Like Pearl Harbor with herpes…

May 27th, 2010 // 63 Comments

Someone thought it’d be a great idea to invite Paris Hilton to the USO’s Swinging Salute to the Troops last night because that’s exactly what our brave men and women want to see they’re laying their lives down for. Couldn’t they have just shown the BP oil spill or millions of people unemployed so giant financial corporations can pay out bonuses with taxpayer money? You know, something that doesn’t immediately make them want to join Al Qaeda like I just did. (Carpool, anyone?)

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. first fail!

    ~420~

  2. havoc

    Let’s see….same old pose, same old wonk eye.

    Nothing new here……

    .

  3. .

    I’d like to watch her strain on the pooper until the puss explodes from her herpes and hangs from her yeasty bush like a puss-filled dingleberry.

  4. FrankNfrtr

    She loves herself & that weird wonk-eyed face so very, very much.
    Can’t wait until she gets old & gnarly…..& no one takes her picture anymore.
    The clock is ticking…..

  5. RonMexico

    Uhh.. wtf happened to her arm? Looks like they attached Betty White’s arms on her!

  6. direchef

    Spoonful of Valtrex anyone? What a proud legacy for hospital where by sister was born.

  7. Anonymous

    Such trash.

  8. Sienfeld

    Are those man-hands?

  9. flooddirt

    WTF is wrong with her arm?

  10. l

    Does anyone know what’s wrong with her eye? Is she always like that?

  11. Still waiting for Paris Hiltons follow up to her very thought provoking, intellectual, concept first album. Paris Hilton’s next tour is gonna be huge. Shes gonna do 6 nights at MSG easy. Sarcasm mode turned off.

  12. man with no name

    I would fuck her if it would stop the BP spill provided I wear 2 condoms,up the arse which would be more hygienic than her cunt, and she would allow a creampie…….More importantly I would overlook her Marty Feldman type eyes and 80+ grandma like arms while doing this deed for the Country….plus a small % of that Humongous Hilton Fortune.
    Cheers

  13. farles chew

    Who knew she had man hands?

  14. Wonky McValtrex

    Who’s idea was it to invite Wonky McValtrex to a USO event? She contributes absolutely nothing to anything she’s associated with; all she does is stand on the red carpet & pose like a self important idiot. I suspect re-enlistment rates are going to PLUMMET…

  15. Lisa

    Look at the size of those fucking hands!

  16. reggaemylitis

    Ewwwww, Skeletor arms! So fucking gross. Girls, do NOT be like Angelina and Paris. There is nothing worse than sickly armed chicks. Hoarf!

  17. Jen

    i hope she blew some our service men. god bless em

  18. Sores and Stripes Forever.

  19. discobob

    Jeebus! That eye get’s wonkier every passing day!

  20. jewishustla

    lol look at her hand its massive

  21. Tek

    She’s irrelevant, so why bother posting about her? Man face, man hands, man feet. Yeah, a racist lazy-eyed tranny. We’re back on the tranny trend indeed.

  22. Chupacabra

    holy crap she’s skinny.
    you can never be too rich, too thin, or too herpetic.

  23. Do_Freebird

    Who Photoshopped Amonhotep III’s hands onto her arms?

  24. Forgot about Paris. Check out the gay soldier standing behind her. That is far more interesting than “Man-Hands Hilton”

    Whatever happened to that “Don’t ask,don’t tell, don’t be caught looking gay in Paris Hilton photo ops” policy?

  25. Tek

    LMFAO @ 24

  26. lola

    Best commentary ever on a site that cracks me up every day. Jihad!

  27. She’s starting to get Madonna’s hands.

  28. Enna

    And let me add to the hands and arms comments.

    Frightening. So very frightening.

    That is all.

  29. hateyoufornoreason

    UGH. Madonna arms.
    Nobody even bothers to comment on her anymore. Except me and 17 other basement dwellers.

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  33. HerpesHilton

    This site continues to make me lol…….

    ….. and @31 newgoing – FUCK OFF CUNT TROLL

  34. Somebody thought it would be a good idea to invite Paris Hilton to balance USO salute the troops last night, because that is exactly what our brave men and women want to see that they are about their lives

  35. All the poses of are amazing and her dress dress which she wear in this photos suits her very much. She is looking gorgeous in these photos.

  36. her cloth is herve leger dress ! She looks so beautiful, so click my name now !

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  38. you will be more beautiful once you slip on the christian Louboutin shoes!

  39. If Paris was known for charity work ans such instead of being useless trash, I’d probably like her.

  40. captain america

    she must kill somebody first or start a war before people reckognise the devil in this professional LIAR?

  41. Michael

    Two things full of semen/sea men that night !
    Paris and the Intrepid……..

  42. Her dressings is nice.

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  44. Burt

    “USO’s Swinging Salute to the Troops”

    …and they got Paris Hilton? Now, that’s funny.

  45. What happened to her hands?

  46. Walter Roberts

    I love Paris: she’s definitely very beautiful and she has a sense of humor and does not take herself all that seriously. She needs however to put on just a few pounds so her arms don’t look like the GIs just rescued her from Auschwitz. I’m glad she’s going to support the troops. I’m sure they enjoy her spunk and smiles. I myself would sooner go off to some foreign land to fight for her than (as usual) for some corporation’s interest. Rock on, Paris.

  47. JD

    Hope the troops stayed away from this STD disaster. She could take down more men than any enemy.

  48. Darth

    Holy crap! Who’s this skin-covered grim reaper?!

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