewithnobrain | March 27, 2007 at 9:37 am

    i think she got the implants for 2 reasons…1) Kim Kardashian’s monster knockers steal her limelight 2) Hef has been trying to get her in Playboy for a while now and she’s always said “no”, and i think she wouldn’t do it because she was always so small on top…i think she’s getting ready to say “yes”. My guess is she’ll be in Playboy within a year.

    Reply
  36. fergernauster | March 27, 2007 at 9:40 am

    Look at Hef. Just look at him.

    That geriatric, cod-lipped tycoon is still going strong. Guess that’s what banging (or at least pretending to bang) harems of 25 yr.-old blonde starlets can do for you.

    Too bad when he dies, he’s going directly to hell.

    Reply
  37. Jimbo | March 27, 2007 at 9:40 am

    There is no way you can stuff enough toilet paper in her bra to get her tits to look that big.

    Reply
  38. jrzmommy♠ | March 27, 2007 at 9:40 am

    I like little bits of chopped hardboiled egg in my tuna salad! Delish!!

    Reply
  39. WTFiswrongwithUppl | March 27, 2007 at 9:42 am

    Now Paris is going after Holly’s man. Ooh I see a major catfight coming on!

    Reply
  40. schack | March 27, 2007 at 9:50 am

    holly looks like a cartoon.

    Reply
  41. New York Pundit | March 27, 2007 at 9:56 am

    I still say her mamma Kathy is still hotter…

    Reply
  42. whitegold | March 27, 2007 at 10:11 am

    “He’s so ugly I imagine he’d be too afraid of himself to even masturbate.” That was hillarious haha!!!

    I never knew this Randy Spelling guy even existed! And why is he going around talking about other celebrities? Is this his big attempt to get his name in the gossip pages?

    And why does Paris keep looking really hot in pictures these days? It makes it very hard to understand how to feel about her?!

    Reply
  43. ch474 | March 27, 2007 at 10:19 am

    Why does Hef seem to be saying “Fresh meat … urgh … fresh meat good … must eat fresh meat”?

    Reply
  44. jhndillion | March 27, 2007 at 10:28 am

    I heard him say this on the Howard Stern show, it was a very interesting interview, especially Rod Stewart’s kid talking about looking at his stop-mom sunbathing…

    Reply
  45. kamihi | March 27, 2007 at 10:30 am

    ugh this man looks like her dead grandfather they have the sae ugly nose, this man is sick, much much sicker than her.

    Reply
  46. B_rightside | March 27, 2007 at 10:37 am

    Has she gotten implants? There’s no way those tiny tits could ever look that big.

    Reply
  47. supersimbo | March 27, 2007 at 10:40 am

    she MUST have got a boob job……….they are like twice the size the used to be

    Reply
  48. Spindoc | March 27, 2007 at 10:45 am

    Puh-LEEZ!

    She is doing him a favor since they are friends by lying for him. He is a homo, she is helping him out by backing up the story.

    Reply
  49. licklick | March 27, 2007 at 10:49 am

    Like her lower lip makes me puke like I’d rather fuck that funny corpse next to her than like. Like.

    Lick. Lick. not.

    Reply
  50. licklick | March 27, 2007 at 10:55 am

    And like Bai LIng has got as much sexy as a withered tit.

    Lick. Lick. yuck.

    Reply

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