Paris Hilton’s CD is a flop

August 29th, 2006 // 105 Comments
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Just in case you completely lost faith in humanity, Paris Hilton’s album Paris is reportedly a raging flop. So far it’s sold only 75,000 copies in its first week compared to Christina Aguilera’s 320,000, and projected sales for next week are 30,000 – which is a larger than normal second week drop.

“The international outlook is not much better for her,” one industry source told Page Six. “The international people are not inclined to do a big push since she can’t back up the album with a tour. Obviously, she can’t sing live.” The source added that Hilton was advised a year ago to train her voice, work with choreographers and learn an instrument to prepare for a limited tour, but “obviously she didn’t listen.” Hilton’s rep, Elliot Mintz, said, “To me, [the album] sounds huge. For a newcomer, this is incredibly impressive.”

I’m glad Paris Hilton’s CD is failing, but 75,000 still seems like 74,996 sales too many. This isn’t like Joey Fatone releasing a solo album because at least he’s technically a singer. This is Paris Hilton we’re talking about. Paris Hilton. My butcher is more qualified to record an album than she is. And he was born without a mouth.

superficial

  1. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    #100. Brilliant. Much more enjoyable to watch. She’s put so many small furry rodents in that pussy of hers she’s turned into a chipmunk!

  2. ToiletDuck

    Fuck all of you – her CD is AWESOME…I use it to scrape up dog turds in my backyard that the scooper can’t get – it’s also great for cleaning that black gunk around the bottom of my toilet that the brush can’t get – so just fuck off and quit picking on Paris, because her CD fuckin’ ROCKS, ‘kay??

  3. ToiletDuck

    She should have called the CD “Wet Panties” and included a pair of her used panties along with the CD – I am not a marketing guru by any means, but I am sure it would boost sales and a lot of 40-something single guys would have something to sniff besides the bicycle seats at the local Catholic Girls’ School…

  4. i just wanted her ot have some sort of career besides ‘party airhead’. I mean, if im going to have to look at her every day when i visit this site, i want her to at least pretend to be famous for a talent.

  5. nice…..but still, 25% of christina’s share is not that bad…..

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