Paris Hilton wants her own Disney movie

December 4th, 2008 // 64 Comments

Paris Hilton wants to play a live-action version of Tinkerbell, and Disney is actually considering letting the tower of wonk play the beloved role of Peter Pan’s fairy sidekick, according to Page Six:

A source tells us the celebutard is lobbying for the title role in Disney’s live-action version of “Tinkerbell,” in which the pixie finally gets a chance at life as a real girl. “Paris has worked on her acting chops lately and showed some comedy prowess in her YouTube spoof of running for president,” our insider said. “Disney suits saw it and think she may be developing some comedic-actress potential.”

WALT DISNEY: Damn, I can’t believe that freezing shit worked. Thanks for thawing me out.
EXEC: Our pleasure, sir. We’d like you to meet the new face of Tinkerbell. This is Paris Hilton.
PARIS: Hello! Mickey Mouse is hot.
WALT: Why does this young woman smell of ham and vinegar?
PARIS: My daddy’s a billionaire which allowed me to live a promiscuous lifestyle full of unprotected sex and undeserved celebrity status. Tee hee!
WALT: *blinks* I want to go back. Put me back!
EXEC: Sir, that’s the refrigerator.
WALT: How do you set this thing to 3000 AD? Is it the broccoli?

Photos: Splash News
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Comments (64)

  1. sadf | December 4, 2008 at 11:06 am

    abjahbbahha

    Reply
  2. Me | December 4, 2008 at 11:06 am

    Anyone posting after Me sucks on Benji Maddens penis

    Reply
  3. timmy the dying boy | December 4, 2008 at 11:09 am

    third!

    Reply
  4. wiggle bear | December 4, 2008 at 11:11 am

    wiggle bear, wiggle bear, wiggle bear

    exempt ooo didn’t see that exempt pass coming did ya?

    Paris would b a pretty good Tinkerbell

    wiggle bear, wiggle bear, wiggle bear

    Reply
  5. Camel | December 4, 2008 at 11:18 am

    That’s just what our children need. A slutty whore Tinkerbell. Though I guess… that does have a ring to it.

    Mmmmm… Benji Madden your penis is so small and thin….

    Reply
  6. Camel | December 4, 2008 at 11:19 am

    That’s just what our children need. A slutty whore Tinkerbell. Though I guess… that does have a ring to it.

    Mmmmm… Benji Madden your penis is so small and thin…. NOM NOM NOM.

    Reply
  7. havoc | December 4, 2008 at 11:22 am

    Ham and vinegar !!!!!

    LMFAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    .

    Reply
  8. Camel | December 4, 2008 at 11:23 am

    FAIL

    Reply
  9. drewski2u | December 4, 2008 at 11:29 am

    What happened to puss-pussy’s big plans to move across the pond? I thought we were somewhat rid of this biatch….

    Reply
  10. toolboy | December 4, 2008 at 11:30 am

    That girl is fucking goofy. Literally.

    Reply
  11. ummm...yeah | December 4, 2008 at 11:34 am

    Yet another stupid post about what?…NOTHING!
    Fish, I’m gonna get you fired!
    Anyway, I didn’t know Disney was branching out into porn.
    #2 suck alot of cock, do ya?

    Reply
  12. Balls McCoy | December 4, 2008 at 11:37 am

    Nice hair, what you come to this event in, an I-roc Z?

    Reply
  13. Ted from LA's piece of ass | December 4, 2008 at 11:37 am

    ~10 that was Ted from LA’s joke about three weeks ago

    Reply
  14. QQQQ | December 4, 2008 at 11:38 am

    It works actually. Think about it, in Hook, tinkerbell was a whore. That tiny skirt, flirting with Peter and she kept trying to get all up on his jock even though she knew that he was married. I think that it won’t even be acting for Paris, she all ready wears skanky skirts and is a whore. I’d call it a perfect type cast…

    Reply
  15. jrz | December 4, 2008 at 11:40 am

    Tinkerbelle? More like Skankerbelle
    nyuk nyuk

    Reply
  16. Monkey's Bone | December 4, 2008 at 11:49 am

    The “Poodle” look certainly does fit her

    Reply
  17. Jenna | December 4, 2008 at 11:59 am

    This is stupid. How can they get mad at Vanessa Hudgens and Jamie Lynn Spears and want to get rid of them off of disney shows and yet they want to HIRE a well known porno-making slut to play a precious fairy.
    Tink was a real person once, Julia Roberts! Although that wasn’t Disney, why the heck ruin it with someone like Paris. Not to mention Tinkerbell doesn’t have wonky eyes.

    Choose someone more like Hayden Panettiere, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson.
    Anyone would make a better Tinkerbell! Dye Liv Tyler’s hair blonde and she’d fit it better than paris ever could.

    I have always loved Tinkerbell growing up and even now I’ll buy a couple cute items (ie. Car mats!) but I won’t buy anything else if they make Paris Tinkerbell!!!

    Reply
  18. Rod | December 4, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    I don’t buy it.

    Didn’t Disney drop Brittany Murphy from this/a Tinkerbell project because her image wasn’t wholesome enough? I doubt they’d let Sextape McCrotchshot VOICE Tinkerbell, let alone be her face in a live-action film.

    Reply
  19. Rough Daddy | December 4, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    grow up jenna!

    Reply
  20. Christina | December 4, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    This I would have to watch, maybe borrow someone elses DVD. Not purchase.

    Reply
  21. Max Planck | December 4, 2008 at 12:33 pm

    Lady and the Tramp maybe better.

    Reply
  22. Goblinkatie | December 4, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    1980′s Middle School Dance is *not* a good look for anyone, including her.

    Reply
  23. supersex | December 4, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    she can’t sing
    she can’t act

    she should stick to porn (monstercock.com)

    stupid ass bitch

    Reply
  24. Chauncey Gardner | December 4, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    Well, if Vanessa Hudgens and Jamie Lynn Spears can do the shit they did and keep their gigs, there’s no reason why this cocksucker couldn’t have a shingle at the Mouse House.

    Reply
  25. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | December 4, 2008 at 1:16 pm

    If it was Kim Kardashian, she’d play Tinklebell…

    Thank you!!! Thank you!!! I’ll be here all week!!!

    Reply
  26. Mr. Jones | December 4, 2008 at 1:29 pm

    I didn’t know that Tinkerbell could play tennis without a raquet, and go scuba-diving without flippers.

    Reply
  27. jrz | December 4, 2008 at 1:32 pm

    Hmmm…….#25…..reminds me of someone I know……..hmm……..someone from New York City…….

    Reply
  28. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | December 4, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    #27 – Well I was the governor of NY State once…

    Reply
  29. whatever, yo | December 4, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE WANT TO KILL EVERY GOOD THING???!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  30. Alex | December 4, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    Isn’t she a little old to play Tinkerbell? If Tinkerbell ever got the chance to become a real girl I doubt she’d want to be 26 years old…or Paris Hilton.

    Reply
  31. dew | December 4, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    You put in words what I’ve been suffering mentally every time I see a pic of Paris:

    Ham and vinegar smell!

    Reply
  32. Sailingmaster | December 4, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    Sorry, but letting Skank Hilton play Tinkerbell would be like getting Scott Peterson out of prison so he could play the dad in a remake of either Growing Pains or Family Ties.

    Reply
  33. Sailingmaster | December 4, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    Sorry, but letting Skank Hilton play Tinkerbell would be like getting Scott Peterson out of prison so he could play the dad in a remake of either Growing Pains or Family Ties.

    Reply
  34. sunshine | December 4, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    Her stylist called in sick and the only other available was the one from the religious channel, who do up all the Tele-Evangelist big-hair ladies. Hence the curls, bangs and black tights.

    Reply
  35. jrz | December 4, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    #28…..I was actually thinking of someone more in the…..IT field…..but follows politics vehemently. And ballet…..someone who is really into ballet…..

    Reply
  36. Cartman | December 4, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    I want a world without Paris Hilton in it. She wants to play Tinkerbell for Disney.

    We all want things we can’t have.

    Reply
  37. toolboy | December 4, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    #13
    First, I hold Ted from LA in the highest regard, he is a funny MF’r and I did not see his post. There are many forms of the original Mickey’s divorce joke though. It’s kind of an old joke, but it applies.

    Reply
  38. friendlyfires | December 4, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    Paris Hilton is more like Stinkerhell than Tinkerbell

    I kill me

    Damn, I’m still alive … move over Walt, you’ve gotta’ set it to 4000AD, by that time she’ll either be forgotten or be competing with with you and Elvis as the new Jesus. It’s worth a shot.

    Reply
  39. Janet | December 4, 2008 at 6:28 pm

    She would actually look so pretty if she got that stupid pointy tip cut off the top of her nose. Prob from a botched nose job. It needs to go.

    Reply
  40. Jackson'shole | December 4, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    WHY does everyone keep giving this hideous piece of trash jobs? Are her blowjobs THAT good? I don’t get it at all. I just want her to die.

    Reply
  41. lindary | December 4, 2008 at 9:44 pm

    She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now? ?????????????????

    Reply
  42. Juniper | December 4, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    Tinkerbell’s a bitch anyways. Have you ever read Peter Pan? Of course not. Well Tinkerbell tries to get people killed (Wendy). She’s a ho.

    Reply
  43. patricia | December 4, 2008 at 9:48 pm

    i thought she was moving to england?! damn if they keep giving her work we’ll never get rid of her.

    Reply
  44. wolf5150 | December 4, 2008 at 11:23 pm

    While my own sick masturbatory fantasy would be well served by seeing a herpes-ridden, cock-sucking, whore like Paris dressed up as Tinkerbell
    jerking off a cock that just slipped out of her mouth onto her neck, leaving a sizeable pearl necklace in its wake, I am holding out hope for Disney and casting my vote for Dakota Fanning as your new Tinkerbell.

    Reply
  45. PostmortemG | December 5, 2008 at 12:26 am

    If Disney *MUST* hire a girl associated with porn as Tinkerbell, it should be Alexa B. She looks like Tinkerbell. God, i hate Disney.

    Reply
  46. gerard Vandenberg | December 5, 2008 at 7:50 am

    ####SHE’S LOSING IT AGAIN, folks!!####

    Reply
  47. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | December 5, 2008 at 8:46 am

    #35 – I occassionally hang out in the administrative offices of big city hospitals, stalk the recently promoted, and offers gimlets to the office hotties. Just not since my political downfall…

    Reply
  48. Jrz | December 5, 2008 at 9:48 am

    #47, Eliot, let me take this opportunity to say how much I love you, brother. I shall show you how much i love you through interpretive dance…..set to “Lick a Shot” by Cypress Hill…..

    Reply
  49. Jrz | December 5, 2008 at 9:52 am

    Oh, and Juniper…..#42—TOTALLY!!! Tinkerbelle was one mean little bitch, with wings. She totally had the Lost Boys shoot Wendy down with slingshots. And those mermaids weren’t very nice either.

    Reply
  50. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | December 5, 2008 at 9:53 am

    #48 – I was hoping for Bjork, but that’ll do too. =)

    Reply

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