Paris Hilton’s big night

Paris Hilton came out last night to support her sister’s high-end line Nicholai at the Mercedes-Benz LA Fashion Week. Let me be your guide through these pics of an evening in the life of America’s sweetheart/biohazard:

1 – 4. Paris poses in an outfit designed by her sister Nicky Hilton. Who? Exactly.

5 – 10. Paris and boyfriend Benji Madden show off their dumb-as-shit initial rings which potentially provide free advertisement for Ashton Kutcher’s new show. Ha ha ha has anyone seen my chainsaw and/or butter knife?

11 – 14. Paris and Benji play the part of the cute couple. Or as I affectionately call them: C-3PeeBurns and R2-Dickwad.

15 – 16. Paris almost flashes her crotch but then miraculously doesn’t. Our eyes continue to remain unburned and capable of sight. (Not counting blind people.) Huzzah!

Based on a true story. The End.

Photos: Getty Images, Splash News