Paris Hilton’s breast: What’s happening here?

July 16th, 2008 // 69 Comments

Let me a take a stab at what’s going on here: Paris Hilton’s magical bra, which in defiance of God’s Will makes her appear to have cleavage, is running low on unicorn tears. That, or her breasts are made of slowly melting ice cream. The flavor? Ben & Jerry’s New “V.D. Cone Home.” Look for it in your grocer’s freezer.

EDIT: Apparently, with the boob droopage in full effect, Paris tried to hook up with recently single soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo only to be shot down, according to the Daily Mail. Benji Madden would be pissed except he realizes he’s Benji Madden and is just happy to touch a vagina.

Thanks to Tom for the tip on Paris’ crash and burn. I love a good heartwarming tale.

superficial

  1. doug

    first

  2. ah ha!

    definitely a push up bra!! FRIST!

  3. ah ha!

    doug, you suck.

  4. AllieCat

    as much as i hate her, she loos pretty good here. look, not even any panty flashin gcoming out of the car, a step up for her

  5. AllieCat

    as much as i hate her, she loos pretty good here. look, not even any panty flashin coming out of the car, a step up for her

  6. Alice

    Benji touches a vagina whenever he masturbates.

  7. Lamby

    As long as she’s not flashin cooter, I’m a-ok with a little wonkie-boob. (p.s. – shitty push up bra.)

  8. Trixie

    I think it’s kind of obvious that she’s wearing a push-up bra that is too small for her.

  9. dr nick rivera

    that is what we in the doctoring business call wrongly sized bra syndrome.

  10. Randal

    Must … not … be … mean.

    Randal

  11. rough daddy

    hook up? what happen to bengi? cristiano probably saw dude plam imprints on those newly pushup bra

  12. Paris is looking pretty good, if you can forget all the STD’s and the fact she’s had a lesbian affair with Benji Madden.

    Oh, #1 & 2 – you both really need a life.

  13. Jalone

    Big time push ups there. Anyone else notice that she has stopped smiling since she started dating Benny? I guess it’s all part of that dark Goth couture.

  14. memyselfandI

    No wonder Paris looks so sad. Her right boob clearly has Conjoined Twin Myslexia.

  15. kenny

    oh god Paris is so fine. would bang her even wihout a rubber. would eat her muffin for hours.

  16. nipolian

    The stench coming from that Petri Dish between her legs has gotten so foul that even Paris can’t stand it…………so she had someone train her how to step out of a car without spreading her legs wide open.

  17. jon

    pic # 5, what no pussy shot getting out of the car? come on spread those legs for us. show us your shaved poon. stick a finger in and moan like the skank that you are Paris.

  18. jake

    I know what it is. She is over-medicated, took an extra dose of anti-depressant/anti-psychotics.

  19. hi

    her lips… the color and the way she holds them… makes them look like a booty hole.

  20. Paris looks gorgeous! Love the hair and dress.

  21. Caitlin

    I dunno. This is probably the best Paris has ever looked and will ever look in her life.

  22. babyface

    Oh, so hot lady! It was said she just enjoyed hot dating with a black guy on **mixedloving . c o m** so many fans show interesting to her hot photos and videos there. Nice to enjoy more details about it…

  23. babyface

    Oh, so hot lady! It was said she just enjoyed hot dating with a black guy on **mixedloving . c o m** so many fans show interesting to her hot photos and videos there. Nice to enjoy more details about it…

  24. babyface

    Oh, so hot lady! It was said she just enjoyed hot dating with a black guy on **mixedloving . c o m** so many fans show interesting to her hot photos and videos there. Nice to enjoy more details about it…

  25. wanks

    these pics totally just blew my penis’s mind (yes, my brain is located in my penis)…..this is definitely the best that i have ever seen her look.

  26. babynuggaface

    Oh, so hot, the semen in my mouth that is! It was said I just enjoyed swallowing all of the back street boys and getting ass fucked for plugging a faggot shit web site on **felchingfaggots . c o m** so many fans show interest in fellatio on my face bukake style. Nice to enjoy more details about it…

    EAT A DICK SPAMMER!

    P.S. I’d bang Paris, and I don’t care what you all say.

  27. britney's weave

    collagen, anyone?

  28. Drew

    She’s starting to look old and like a tranny with that angled square jaw and long nose. She should get a penis implant. It would be more appropriate for this man woman

  29. Princess

    it is obvious that she is wearing an insert. those gel packs that look like chicken cutlets a woman puts in her bra to push up what she has while filling in the displacement this causes to effectively make it look as though she is a full cup-size larger. she went from an A yesterday to a B today. the odd shape is the insert being poorly placed, or the top being too tight, or the bra having too much of its own padding. Whatever, we all know she has no titties, this is just a sad attempt on her part, like we cant remember what she looks like any other time she goes out

  30. momi amtesh

    the lady she has the beautiful breast

    i am love the lady with the she has the beautiful breast,

    my hope that she am marry me one day

  31. Richard McBeef

    finallly a new fish writer. the old one sucked.

  32. pukinginmyskinthesewoundswillneverheallol

    looks like she drooled all over herself…eeeezzzy on the lipgloss ladies, it ain’t sexi

  33. HankTheDwarf

    Nice try trying to hide the lazy eye behind her bangs.

    LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
    LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
    LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
    LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
    LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
    LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
    LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.

  34. kay

    Well duh, Paris has small boobs and the only reason why they look big is because she wears a push up bra and probably VS water bra

  35. Lindalou

    The only fat on her body is being pushed up and padded with that wonky bra. Other pictures taken at the same time show how anorexic she looks. Love the dress and the color, hair and make up looks good, she looks like flesh and bones.

  36. kr00pa

    Say what you will…she looks fuckin incredible!

  37. Ted from LA

    #10…
    Classic.

  38. the devil

    6. Alice – July 16, 2008 5:09 PM:

    that was fucking BRILLIANT !!!!

    i almost fell off my chair !

  39. rae.

    i know what this is. she has one of those chicken cutlet thingies in there, and its crooked.

  40. Samma

    wtf is with the fucking dinosaur pose in the 1st picture? is it just me or does her arm look like its twisted all the way around?

  41. kenny

    # 40,Samma. no it’s just you chuckle-nuts.

  42. Kim Lardassian

    You can actually see very sizeable chicken fillets which are pushing up her real breasts in to the cleavage. I hate her but good on her for not getting implants I say.

  43. Sendy

    Paris is a cute babe…She was said to have a personal account with her hot pictures and blogs on the wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M for hot guys and girls to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating. Quite a few fans and hot guys are found in her circle there.

  44. fkitty

    so sexy

  45. Hm, they seem bigger now. No doubt, she is looking great!

  46. YEP folks, the ANUS-look is back on her face!!

  47. Flo-Max

    It’s a real shame when good boobs go bad…..

  48. CRUZATES

    CRISTIANO RONALDO REJECTED PARIS HILTON!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHHA SERVES HER JUST RIGHT!

  49. While I do definitely think that Cristiano Ronaldo is the hottest futbol player out there (David Beckham looks like my cat’s shaved ass compared to him). I remember seeing an episode of some rich celebrity homes special with him on MTV or VH1 of E… one of those trashy celebrity networks… Anyways, after seeing him in his own element, I came away from that TV program deeply disappointed. Why? Because I am convinced that he is gay. Maybe that is why it was so easy for him to ignore the advances of trashy barbie and her new set of tatas.

  50. Ana Rita Frazão de Sousa

    I LOVE HER OUTFIT!
    it’s not the first time that Paris appears with bigger boobs, and next they turn smaller. A push up bra it’s like a miracle-maker!

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