Let me a take a stab at what’s going on here: Paris Hilton’s magical bra, which in defiance of God’s Will makes her appear to have cleavage, is running low on unicorn tears. That, or her breasts are made of slowly melting ice cream. The flavor? Ben & Jerry’s New “V.D. Cone Home.” Look for it in your grocer’s freezer.
EDIT: Apparently, with the boob droopage in full effect, Paris tried to hook up with recently single soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo only to be shot down, according to the Daily Mail. Benji Madden would be pissed except he realizes he’s Benji Madden and is just happy to touch a vagina.
Thanks to Tom for the tip on Paris’ crash and burn. I love a good heartwarming tale.
Photos: Pacific Coast News
the important bit of news here is that Cristiano Ronaldo is single. And to #49, it’s no secret that he bats (kicks and scores) for both teams.
I still dont understand why this chick is famous..
So what if her Dad owns a hotel chain.
Anyone know what the Wendy’s Restaurant chick looks like?
Paris Hilton = pathetic, wanna-be, anorexic looking, fake-as-all-hell poser…
and worse yet are the people that chase her down to take her picture.
…or those that post her on their websites.
ugh.. or those that comment about her..
I agree with your guys that this is maybe the best she has ever looked, although I still think she looks like shit. Her boobs look way gross. It is definitely a push-up and almost out bra. She looks bony and nasty as usual, with protruding bones. Yuck! And she still has diseases I am sure.
I was gonna say she looks pretty fucking good here, but that was covered umpteen times already. I guess the old “even a blind squirrel can find a nut” mantra works here…
She’s trying to do an Amy Winehouse, all twisted up pose. Since Amy’s been getting a lot of press and Paris has been on the decline, she probably thought posing like Amy would get her some publicity.
She used chicken breast fillets to fill up her bosom’s appearance
What? No Hot Topic-esque skull and crossbones? At least she did something right with this look… that necklace is gorgeous. She even matched the wonky eye to the wonky boobs this time!
She’s still nothing but a piece of used up trash!!!
I’d do her just as long as I could sell the video – I need to pay off student loans.
I really hate these people talking about the celebrities or rich men joined the famous sugar daddy and sugar baby service ???www.S u g a r d a d d y C o n n e c t. c o m???. Could you people please have a break??
actually, she got breast implants a while ago. http://www.makemeheal.com/news/images/paris-hilton-breast-implants-bathing-suit.jpg
actually, she got breast implants a while ago. http://www.makemeheal.com/news/images/paris-hilton-breast-implants-bathing-suit.jpg
http://www.phreaked.wordpress.com
I was actually reading up on the yesterday! I was in the process of applying for a celeb writing site and wrote this sample only to have the damn craigslist e-mail not work anymore. Hope you don’t mind if I post, figured might as well not go to waste:
Title:Ooooooh, barracuda!!!
Sinking to, well, her usual low, Paris Hilton attempted to give a lap dance to a cripple: injured soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo. Thank God it wasn’t one of the homeless guys she’s been taking home lately (insert skeevy photo of Benji Madden here).
Paris Hilton, ladies and gentleman, humanitarian.
Feeling frisky on Tuesday night at Villa, Hilton downed her 60th shot and headed over to slur sweet nothings in Ronaldo’s ear.
“Paris was all over him. The moment he arrived, she went over to his private table. At one point, she pushed her chest together and made a point of trying to snuggle up against him,” a socialitelife.com source is blabbing.
First off, it’s a private table for a reason. It’s meant to keep riffraff at bay. That would be you, Sluterella. Secondly, WHAT chest?!
Ronaldo, to his credit, showed that just because he is temporarily handicapped doesn’t mean he has the same mental deficiencies as Hilton’s past lovers/coochie crusaders.
I can just hear the begging: “C’mon Cris, I’ll let you bring your crutches to bed, I’m sure we can think of something to do with them.” (insert money shot of Paris’ ass here)
It would be a change-up for Hilton considering I’m sure she’s the one used to just laying there like a blow up doll. But who better than a man who can’t run to try out that ‘new’ reverse-missionary style she read up on in Cosmo??
Ew.
you put in your push-up pads upside down you fn dummy!
everyone has already seen her boobs so why would she try and trick everyone now?
everyone has already seen her boobs so why would she try and trick everyone now?
everyone has already seen her boobs so why would she try and trick everyone now?
That is one sad looking wonky-eyed bitch.
Why are you guys hating her so much? I mean yeah, she’s an heiress, she likes to party, etc. But anywho, if she did get an enhancement, then good for her. If so, they don’t really look all that fake and seem to go well with her body. Or maybe she went on birth control, since she has a boyfriend, and it causes a lot of women to increase a cup size or two. Some of my friends who are on the pill have had to go bra shopping afterwards.