Paris Hilton’s boyfriend, a moment of your time?

Dear Doug Reinhardt,

There’s no easy way to put this, so I’m going to just come right out and say it:
Not every kiss requires a crotch grab.
I know that’s basically anathema to your entire worldview, but no one wants to see a severed wrist spraying blood at the club. Kind of a downer.

Politely refusing all future handshakes (No, really, don’t.),

The Superficial Writer

Photos: Pacific Coast News, WENN