Paris Hilton’s little brother gets DUI

February 12th, 2008 // 60 Comments

Barron Hilton got his first DUI at 8:30 AM PST today in Malibu. The 18-year-old brother of Paris Hilton is currently being booked at Lost Hill’s Sheriff station. That’s the same station where Mel Gibson decided “sugar tits” was a great nickname for his arresting officer. TMZ reports:

Cops tell TMZ he was driving a black Mercedes on Pacific Coast Highway with a passenger — not one of his sisters– when he was pulled over at a 76 gas station.

While being arrested, Barron pleaded with the cops: “Please. I’ll get you anything. Money. Cars. Uh, my sister Paris will sleep with you!” Several officers drew their guns until Barron rescinded the offer. A forty year veteran of the force went home shaking. He’d worked homicide and saw things that would make a grown man weep like a baby. But an offer like this? Jesus, where is the humanity?

Photo: Splash News
superficial

  1. First!

    First suckas!!!!

  2. First!!!!

    FIRST!!!!!

  3. CONDOM MAN DOES NOT APPROVE OF PARIS’S VA-JAY-JAY

  4. Snarf

    Tyra Banks craps her pants and threatens to sue a cancer patient last week and here we are getting stories about Paris Hilton’s little brother.

    Fat bitches are crapping their pants and all we hear about all day is Hilton, Britney, Lohan, Hilton, Britney, Lohan, Winehouse, Hilton, Britney, Lohan…

    What kind of bullshit is that? Where the fuck are you getting your stories from?

  5. Proud family heritage…..
    not

  6. PoohEater

    Boy, he must really like sunglasses.

  7. beerdotcom

    #4: Well sadi, who gives a flying fuck about Paris Hiltons brother? Who gives a flying fuck about Paris Hilton for that matter? Habing said that, the write up foer this was pretty funny.

  8. D4P

    Someone get this kid a reality show. Stat!

  9. beerdotcom

    #4: Well said, who gives a flying fuck about Paris Hiltons brother? Who gives a flying fuck about Paris Hilton for that matter? Habing said that, the write up foer this was pretty funny.

  10. That is SO classic. So much more interesting then what gas station Britney Spears is currently at…

  11. nipolian

    Only one DUI and he’s 18……..What a fucking lightweight.

  12. Spazz

    What a classy, normal, grounded family this is.

  13. This poor family and their tragedies.

    They are exactly like the Kennedys.

    Exactly.

  14. fergernauster

    Shit! (pun intended)… Tyra Banks shat her pants? When? Where? Why?

    Enquiring, twisted minds NEED to know…

    Where is the link?

  15. veggiwhore

    How unfortunate. I mean his hair and choice of t-shirt..

  16. Hanna

    Hopefully there will be a story today about Britney holding some type of beverage.

  17. CNN

    Tyra didn’t shit her pants. She was unaware that she was pregnant (“I’M NOT FAT! STOP CAUSING GIRLS TO DIE FROM EATING DISORDERS!”) until a son dropped out during a fashion show. Being black, he resembled…well, you know…do I wipe it or do I raise it (as if), no’m sayin?

  18. nerd

    My monitor gets a BAC of .16 on those pimples alone.

  19. Ted from LA

    Barron? What kind of rich people name their kid Barron? Is his middle name Von? Why not just tattoo “Kick Me in the Nuts” to his forehead. 8:30 am? Shouldn’t he be drunk in school?

  20. That’s funny, fish said his “first” DUI. Kinda like introducing your spouse as your first husband..

  21. Cap'n Pickles

    The poor kid just got drunk from eating out big sis’s pickled twat. Why do you think thier Mom looks so wasted all the time.

  22. Roger Clemens

    Man, somebody needs to step in and get that kid off the steroids.

  23. Tapeworm

    Someone should kick this pussy in his cunt. Throw him in jail & let him get gang-raped. Then we’ll talk about justice being blind to the rich.

  24. Ted to LA

    When your insanely rich grandfather is named Barron it’s not so bad, especially from the “favorite grandson” angle.

  25. Gerald_Tarrant

    Unless I miss my guess, the legal drinking age in CA is 21. I’m not 100% on that but…..

    So, good for Barron, way to live up to the spolied little rich idiot stereotype.

  26. Sid

    Tapeworm – this is no time to take a break, get back to your important work at the U. N.

  27. PTSD

    For this kids sake I hope herpes aren’t hereditary.

  28. Confirmed once more: Hilton kids are vermin.

    Funny write ups lately, but I’d like to know more about Tyra Banks PHAT turds.

  29. Hey Old People!

    Lots of 18 year olds drink and drive, just like you did. I hope you’re not planning to overspend on a mahogany casket because really, what’s the point?

  30. Grunion

    He wasn’t drunk he was trying to get away from Brandy. Cause that bitch will straight up kill you.

  31. Guy

    Nice hair…

  32. causeyourhot.com

    SAVE BRITNEY

  33. Judy Garland

    Must be rough, underage drinking at 8 in the fucking morning. The parents should be dragged naked through the streets behind an ox cart full of shit so they fully understand what the rest of us are putting up with…

  34. uglypeoplesafaris

    about time

  35. Veroonica

    28. Tyra calls them her “Baby Phats”.

    33. Thanks for the fantasy. I’ll be daydreaming about that scenario the rest of the workday!

  36. whatever

    Solid parenting. The Hilton and Spears parents have done a fine job of raising children with so much to contribute to society. It’s absolutely awe-inspiring!

  37. D. Richards

    Sadly, do you know what this means, crowd? The Hilton name will not die with Paris and Nicky; no, the Hilton’s have a son.

    Let us pray for Barron’s impotence, and, or, homosexuality.

  38. HollyJ

    Nice acne

  39. Nick

    I wonder how this is going to affect the opening weekend of his movie, Charlie Bartlett?

  40. Cap'n Pickles

    37. I wouldn’t worry. judging by that shirt, he’s a pole smoker.

  41. Auntie Kryst

    “first DUI” nice touch Fish.

    @13 The Hilton fucks are NOTHING like the Kennedy’s. Don’t despoil their name in the same sentence as the Hilton’s. Sure the Kennedy’s are all booze hounds, and that’s a great thing. They are not, however self-absord shitbags like the fucking Hiltons.

  42. Britney Brimley

    I see the apple doesn’t fall far from the skank.

  43. Abbadon

    BARON VON DORKENSTEIN!!

    Poor tool. looks like he still let mommy dress him in horrible retro-80s kids clothing. Poor bastard has no chance in life. Luckily, he has granddaddy name, and with that suckupness, maybe his coin. Lucky beotch.

  44. Barron

    Geez, he has ruined my last name “Barron”… Frist, you are hilarious! Love the 20# comment!

  45. Danny Friedman

    you little bitch! I just bought that t-shirt!!!

  46. FRESH FISH!!! His balloon knot is gonna be ripped open wider than the Lincoln Tunnel when the Sistas are done with him.

  47. Reese Witherspoon

    He looks a lot like my ex-husband.

  48. Anexio

    Oh god, I know I’m late to this story but I am flying, right now, out to LA and am going to commit a serious crime just I can get a chance to get thrown in jail. Once there I am going to totally bang Barron in the ass until he begs for more.

    BTW, he looks nothing like he does in his movies, Talledega Nights and Borat.

    What the eff is up with that?

  49. Optomistic

    His first of many DUI’s in the following years I have NO doubt

  50. FRT

    Too fucking bad he didn’t drive his Benz off of the Pacific Coast Hwy into the Ocean! One less fucked up Hilton to worry about…actually it would have been a double whammy if his fucked up sister was in the back seat at the same time. Two birds with one stone! Geez….must be nice tooling around in a 100k Benz at 18 fucking drunk out of your pea brain mind! And to think…one day he and Paris will be running the whole fucking Hilton Hotel chain…???

    “If you need us…we’ll be in the lounge 24/7!”

    Remind me to NEVER STAY IN A HILTON HOTEL…!!!

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