Paris Hilton has been responding to fan mail to keep busy in prison and E! obtained a copy of one of her letters. Paris writes:
“I read your letter and just wanted to thank you for your kind words of love and support. The fact that you took time out of your day to write me truly means the world. Especially at such a difficult and scary time in my life. But I am being strong and trying to make the best out of the situation. And the letters I’m receiving really do put a smile on my face as I sit here in my cell, sad and alone. Again, thank you so much and may God bless you and your family.
Love always, Paris Hilton.”
It’s nice that she’s responding to all her “fan” mail, but is that seriously how she signs her name? She’s like five years old. I keep expecting to see a drawing of a unicorn in the margin. If you asked a bunch of third graders to write the exact same message, Paris’ version would be the second worst. And only because one of the kids took a dump on his paper instead of using a pencil. And even then it was a tough call.
NOTE: You know she concentrated so hard on this letter, brow furrowed, tongue hanging out the side of her mouth, trying so hard to make each line neat and straight, and yet she still somehow managed to misspell ‘receiving.’
asd | June 20, 2007 at 4:19 pm
LMAO
JC | June 20, 2007 at 4:20 pm
rofl i wonder what that ratio is for fan mail to hate mail
i bet its like 1:5 hahaha hope the bitch suffers in prison and gets finger fucked by dykes
Derek Hail | June 20, 2007 at 4:20 pm
That is absolutely ridiculous
Julie | June 20, 2007 at 4:21 pm
she spelled receiving wrong.
i’m just saying.
Cat | June 20, 2007 at 4:21 pm
“I” before “E,” EXCEPT AFTER “C,” Paris.
Jesus-The-Ever-Loving-Christ | June 20, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Block letters… The Billionairess can only manage block letters…
OK. I’ve offered trips around the galaxy, trips back in time, and a number of perks that quite frankly would have had even the most non-zealous Christian in 200 AD hacking away at Paris like a… Well, like a 200 AD primitive with a sicle. Get with it people… Off Paris or know my wrath…
The Big JC…
leelee | June 20, 2007 at 4:22 pm
that’s so cute– it looks like she used the paper you get in kindergarten with the BIG lines and the dotted line in the middle!
Paris' cellroom toilet | June 20, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Help me
smoothvelvet2003 | June 20, 2007 at 4:24 pm
This is exactly what I expected. She can’t spell. She can’t use correct punctuation. It’s like reading something that a fifth grader would write.
RUSerious?!?!?! | June 20, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Give her a break.. I would love to see some of the people who post comments on here do a better job with spelling and punctuation.. “A Lot” is two words people… (Shaking my head and rolling my eyes at all of you jealous haters…)
HoboChic | June 20, 2007 at 4:31 pm
I can just see Paris holding her big fat kindergarten pencil fist style.
Fishstick | June 20, 2007 at 4:31 pm
she writes the way my sister did in the 6th grade.
notsosimplelife.tv | June 20, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Check out http://www.notsosimplelife.tv for news, videos and photos on Paris!
ButtScratcher | June 20, 2007 at 4:31 pm
hmmmmm def. got an autograph from the ever-talented Ms. Hilton…that’s not her signature…
interesting superfish interesting
Blee | June 20, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Hilarious take on her writing that silly letter. I can truly see her with her tongue hanging out, furrowed brow and trying to write it when someone is trying sooooooo hard. Brilliant view of this letter…
I love the God Bless you and your family as if she sincerely cares. Oh and the third grade hearts over the i’s.
Joslin | June 20, 2007 at 4:32 pm
hahaha i before e except after c. She writes like a kid, but then again, she probably has not spent much time writing.
a | June 20, 2007 at 4:38 pm
i love how all of you are hating and saying shit when shes being nice enough to reply to people. so much for her thinking shes better than anyone. you people really have no lives making fun of this. really sick
bungoone | June 20, 2007 at 4:41 pm
I would like to see her GED certificate because I question the autheticity of it. She probably cheated.
This is almost as entertaining as her love letters to Nick Carter.
morosetoast | June 20, 2007 at 4:44 pm
I before E except after C is not always right. But anyway her handwriting does look like a little kids but at least its better then most people’s chicken scratch.
bungoone | June 20, 2007 at 4:44 pm
17, she probably never actually mailed this to her fan. it went directly to E! & that’s how they obtained a copy of it. she will do anything for publicity.
i’m pretty sure people making fun of her doesn’t come under the category of “really sick.” That’s reserved for her sex tape & other pictues and videos of her doing stuff.
p0nk | June 20, 2007 at 4:45 pm
not once did she use the word “hot”. obviously a forgery.
Bern | June 20, 2007 at 4:45 pm
It looks like she pout the white piece of paper over one of those brown pieces, with the wide lines, that they use to help kids write straight in like first grade.
Who would take time out of their day to write this girl? Whoever did is more of a waste than even she.
Penis Mightier | June 20, 2007 at 4:45 pm
17, you have to realize she is only doing it to pass the time because she is in jail…kind of like I’d pass the time jerking off because there is simply nothing else to do.
WallyBungHoLE | June 20, 2007 at 4:47 pm
#17 June Cleaver, you can’t be fucking serious.
p0nk | June 20, 2007 at 4:48 pm
penis mightier… xrist those SNL skits were da bomb.
GOD | June 20, 2007 at 4:48 pm
This letter was edited and re-written by one of her reps. Here is her original letter.
Daer fan,
i lik your letter cuz you sed I is purty. My vajina is itchi cuz thy won’t let mee hav mi creem. i so bored. i miss beating up my wittle dogs. This place smellz… oh wait that my butwhole. from now on i gonna be sooper smrter, youll sea. i definitaly hotest bitsh in dis plase.
ok bi luv you
i the best perfact
xuxuxuxu
Periz heltum
pocthis | June 20, 2007 at 4:48 pm
i love that its on unlined paper. i’m going to take this to a handwriting analyzer right now!
bungoone | June 20, 2007 at 4:50 pm
26, that looks more like it was written by krazyhotkelli than paris hilton.
Doomhammer | June 20, 2007 at 4:52 pm
The saddest part is that the letter is probably some computer generated marketing scheme perpatrated by her new publicist and image consultants. I dont believe for one second she can write even on that level. The misspelling of “receiving” was to make the letter seem authentic without making her look completely ignorant.
It takes millions of dollars and lots of people to keep Paris’ star shining.
GOD | June 20, 2007 at 4:53 pm
28. Actually they are the same person.
Which explains a lot.
SmartyBritches | June 20, 2007 at 4:55 pm
I can see her now, big fat pencil in hand….
Boba Fett | June 20, 2007 at 4:59 pm
I’m going to send her a picture of my cock.
kitty_kat | June 20, 2007 at 5:04 pm
I don’t see anything wrong with the signature. I sign my name with a heart (I don’t dot my i’s with them, but still). I actually think its kinda cute.
woodhorse | June 20, 2007 at 5:05 pm
Hearts instead of dots over the “i”s in her name? Printing? Say what you will about Angelina being ‘too wealthy’, at least she sends Maddox to school – unlike Kathy who sent her children to WhoreCare instead.
Foog | June 20, 2007 at 5:08 pm
No. 17. How could we have been so wrong? I mean, wow! She has released a response to a fan letter to a media outlet. She really does care. Mother Fucking Teresa ain’t got nothing on her.
… Oh. Wait a minute. She also forgot the apostrophe in the “I’m” just before “recieved (sic)”. Bitch.
ganzagwenie | June 20, 2007 at 5:08 pm
I think the fact that she misspelled receiving is the least of her problems.
Rachael | June 20, 2007 at 5:11 pm
Bullshit – this has definately not been written by Paris. First of all there are not enough mistakes and the handwriting is a little too neat for Paris.
rosie's mustach | June 20, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Actually all her “fan” mail was really hate mail and she wrote back some angry stuff. Her reps just tried to spin the story.
Here is an angry letter she wrote back. I know because she wrote it to me after I sent her some herpes cream and the book “Life for Dummies”. Bitch. I was just trying to be nice.
deer dtoopid persun
lik i am way to perfekt for jale. lik i am two spaciale an lik peapel are obsesed wit mi. lik this is lik so lik unfare. im lik so much hotar than my sistar. lik al u meen peapel r lik just lik souper jalus of mi.lik im lik the bestast singar in the wurld and lik the most gorjus gurl evar. lik im lik biggar the marilin munro. dis is lik a lik conspiration agianst mi. lik my daddy is lik gona hyre the FIB to lik invest in this. becus tis is lik rasizm aganst mi 4 beeng so hot.
so lik middle finger u.
lik bi.
oh go bi mi cd k.
luv yu
now sign yur name parice
x_rizzo | June 20, 2007 at 5:13 pm
this can’t be legit. “…as i sit here in my cell, sad and alone.” ??? some random person wrote this and now they’re gonna try to sell it on eBay.
cl | June 20, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Just read this today about one of Paris’ (ahem) “friends”, today. She sure must be lonely not getting any in the slammer, lol.
http://socialitelife.com/2007/06/20/jack_osbourne_and_paris_hilton.php
Kamiki | June 20, 2007 at 5:18 pm
I thought she said she was gonna stop pretending to be dumb and that it was no longer cute? Well nEWSFLASH this isn’t cute either Parisite.
Paris'NumberOneFan | June 20, 2007 at 5:26 pm
OH MY GOD! I can’t believe she has replied! I have sent her so many letters. I love you Paris :)
FatDrunkAndStupid | June 20, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Woodhorse,
Printing is actually the way most Americans under the age of 35 write. Cursive went out of style in the 1970′s. As for spelling “receiving” wrong, give me a break. Like everybody else her age, Paris grew up in the age of spell check.
i'ts dummaaass | June 20, 2007 at 5:33 pm
it is hard to stop acting dumb when you really are dumb
m.christopher | June 20, 2007 at 5:35 pm
lol, that reminds me of a thing I saw on Celebrity Eye Candy where a girl was outside Paris’s house on her birthday and Kathy Hilton was outside as well, and the girl asked her one friend “take a picture of me and her” and Kathy Hilton wrongly corrected her saying “she and I.” haha dumbasses…
Felix | June 20, 2007 at 5:38 pm
I wouldn’t mind getting a letter from her :) :P
theredsnapper | June 20, 2007 at 5:44 pm
this bitch is braindead..
ParisIsDumberThanDirt | June 20, 2007 at 5:46 pm
Look, at least she spelled her name right. That will get her 200 points on the SAT’s.
yolatengo | June 20, 2007 at 5:49 pm
I wish this bitch would just pull a Jeffrey Dahmer already
fatty | June 20, 2007 at 5:53 pm
lol@’stache.
that’s even better than the actual letter.