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cate | September 5, 2007 at 11:07 am
god no.
yuri | September 5, 2007 at 11:08 am
first!
yuri | September 5, 2007 at 11:09 am
…second ;(…
CTN | September 5, 2007 at 11:09 am
FIRST
jrzmommy | September 5, 2007 at 11:11 am
“this cartoon character that they’ve made of me ”
They? THEY? No…..YOU, Paris, YOU have made a cartoon character out of yourself. You mindless bitch.
Dear God I hope she’s infertile.
Eeva | September 5, 2007 at 11:11 am
shit.she is a kid.how can kids have kids?
grow up dumb ass no talent hoe.
b.echols | September 5, 2007 at 11:12 am
Alright. I have to have sex with her.
It’s the only way to start my army of filthy, disease-ridden, alcoholic, whores.
Lovely | September 5, 2007 at 11:13 am
2nd 3rd and 4th commentors are examples of what Paris’s kids would be like… retarded
monster | September 5, 2007 at 11:13 am
No. Just no. Isn’t there something we can do about this? Some obscure law? We need a lawyer here.
bottlesandcansjustclapyourhands | September 5, 2007 at 11:13 am
She’ll be pregnant for like, 10 months…..or is that 42 months?
Eeva | September 5, 2007 at 11:13 am
‘ I wanna have like a family and a guy’ – yes,this is what people who are mature usually say about taking their life on a different level.
jrzmommy | September 5, 2007 at 11:13 am
HAHAHAHAHA #8!!
Jack Moonshine | September 5, 2007 at 11:17 am
She probably puts more thought into choosing lip gloss than she would in choosing a “father”… hell, she’ll probably try to use the lip gloss tube as a surrogate father.
Oooohhh baby, that’s sexy!!
Hemlock Queen | September 5, 2007 at 11:18 am
Oh you know, she could teach that kid her astounding vocabulary of catch phrases. Like, “that’s hot!” and “yucky!” oh wait, “charge it.”
LouLou | September 5, 2007 at 11:18 am
This is so high school. Is she writing her crush’s name on her notebook, too? Oh, wait, she doesn’t have a crush, she just wants to be a mommy someday. God help her if Nicole upstages her with a baby!
PrettyBaby | September 5, 2007 at 11:22 am
I know someone that would be perfect for her. Some hints…
1. He is very, very, VERY fertile possibly due to overly baggy, sagging pants.
2. He uses fun cute phrases like “wiggity wack” and “word, yo”
3. Boinking him means a built-in family of no fewer than 4 kids, with more surely to come.
I’ll hook you up Paris…… Hook you up real nice like.
jrzmommy | September 5, 2007 at 11:23 am
Not to freak you all out–especially you Superfish guy– and cause widespread panic……but let’s just say that Nicole has a boy and Paris has a girl and those two kids hook up and………….*faints*
AtriumXP | September 5, 2007 at 11:23 am
I think she meant to say she wants a Family Guy. You know, she probably just watched an episode and thought Stewie was cute. She just baffled herself when something shiny caught her eye and said it wrong. Mystery solved.
YouRang | September 5, 2007 at 11:24 am
A guy who’s “loyal and funny and smart.” How would she even know?
Emily | September 5, 2007 at 11:24 am
well in five years when her and nicoles baby start preschool, paris and her will be sittng on the front steps of their trailer thinking about how they used to be party BFF’s and they’ll let out a simultaneous “that’s hot!”
Texas Tranny | September 5, 2007 at 11:25 am
ROFLMAOPIP
Annie Rexia | September 5, 2007 at 11:27 am
It only makes sense that Paris would give birth to the anti-Christ. Just think of all the dead jackals and petrifying fetuses she has stuck up in her cooter already. Hopefully lil’ Lucifer will choke on the rotting menses that filthy whore never scrapes out, therefore saving the world. Hail Paris! Savior of the Universe!
PrettyBaby | September 5, 2007 at 11:27 am
Hey Texas Tranny, what is the extra PIP added there??? Just wondering.
jrzmommy | September 5, 2007 at 11:28 am
Baby–knowing TT I think it’s Peeing in Panties.
Chauncey Gardner | September 5, 2007 at 11:28 am
Wow, another sparkling argument for human reproduction.
But seriously, shame on me for judging Paris based on her ridiculous lifestyle and behavior. I am sure she will be a fine mother. I mean, compared to Britney, Joan Crawford’s rotted corpse is a great mother.
Texas Tranny | September 5, 2007 at 11:29 am
Peeing In Panties.
@22 | September 5, 2007 at 11:29 am
Menses stained with semen from the millions of dicks that have been in her who-ha. You also have to include the stray coke bottles here and there.
Texas Tranny | September 5, 2007 at 11:30 am
Jrzymommy knows me too well.
veggo | September 5, 2007 at 11:31 am
Maybe she’ll adopt a 35 year old vertically challenged person (ooOOOoooo, so PC) and call him her baby.
Frick! | September 5, 2007 at 11:34 am
Yeh, you’re really ready for motherhood, Manly Hands Hilton.
DAMIEN | September 5, 2007 at 11:34 am
WTF DUDE SERIOUSLY????? man paris hilton is fucking annoying, but you know what else is retarded? those little fucking morons who proclaim themselves ‘first!!’ every time a comment section opens… especially when they’re actually not the first. Even the dude in first who says it… Grow the fuck up lol. You may think you’re in first but in reality you’re DEAD LAST. You’re a fucking loser. This is for cutting up celebrities hearts NOT playing these preschool games you bitches.
Wonky | September 5, 2007 at 11:35 am
Paris – let me spatter you with my baby batter. Please let me bust a nut into your wonky eye ONE FREAKING TIME. I’m already happily married, but would give my left nut to have you and your gorgeous little tits for one night of magic.
SpringtimeInParis'Ass | September 5, 2007 at 11:36 am
Wow she really wants it all. Video on the net of her sucking cock, convicted felon, infected with herpes and now an illegitimate child.
I can’t understand why anyone would think she’s not a good person.
LL | September 5, 2007 at 11:38 am
Halle Berry’s kid will save us all.
steve-o | September 5, 2007 at 11:38 am
“And satan will find an earthly vessel for his seed in the whore of babylon with the wonky eye, and her offspring shall be called the beast, the antichrist, the deceiver and enslaver of nations….”
“oh, and he’ll have sasquatch feet, like his hoebag mother”
JUST AS THE PROPEHCIES FORETOLD!!
bottlesandcansjustclapyourhands | September 5, 2007 at 11:39 am
Know what else is really annoying? People who say DUUUUUUUDE, WTF?? Huh? Oh, I said that out loud?
Texas Tranny | September 5, 2007 at 11:40 am
Anybody have a link to that video of her sucking cock?
Just want to compare techniques.
havoc | September 5, 2007 at 11:41 am
Its the end of the world as we know it…..
And I feel fine…..
.
wooohah.com | September 5, 2007 at 11:42 am
The world will come to an end when Paris has a child. Oh well…at least she can teach him/her important things when the kid is older…such as proper angles and lighting to use when making sex tapes.
-Scott
http://www.wooohah.com
Where celebrity goes hip-hop.
katers | September 5, 2007 at 11:42 am
Anything to steal Nicole’s thunder, hey Paris?
Eunice | September 5, 2007 at 11:44 am
Oh, you make me laugh. I laughed so hard at this. I love this site’s wit.
BaldAsBritney | September 5, 2007 at 11:44 am
Do people still die during childbirth? Just wondering….
BlohansProlpase | September 5, 2007 at 11:46 am
I heard the pregnancy will be sponsored by Valtrex
DoParis | September 5, 2007 at 11:46 am
Paris has only 3 requirements for mating: (1) Tell her she is beautiful (2) Be Rich and (3) Be able to maintain an erection while she is in the same room and naked
George Best | September 5, 2007 at 11:50 am
the lead singer of maroon 5 will impregnate her
Jimbo | September 5, 2007 at 11:53 am
Is there a little lesbo action going on with Paris and the chick in the black dress? Thats hot!!!
lambman | September 5, 2007 at 11:54 am
Paris Hilton = so 5 minutes ago
no1justminda | September 5, 2007 at 11:55 am
Not a husband, not a father to her children…A GUY.
Web Cam Perv | September 5, 2007 at 11:55 am
Oh god, stop her before she breeds!
Anon | September 5, 2007 at 11:56 am
This “I want children” fad will last as long as her “I will change the world” fad did when she got out of jail – all of 10 seconds.