Paris Hilton wants to destroy the Kardashians

November 16th, 2009 // 52 Comments

Paris Hilton is pissed that the Kardashians rode her admittedly roomy labia to stardom and now make more money than she does. However, Paris is already planning to destroy them by copying their every move? Okay, sure. Page Six reports:

“She used to command $100,000 for club appearances, but now Kim is the hottest girl — and they aren’t friends anymore. The magazines are bidding around $300,000 for Kourtney’s baby-shower and baby pictures. And Khloe’s wedding brought in record ratings for E!
“Paris has realized that standing for excess in a recession doesn’t appeal,” our insider continued. “The Kardashian girls seem more real, and girls identify with them more. She’s got to ditch the pink Bentley and concentrate on developing herself.”
Sources close to Hilton said she’s carefully working on the launch of her new hair and beauty line, which she’ll unveil in Beverly Hills on Tuesday, taking the lead from the Kardashians by having her family at her side.

Of course, there’s an easier way to settle this: Everyone involved in this story kills themselves and whoever disrupts the most CNN coverage wins. Ready GO!

NOTE: Apologies to Kourtney’s unborn child except not really and you’re welcome.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. hotstuff

    both are dumb and slutty. kim def pays a lot more for her butt injections and plastic surgery. maybe paris should get a completely fake body too so she can make more money.

  2. Shaye

    AH…killl me now.

  3. goober

    Suicide by jumping feet first through a wood chipper would be pretty sweet; maybe they could make that an episode on that Kardashian reality show; or even better, uncensored on pay-per-view.

  4. BFS

    Fake bitches are fake.

  5. Ruby

    Why doesn’t this vapid cunt die already? I’m sure she’s contracted more than enough STDs to kill an entire midsized country.

    The fact that this dumb bitch lives on but Bea Arthur had to die proves there is no god.

    Atheism all the way.

  6. just

    Feet first through the chipper? It would take a nuclear powered wood chipper to deal with those flippers.

    Imagine feeling that you are less “real” than the Kardashians… when you get to that point, you really have to start thinking about where you are going with life. The path she chose to bring her riches might not have been worth it in the long run. I think stay out of the limelight might be her best bet yet.

  7. YYYEEESSSS!!!!!!!

    Screw this whore! NEXT! What about this Carrie Prejeun brawd and her 8 sex tapes. Personally, I don’t think it’s sex if your thinking about Jesus while fingering yourself. Thoughts?

  8. yakazulu

    I hate to say this but.. Kim is the hot one.

  9. Jrz

    Two things that puzzle me: “Concentrate” and “Developing herself” were both used in relation to the Paris Hilton, as if she is capable of doing either…was that intentional?

  10. pimp

    I love eating ass! Having said that, I wouldn’t go near this bitches asshole…I take that back, I’d love to punch my fist up that thing.

  11. Schadenfreudelicious

    Damn, those are seriously ginormous hooves that bitch is sportin’…..

  12. Shannon

    Damn, Paris, can’t you rub some lotion over them ashy kneecaps?!

  13. Hugh Jorgan

    Soooo,,, the key to becoming rich and famous is having a rap star piss on you on a sex tape. I think I’ll stay poor and obscure

  14. PabloHoney

    Are the Kardashians famous for more than having been pissed on by a nobody who claims to be a rapper / being related to someone who was pissed on by a nobody who claims to be a rapper?

    Also, good lord… how does a woman as young as Paris wind up with such completely wrecked legs?

  15. Sasquatch

    If she wants to destroy them, just step on them with those huge feet. Paris has the freakiest hands and feet.

  16. paris is a vapid cunt and kim isn’t much better

  17. Crabby Old Guy

    People actually PAY to have these useless phucks appear at their events? You know, if some idiot wants to blow $100,000 – how about they dole some cash out to regular folks who have lost their jobs? I know it’s not gonna get them on TMZ or People, or whatever – but really, WTF?

    Giving more money to useless celebtards – or helping someone create a job?

    And you could certainly find a better looking and smarter person by just running your finger down a phone book and cutting them a check rather than giving cash to any of these skanks.

  18. Doh!

    Ok, now, tell me Hilton’s legs don’t look like cow legs and her feet like hooves.

  19. It’s over for Paris. You’re too old to be a trend setter. No one really cares anymore. Time to grow up and move on.

  20. #17

    You bet they do. California is a vapid state, Crabby Old Guy. Paying these spitfucks $100k to show up once, brings the vapid, but paying crowd, night after night, in hopes of seeing them, again. The money gets made back ten fold in no time. Douchebags and skanks are annoying, but if they pay just like everyone else, all is good in the world of the owners. The more crowd, the more employees they are going to need.

    So it actually works out, in the long, to the little guy’s advantage. Somebody has to clean up that vapid mess afterward for minimum wage.

    Wait, what? Nevermind.

  21. Sport

    Catfight of the untalented. Love it, much more than the people themselves.

  22. Champ

    Relax there #20 Alex.

    SoCal is vapid I’ll grant you that, but it’s a huge state. It’s not our fault that most midwestern and southerners think Cali is “blonde-haired, blue-eyed, gay, winecooler drinking surfers.’ That is Southern California. It’s a small area of the state.

    Northern Californians laugh at that fake bleach blond LA lifestyle, as well.

  23. M.

    Fact that anyone looks up to either of them is beyond sad.

  24. Touche, Champ. I stand completely corrected.

  25. wosh

    it’s gotta hurt to be less popular than the girl who’s only famous for her enormous ass, and an amature sex tape where she gets pissed on.

  26. Danklin24

    Maybr she can kill Kim Kardashian with one of those bones sticking out of her legs. Paris Hilton seriously has some of the grossest legs on the planet.

  27. Do FreeBird

    which would you rather be exposed to?
    Kims’ grotesquely large ass? Or Paris’ grotesquely large feet?

  28. BennyfromThames

    Well I’ve seen both their sex tapes. Paris sucks more dick, but talks (complains) too fucking much. Kim actually seems to enjoy fucking!

  29. Angela

    This is crazy, but I kinda miss Paris. Since she’s like the unofficial/slightly ugly Barbie doll. I’m sick of seeing those Muslim sisters.

  30. Joyahappy

    My friend recommend me an interesting site __** WealthySocial.com **__ If you have worked hard for your Millionaire status and want to meet people of the same class, if you want to enjoy a millionaire lifestyle, you may join it.

  31. evil cat

    with all her money, you’d think Paris would buy better looking legs

  32. Joyahappy

    My friend recommend me an interesting site __** WealthySocial.com **__ If you have worked hard for your Millionaire status and want to meet people of the same class, if you want to enjoy a millionaire lifestyle, you may join it.

  33. vdcg

    What’s with Paris’ knees? Looks like she just escaped from Auschwits!!!

  34. Rasputins Liver

    *

    WHOA!

    Check them thar clodhoppers she’s sportin’ at the ends of those spindly, ugly toothpicks for legs!

    But she’s as ugly on the inside as she is on the outside.

    Oh well. At least I don’t have to deal with her or wake up next to Her Fugliness.

    As for the Kardashians….why are they “famous”? What have they done, outside of being spoiled bitches?

    *

  35. Rasputins Liver

    *

    WHOA!

    Check them thar clodhoppers she’s sportin’ at the ends of those spindly, ugly toothpicks for legs!

    But she’s as ugly on the inside as she is on the outside.

    Oh well. At least I don’t have to deal with her or wake up next to Her Fugliness.

    As for the Kardashians….why are they “famous”? What have they done, outside of being spoiled bitches?

    *

  36. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    Maybe these diseases will fight to the death and kill each other. They are all such disgusting vile garbage.

    Where is that psycho Ryan guy with his luggage and homicidal tendencies, when you need him?

    Oh yeah, dead as a doornail.

  37. 1moreidiotintheworld

    Put them together for a fight-to-the-death cage match. I’d pay to see that……….

  38. yo

    i actually cringed when i saw that pic of paris. she has the most disproportionate body ive ever seen, really long limps and big hands and feet and bones sticking out everywhere. she looks malnourished. and her face and eyes are lifeless. creepy ass bitch.

  39. Everyone else thought of it already.

    Why doesn’t Paris stomp the Kumdumpster sisters with those giant canoe feet of hers?

  40. GG

    Paris is a racist, herpes havin, fake, baby talkin, coke whore. Nobody cares about what she’s up to. She needs to go back to New York. Her socialite friends can tell her how wonderful she is.

  41. GG

    Paris is a racist, herpes havin, fake, baby talkin, coke whore. Nobody cares about what she’s up to. She needs to go back to New York. Her socialite friends can tell her how wonderful she is.

  42. BRANDON M. WITTE

    PARIS HILTON IS CURRENTLY EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED.

    SINCERELY, BRANDON M. (MATTHEW) WITTE

    ARLINGTON, TEXAS
    AGE: 33

    MY ADDRESS: 3800 CURT DR., ARLINGTON, TEXAS 76016

    I CAN BE FOUN PERFORMING AT JAMAICA GATES ( A JAMAICAN RESTAURANT HERE IN TOWN) EVERY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT.

    AND TO RESPOND TO THE COMMENTS THAT HAVE BEEN MADE IN MY NAME ON VARIOUS WEB SITES REGARDING PARIS HILTON: IF THERE WERE A FAKE BRANDON M. WITTE OUT THERE PRETENDING TO BE ME AND SINGING AT THE SAME RESTAURANT WHERE I AM THE ONLY WHITE SINGER, DONT YOU GUYS THINK THAT I WOULD CONFRONT HIM (THE IMPOSTER.) LOL

  43. Eva

    Her legs, particularly the knees make me think of the Crypt Keeper.

  44. Brooke

    LMAO, the Kardashians seem more real? In what universe exactly? I mean look at Kim, she’s clearly had plastic surgery to enhance A Lot of her assets, her butt for instance and her huge lips and it looks like maybe breast augmentation that’s just the ones I can think of off hand. Then we have Khloe who you can tell has had some plastic surgery of her own. So, real wouldn’t be the word I would use to describe them. I can’t stand either of them (Kardashians or Hiltons), but honestly I can’t stand people who curtail themselves off of someone else’s fame and I feel that Kim did that with Paris. So, on this one I’d have to say I like Paris a bit better than Kim and her family, who annoy me to no end. Actually, it would be nice if they’d all just go away, I’m sick of hearing about these people who are famous for no reason at all. They don’t do anything…..The only good thing about Paris is her colognes which I must say that I sadly have to admit I love. I seriously doubt she created them though, more like someone else did and she stuck her name on them.

  45. It’s hard to go back, but she’s better off waiting for the recession to end, or for everyone to notice the the K girls are actually crazier then Paris is…at least everything Paris does has a purpose.

  46. MuseAdmirer

    I can’t help it — Paris gets my juices flowing, sometimes even splurting.

  47. Rose

    I LOVE KIMMIE Paris is a Whore, and she needs to go away, The Kardashians actually make their own money instead of mooching off mom and dad

  48. Tiffane

    Oh my God… What is the beef that you have with the Kardashians… I love them.. They are a real family who are making money sowing people how they live and I think all the negativity is just people hating on them because they are a beautiful family that really connect with people becuase they are a real family with real family issues… Quit hating and get out there and get money..

  49. parisfan

    Great long toes which unfortunately she doesn’t show off much!! Here’s the ultimate gallery of Paris Hiltons’s feet:

    http://www.celebsfeetpics.com/paris-hilton-feet

  50. Cristina

    im only 15 and i absoluetly love kim ! shes gorgeus and shes not anerexic like paris. shes way more real. she doesnt have that nast bleached hair ! its not nice that u guys trash her like that ! ur all jealouse !

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