Paris Hilton’s big night

March 12th, 2008 // 68 Comments

Paris Hilton came out last night to support her sister’s high-end line Nicholai at the Mercedes-Benz LA Fashion Week. Let me be your guide through these pics of an evening in the life of America’s sweetheart/biohazard:

1 – 4. Paris poses in an outfit designed by her sister Nicky Hilton. Who? Exactly.

5 – 10. Paris and boyfriend Benji Madden show off their dumb-as-shit initial rings which potentially provide free advertisement for Ashton Kutcher’s new show. Ha ha ha has anyone seen my chainsaw and/or butter knife?

11 – 14. Paris and Benji play the part of the cute couple. Or as I affectionately call them: C-3PeeBurns and R2-Dickwad.

15 – 16. Paris almost flashes her crotch but then miraculously doesn’t. Our eyes continue to remain unburned and capable of sight. (Not counting blind people.) Huzzah!

Based on a true story. The End.

Photos: Getty Images, Splash News

  1. Antonio


  2. Igottabemeeee

    I think Paris has moved up into my “I hate you more than anyone on the planet!” spot. Maaaybe second to my ex, but a close second.

  3. susan


  4. She would have looked a hell of alot better if she wouldnt have wore such ugly stockings… better yet…. none would have been best. I know off subject, whatever.

  5. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong

    Whaaat? She’s dating Benji? Damn, I loved those dog movies when I was a kid. How could that cute little mutt do that? I mean, licking your own balls and eating other dogs poop is one thing, but going doggie-style on Paris? That’s just nasty.

  6. If she’s not going to flash her vag – why is she on here?

    Oh, #3 – big loser.

  7. geese

    c-3peeburns and r2-dickwad are classics.

  8. will

    I’m pretty sure this was an itty bitty titty committee convention.

  9. whatev

    jeez, nicky looks so much better than paris now. al grow’d up!

  10. me

    god he’s ugly!

  11. Captain-Insano

    I hate this fukcing bitch with the heat of a thousand suns! It was once said that “anyone can commit murder under the right circumstances”. For me, the right circumstances are 1) being within reaching distance of Paris Hilton 2) thats it.

  12. Summer Kat

    Another person now has herpes. Way to spread that love Paris. You dirty whore!

  13. Veroonica

    That fugly red colored dress makes me dry heave. It’ looks like she shoved the material up her vag to soak up the period juices before drapping it on that little boy with banana feet and hands body of hers.

    I wish that bitch would shove her head up her own ass and die of shock from the foul stench from all the penises rotting up there after she broke them off in the heat of passion, and was too lazy to dig the fuckers out with her skeletor fingers. I am so fucking sick of seeing that skank. Thank god Benji’s days are numbered. She’s just biding her time ’til she swallows him whole with that cavernous cunt of hers. You notice we never see any of her “exes” anymore.

  14. Igottabemeeee

    I see your bid of “A thousand suns” and raise you a pack of ravenous rabid badgers and a red-hot branding iron with “SLUT” written on it. I know I hate her more than you. My hate is pure and holy, and is blessed by God and the Pope.

  15. Captain-Insano

    14) Okay then….I’ll hold her, and you do the murdering.

  16. sweet mama

    she looks bored its a matter of time
    lets place some bets ……… 6 weeks

  17. Randal


    It’s great to see Paris smiling and having fun again after all of the ups and downs she’s gone through. That red dress sings Lady in Red by Chris DeBurg and hangs nicely off of her shoulders.

    Kudos to Paris for bring it to the front line!

  18. You could sell tickets to that…VIPs get a bitchsmack in.

  19. RENEE

    I wonder how much Ashton is paying them to do his first “punk” on the media and the public. How lame. I call a public & media backlash. See how much $ you rake in then, Asston; you pussy whipped cocktail weenie.

  20. whatever

    @17 – STFU. That nasty whore needs to do humanity a favor and drop dead. Unless your comment is the product of a tasty sense of irony, you should do the same.

  21. Yawning

    Nicky has a hideous nose.

    Did Paris once have the same nose?

  22. CunningLinguist

    BM… Exactly.

  23. al

    Paris Hilton is so damn ugly.

  24. Veroonica

    Randl, if you took a little break from shaving your pube hair, punching yourself in the tits to try and make them grow, and shoving your penis as far up your own ass until you look “just girly enough”, you might realize Paris is a rotten human being.

    Now get yourself down to happy hour before the anal leakage kicks in again. The boys don’t want too much chocolate on the mini donut.

  25. She reminds me so much of Frist!

  26. jesus yikes. They both look like fembots!

  27. bill

    Sheesh – her CD sales were pretty lackluster, her movies bomb, her “product lines” are designed and manufactured by other people – she just leases her name to them. Other than get paid to make a fool out herself at casinos and clubs, what does this media hound actually DO?

    She tries so hard to get the American public to accept and respect her as a serious and genuine person. But she has so little talent and integrity, and leads such an invasive and meaningless existence in our pop culture, she always fails.

  28. Jaye

    I no like her. I like Kim’s poopy.

  29. Captain-Insano

    24: Does punching them make them grow? ‘Cause I’ve been smacking my willy silly and all thats happened so far is that I’ve bagged myself a few times.


    One does not enter lightly into Paris.

    It’s meaty gates are guarded by more than mere Herpes. There is an evil there that does not sleep, and the Wonky Eye is forever watchful.

    It is a barren and cursed place where the very air you breathe is choked with sulphurous plumes exploding forth from genital warts and smoking, half burnt crabs. Not with a hundred men could you part these beef curtains and survive. It is folly.

  31. deadbitch

    Surely her sister wants to promote her fashion range not having everyone hating it? way to not achieve your goal Nicky!

  32. Igottabemeeee

    Ok #30 – The Wonky Eye is forever watchful – just about made me pee myself.

  33. Does anyone else think that Nicky looks like a young Agatha from Magnum PI? Maybe a movie opportunity here…

  34. Tapeworm

    Holy fuck. As ugly as Hilton is, this fat white whale of a boyfriend is worse. Looks like John Goodman after a fucking eating spree at the Hershey’s factory.

    Must be the whole “surround yourself with people uglier than yourself to make yourself look better” strategy.

    Way to go, Hilton. Didn’t know that brain cell could work so hard.

  35. isitin

    I totally agree, these Madden brothers are very ugly people. Also Crap Charlotte is one horrible band. This Emo crap music has gotta stop before we all have bleeding ears.

  36. Igottabemeeee

    Awesome. “Revenge is mine, thus saith the Lord,” but he delegates to me on occassion. Kind of like a karma temp service.

  37. alex oz

    paris sis looks like tranny 0o grosssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

  38. Gator

    That Benji Madden needs a bullet in the dome, along with his faggot-ass brother Joel.

  39. My Penis

    IIIIIiiii, Feeeeeeeeal, As If This is the worst Shit EVER…and….no, I never thought I’d…get to tell you, soooooooo, here IIIIIIIIiiiiii Goooooooooooaahh IIIIII,. neeeed a a a a IIIiiiiiiiiiii, Neeeeeeed A..A …..A…..aaaaaaaaaaaaH……..Whole lot of rock and roll,, cause, clearly, I didnt learn shit. Even though it was freestlyle, Didnt learn shit, Didn’t learn shit…..OOOaaaaaahhhh! ……..Daddy…..Daddy?…DAD?..Dadaaaah?

    Hey…Mom, where the Fuck is Dad?

    (The Poetry Reading performs a standing Ovation)

  40. That’s hot!

  41. weRd

    lol. what an ugly creature(s) (all 3 of them) PH should at least groom her nose hairs.
    too…… much ….. uglyness….alltogether!!!

  42. signature

    Paris looks fabulous and you are all F****** jealous


    I saw this hot bitch’s profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m” last week. It seems she is seeking true love online now.

  44. IWONKY

    Yep, that eye is still wonky.

  45. Are those real people or wax statues?

  46. paris hilton is getting hotter and hotter!!

  47. OMG! They are so beautiful.Really cool and she is so sexy ..I just found her new video and album on the site ” W e a l t h y L o v i n g .c o m”.Just cyrious.Is she really has a baby with a little sexy boy?

  48. Alex

    It’s appropriate that Paris is now dating the biggest douche bag on the planet.

  49. jeff

    is it just me, or does benji remind anyone else of boy george. he needs a little less sun, a little more blow and a few more escorts chained up in his bedroom and he’s in!

  50. bludgeonedtodeath

    Has anyone noticed what a swayback this b*tch is? If she were a real horse, instead of just a whorse-face, she’d have been shot long ago. Brokeback poontang, at it’s worst.

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