Paris Hilton wants her own Disney movie

December 4th, 2008 // 65 Comments

Paris Hilton wants to play a live-action version of Tinkerbell, and Disney is actually considering letting the tower of wonk play the beloved role of Peter Pan’s fairy sidekick, according to Page Six:

A source tells us the celebutard is lobbying for the title role in Disney’s live-action version of “Tinkerbell,” in which the pixie finally gets a chance at life as a real girl. “Paris has worked on her acting chops lately and showed some comedy prowess in her YouTube spoof of running for president,” our insider said. “Disney suits saw it and think she may be developing some comedic-actress potential.”

WALT DISNEY: Damn, I can’t believe that freezing shit worked. Thanks for thawing me out.
EXEC: Our pleasure, sir. We’d like you to meet the new face of Tinkerbell. This is Paris Hilton.
PARIS: Hello! Mickey Mouse is hot.
WALT: Why does this young woman smell of ham and vinegar?
PARIS: My daddy’s a billionaire which allowed me to live a promiscuous lifestyle full of unprotected sex and undeserved celebrity status. Tee hee!
WALT: *blinks* I want to go back. Put me back!
EXEC: Sir, that’s the refrigerator.
WALT: How do you set this thing to 3000 AD? Is it the broccoli?

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Jrz

    Speaking of Bjork…..imagine if she and Yoko Ono teamed up and made an album?

  2. Tinkerbelle’s a ho? How much does she charge? Does she take personal checks?

  3. Jrz

    So, Eliot, have you seen my new cote? I mean, coat?

  4. Jrz

    Eliot, I’m surprised you have time to goof off on the Superficial……I just read this on CNN…..
    Former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer started a new job this week, debuting as online magazine Slate’s newest columnist

  5. souris

    > “Paris has worked on her acting chops lately and showed some comedy
    > prowess in her YouTube spoof of running for president,” our insider said.

    “Working on her acting chops”? Is THAT what the kids are calling it these days?

    Photo #4: Way to work the wonk, baby! Way to WORK the WONK! God, if she ever opens up a school teaching that, let me sign up first. I just know I’ll drive ALL the boys crazy with it. Even if they all end up chasing me off with industrial-size cans of Lysol, after all her L’Eau de Ham and Vinegar rubs off on me.

    … Though, and I HATE to admit this, I actually really like the dress.

  6. Jrz, I can only goof off when security escorts the newly laid off out the door.

    Is it a pee cote?

  7. Jrz

    Eliot, if you email me then I’ll show you the new cote I’m talking about.

  8. Have one of your cohorts send a message to Tonto… I’m sure he’ll want to wear your new z cote.

  9. JRz

    yes….to Tonto..I shall do that. the Fun Factory took my old cote away from me.

  10. Truth

    IF DISNEY HIRES PARIS HILTON THEN THEY WOULD BE HIRING SOMEONE WHO IS ABOUT TO FACE TWENTY TO THIRTY YEARS IN PRISON FOR NUMEROUS, NUMEROUS, NUMEROUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITED AGAINST BRITNEY SPEARS AND A 32 YEAR OLD MAN FROM ALRINGTON, TEXAS NAMED BRANDON M. WITTE. THIS IS THE LATEST MYSPACE SCANDAL.

  11. Truth

    IF DISNEY HIRES PARIS HILTON THEN THEY WOULD BE HIRING SOMEONE WHO IS ABOUT TO FACE TWENTY TO THIRTY YEARS IN PRISON FOR NUMEROUS, NUMEROUS, NUMEROUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITED AGAINST BRITNEY SPEARS AND A 32 YEAR OLD MAN FROM ALRINGTON, TEXAS NAMED BRANDON M. WITTE. THIS IS THE LATEST MYSPACE SCANDAL.

  12. Reality

    READ ALL COMMENTS ON PARIS HILTON’S ASKMEN.COM SITE.

  13. Glue

    Not a chance.
    Tinkerbell is a bubble of personality, where as Parish Hilton is a bubble of nothingness. It will never work.

  14. How about an original? The modern family classic, “The Happy Little Herpe”.

  15. anonymus

    Quiet, calm, quiet ….. Never hired to play Tinkerbell!. Paris Hilton lives in her dream world and believing that is an actress, who are we to contradict her? Let things well, not contracted any serious movie, unless you want to be porn actress who is the only thing that works and I have said to me that even that.

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