Somebody broke into Paris Hilton’s house that she earned all by herself thanks to a healthy dose of hard work and karma. The burglary took place early this morning and with surprising ease, according to TMZ:
According to cops, a man in a hooded sweatshirt forced entry into her front door and ransacked her bedroom. Preliminary reports indicate $2 mil in jewelry and other belongings were taken.
So, $2 million in jewelry, but she can’t spring for ADT. Social Darwinism, I love you.
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Sharla | December 19, 2008 at 1:54 pm
The whole time she was in the bed saying: “I’m over here.. Are you here to rape me? Oh, no, please don’t rape me! Hey, wait! you are leaving? I thought you were going to… oh shit… lost another one…”
http://internetmiscellanea.blogspot.com/
Obama the Messiah | December 19, 2008 at 1:57 pm
I did it. I am just trying to “Spread the Wealth”.
b | December 19, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Its about time i get what i wanted for christmas!!
BigSteamyOne | December 19, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Wow, she is one unlucky person , guess she will have to make another crappy burger commercial to make up for her loss.
Famous Plastic | December 19, 2008 at 2:01 pm
It was Greasy Bear…or a publicity stunt…
whattheFFFF | December 19, 2008 at 2:04 pm
don’t tell me she doesn’t have a security system or cameras on that multi-million dollar property. if she doesn’t have anything like that….wow, she totally deserved this.
bakinmycake | December 19, 2008 at 2:04 pm
2 million in fake jewelry….thats a whole lotta nothin
Ted Mosby | December 19, 2008 at 2:05 pm
He forced entry and went for the bedroom? Probably Herpes Rage.
necessaryROUGHness | December 19, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Insured: next story
SouthAfricanHotti | December 19, 2008 at 2:12 pm
South Africa Rocks…….
Uncle Eccoli | December 19, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Nobody but the queen should have that much in jewels in the first place.
Anonymous | December 19, 2008 at 2:22 pm
The guy ransacked her bedroom? He’s going to need a good scrubbing.
p0nk | December 19, 2008 at 2:24 pm
probably the same people that stole her Faberge Egg a while back.
jt | December 19, 2008 at 2:26 pm
one word: jared’s
havoc | December 19, 2008 at 2:26 pm
I’d dip all that fucking jewelry in bleach.
Just in case….
.
Truth doctor | December 19, 2008 at 2:30 pm
OJ did it
Vince Lombardi | December 19, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Bwah-ha-ha-ha-haaa!
grobpilot | December 19, 2008 at 2:43 pm
He saw her lying in bed and was thinking of tapping her, then remembered all the shit he’s read about her on this site and thought, “hey, I can make off with $2 mil AND keep my dick” and walked away.
Mr. Jones | December 19, 2008 at 2:44 pm
All they need to do is scan suspects for signature viruses and bacteria.
They can catch him herpe-handed.
Kurgen99 | December 19, 2008 at 2:45 pm
At least we’ll get another sex tape out of it…
angielee | December 19, 2008 at 2:51 pm
lol, i cant help but laugh after she just blabbed about how awesome her house is in the previous post
angielee | December 19, 2008 at 2:51 pm
lol, i cant help but laugh after she just blabbed about how awesome her house is in the previous post
Plobes | December 19, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Ha ha!!!!
Vince Lombardi | December 19, 2008 at 2:52 pm
My guess is: During her long 22-day stay in jail, PH befriended the suspect, gave her home address, phone number, IM name, and her alarm code to her new friend – let’s call her “Lindsey” – and invited her to drop by any time. So “Lindsey” got out of jail, see? She told her lesbian pal – let’s call her “Sam” – about Paris’s invitation. So “Sam,” being someone who prefers to dress and characterize herself as the dominant male role in the relationship, dropped by as per the personal invitation. Sam, feeling that it was Christmas and she hadn’t gotten anything for “Lindsey,” decided to “borrow” some stuff.
It’s all good clean lesbian fun.
chickdowntown | December 19, 2008 at 2:52 pm
After that, the hooded robber continued on his rampage and robbed another CHICKDOWNTOWN
Is that Tito Ortiz? | December 19, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Wow! Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson look so healthy in your photographs!
KC | December 19, 2008 at 2:55 pm
You might want to goggle the difference between “robbery” and “burglary.”
MC | December 19, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I love how karma has come back to take shit she doesn’t deserve.
dork | December 19, 2008 at 3:05 pm
I guess her karma wasn’t good enough for a house with a safe.
Just for spite, the burglar probably took all the dresses she was saving for her kids… I would.
dragon43078 | December 19, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Nice scam. You get/inherit/suck for, 2 million in jewelry, buy 200 dollars in fake jewerly, have the fake stolen and claim insurance on 2 million real stuff. Nice.
Dar | December 19, 2008 at 3:39 pm
$2 mil in jewelry. $0 on security.
Gotta love people who are rich and stupid. Eventually, they’re just stupid.
Dan | December 19, 2008 at 4:05 pm
“So, $2 million in jewelry, but she can’t spring for ADT.”
That’s because this never actually happened. Her publicist himself might’ve done it; I dunno. There’s no jewelry. Her only point of interest is that she’s “rich”–her family’s rich. She’s low on cash and if everyone knows it, she’ll have to do the whole “Britney Spears crazy” thing to keep interest.
They phoned in a fake report to try to convince everyone that she had $2 million in jewelry just lying around. She didn’t. She doesn’t. She never did.
RIP Superficial | December 19, 2008 at 4:37 pm
thanks for the chuckle #24…see people? that’s actually funny.
It reminds me of the old superficial writer…Vince Lombardi, why aren’t you writing in this site?
New Superficial writer: You are not funny. Get out.
Eva | December 19, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Oh puleeze!
I remember the Mothers Day gifts that were stolen from Paris before she could have given her mom, supposedly containing $10,000 worth of stuff. Gimme a break.
The only things Paris had that was worth stealing was the engagement rings that Paris Latsis gave her: a $5 million 24 carat canary diamond ring and a $2.1 million 15 carat white diamond ring. I think she sold those on Ebay.
We all know everything else (the real jewelry) is pretty much borrowed from Jacob the Jeweler.
blank | December 19, 2008 at 4:42 pm
She hid the jewelry in her crouch cause, yes, there’s just that much room for penis, i mean things.
fearsarewishes | December 19, 2008 at 4:57 pm
goggle = Google
crouch = crotch
JFC, I hate you morons
nommer | December 19, 2008 at 4:59 pm
does no one else notice how weird her right hand looks?
mm | December 19, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Ha, there’s her karma.
Bob Frapples | December 19, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Not buying the story.
No one has ever had to “force entry into her front door”.
BooooooYAH!
boo | December 19, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Hasn’t this been done before? I seem to recall Lindsay claiming a purse with jewels being stolen. These pubicity whores need to come up with a new schtick. Rehab, jail, drunk driving, pornos, millions of dollars of jewels stolen, fake weddings, fake lesbian relationships. It’s ALL getting old.
n | December 19, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Yeah…what is up with her arms in pic 1??? How is that possible?
PostmortemG | December 19, 2008 at 6:52 pm
“These pubicity whores need to come up with a new schtick. Rehab, jail, drunk driving, pornos, millions of dollars of jewels stolen, fake weddings, fake lesbian relationships. It’s ALL getting old.”
I agree. I think the only kind of publicity stunt that will arouse my interest in these whores now, is nothing less than violent physical injury.
hahahahahaha !!!!! | December 19, 2008 at 7:12 pm
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that’s hot fuckers.
lindary | December 19, 2008 at 7:39 pm
She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?
indiana | December 19, 2008 at 7:50 pm
You don’t mean Social Darwinism. You mean Darwinism. Social Darwinism pertains to ethnic and racial groups; Darwinism to individuals.
mimi | December 19, 2008 at 8:19 pm
After all those pictures of Kim Kardashaskank, Paris Herpes Hilton looks good. That’s how disgusting and nasty that maggot Kim K is.
Pray for Amy!
1moreidiotintheworld | December 19, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Who fucking cares??? Paris losing 2 million in jewelry is like one of us losing a dollar in a Pepsi Machine….. at least we can get the satisfaction of kicking the shit out of the machine.
Vince Lombardi | December 19, 2008 at 9:32 pm
@41 – There’s a chick on PH’s right holding her arm – leather sleeve. PH has bare arms. Otherwise, yeah, physically impossible.
lonelilylana | December 19, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Actually the vapid cunt left her front door unlocked.
theOutsider | December 19, 2008 at 11:18 pm
So:
Breaks in.
Finds the bedroom in which I am assuming to be a fairly large house with more than 1 bedroom.
In the bedroom, finds the $2million of jewelry.
Bounces out and doesn’t get caught by the police.
But they know he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt?
Maybe the actual story explains that, but I’m too lazy to click through and see, so I am going to assume it doesn’t and I am awesome.