Paris Hilton wants her own Disney movie

December 4th, 2008 // 65 Comments

Paris Hilton wants to play a live-action version of Tinkerbell, and Disney is actually considering letting the tower of wonk play the beloved role of Peter Pan’s fairy sidekick, according to Page Six:

A source tells us the celebutard is lobbying for the title role in Disney’s live-action version of “Tinkerbell,” in which the pixie finally gets a chance at life as a real girl. “Paris has worked on her acting chops lately and showed some comedy prowess in her YouTube spoof of running for president,” our insider said. “Disney suits saw it and think she may be developing some comedic-actress potential.”

WALT DISNEY: Damn, I can’t believe that freezing shit worked. Thanks for thawing me out.
EXEC: Our pleasure, sir. We’d like you to meet the new face of Tinkerbell. This is Paris Hilton.
PARIS: Hello! Mickey Mouse is hot.
WALT: Why does this young woman smell of ham and vinegar?
PARIS: My daddy’s a billionaire which allowed me to live a promiscuous lifestyle full of unprotected sex and undeserved celebrity status. Tee hee!
WALT: *blinks* I want to go back. Put me back!
EXEC: Sir, that’s the refrigerator.
WALT: How do you set this thing to 3000 AD? Is it the broccoli?

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. sadf

    abjahbbahha

  2. Me

    Anyone posting after Me sucks on Benji Maddens penis

  3. timmy the dying boy

    third!

  4. wiggle bear

    wiggle bear, wiggle bear, wiggle bear

    exempt ooo didn’t see that exempt pass coming did ya?

    Paris would b a pretty good Tinkerbell

    wiggle bear, wiggle bear, wiggle bear

  5. Camel

    That’s just what our children need. A slutty whore Tinkerbell. Though I guess… that does have a ring to it.

    Mmmmm… Benji Madden your penis is so small and thin….

  6. Camel

    That’s just what our children need. A slutty whore Tinkerbell. Though I guess… that does have a ring to it.

    Mmmmm… Benji Madden your penis is so small and thin…. NOM NOM NOM.

  7. havoc

    Ham and vinegar !!!!!

    LMFAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    .

  8. Camel

    FAIL

  9. drewski2u

    What happened to puss-pussy’s big plans to move across the pond? I thought we were somewhat rid of this biatch….

  10. toolboy

    That girl is fucking goofy. Literally.

  11. ummm...yeah

    Yet another stupid post about what?…NOTHING!
    Fish, I’m gonna get you fired!
    Anyway, I didn’t know Disney was branching out into porn.
    #2 suck alot of cock, do ya?

  12. Balls McCoy

    Nice hair, what you come to this event in, an I-roc Z?

  13. Ted from LA's piece of ass

    ~10 that was Ted from LA’s joke about three weeks ago

  14. QQQQ

    It works actually. Think about it, in Hook, tinkerbell was a whore. That tiny skirt, flirting with Peter and she kept trying to get all up on his jock even though she knew that he was married. I think that it won’t even be acting for Paris, she all ready wears skanky skirts and is a whore. I’d call it a perfect type cast…

  15. jrz

    Tinkerbelle? More like Skankerbelle
    nyuk nyuk

  16. Monkey's Bone

    The “Poodle” look certainly does fit her

  17. Jenna

    This is stupid. How can they get mad at Vanessa Hudgens and Jamie Lynn Spears and want to get rid of them off of disney shows and yet they want to HIRE a well known porno-making slut to play a precious fairy.
    Tink was a real person once, Julia Roberts! Although that wasn’t Disney, why the heck ruin it with someone like Paris. Not to mention Tinkerbell doesn’t have wonky eyes.

    Choose someone more like Hayden Panettiere, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson.
    Anyone would make a better Tinkerbell! Dye Liv Tyler’s hair blonde and she’d fit it better than paris ever could.

    I have always loved Tinkerbell growing up and even now I’ll buy a couple cute items (ie. Car mats!) but I won’t buy anything else if they make Paris Tinkerbell!!!

  18. Rod

    I don’t buy it.

    Didn’t Disney drop Brittany Murphy from this/a Tinkerbell project because her image wasn’t wholesome enough? I doubt they’d let Sextape McCrotchshot VOICE Tinkerbell, let alone be her face in a live-action film.

  19. Christina

    This I would have to watch, maybe borrow someone elses DVD. Not purchase.

  20. Max Planck

    Lady and the Tramp maybe better.

  21. Goblinkatie

    1980′s Middle School Dance is *not* a good look for anyone, including her.

  22. supersex

    she can’t sing
    she can’t act

    she should stick to porn (monstercock.com)

    stupid ass bitch

  23. Chauncey Gardner

    Well, if Vanessa Hudgens and Jamie Lynn Spears can do the shit they did and keep their gigs, there’s no reason why this cocksucker couldn’t have a shingle at the Mouse House.

  24. If it was Kim Kardashian, she’d play Tinklebell…

    Thank you!!! Thank you!!! I’ll be here all week!!!

  25. Mr. Jones

    I didn’t know that Tinkerbell could play tennis without a raquet, and go scuba-diving without flippers.

  26. jrz

    Hmmm…….#25…..reminds me of someone I know……..hmm……..someone from New York City…….

  27. #27 – Well I was the governor of NY State once…

  28. whatever, yo

    WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE WANT TO KILL EVERY GOOD THING???!!!!!!!!

  29. Alex

    Isn’t she a little old to play Tinkerbell? If Tinkerbell ever got the chance to become a real girl I doubt she’d want to be 26 years old…or Paris Hilton.

  30. dew

    You put in words what I’ve been suffering mentally every time I see a pic of Paris:

    Ham and vinegar smell!

  31. Sailingmaster

    Sorry, but letting Skank Hilton play Tinkerbell would be like getting Scott Peterson out of prison so he could play the dad in a remake of either Growing Pains or Family Ties.

  32. Sailingmaster

    Sorry, but letting Skank Hilton play Tinkerbell would be like getting Scott Peterson out of prison so he could play the dad in a remake of either Growing Pains or Family Ties.

  33. sunshine

    Her stylist called in sick and the only other available was the one from the religious channel, who do up all the Tele-Evangelist big-hair ladies. Hence the curls, bangs and black tights.

  34. jrz

    #28…..I was actually thinking of someone more in the…..IT field…..but follows politics vehemently. And ballet…..someone who is really into ballet…..

  35. Cartman

    I want a world without Paris Hilton in it. She wants to play Tinkerbell for Disney.

    We all want things we can’t have.

  36. toolboy

    #13
    First, I hold Ted from LA in the highest regard, he is a funny MF’r and I did not see his post. There are many forms of the original Mickey’s divorce joke though. It’s kind of an old joke, but it applies.

  37. friendlyfires

    Paris Hilton is more like Stinkerhell than Tinkerbell

    I kill me

    Damn, I’m still alive … move over Walt, you’ve gotta’ set it to 4000AD, by that time she’ll either be forgotten or be competing with with you and Elvis as the new Jesus. It’s worth a shot.

  38. Janet

    She would actually look so pretty if she got that stupid pointy tip cut off the top of her nose. Prob from a botched nose job. It needs to go.

  39. Jackson'shole

    WHY does everyone keep giving this hideous piece of trash jobs? Are her blowjobs THAT good? I don’t get it at all. I just want her to die.

  40. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now? ?????????????????

  41. Juniper

    Tinkerbell’s a bitch anyways. Have you ever read Peter Pan? Of course not. Well Tinkerbell tries to get people killed (Wendy). She’s a ho.

  42. patricia

    i thought she was moving to england?! damn if they keep giving her work we’ll never get rid of her.

  43. wolf5150

    While my own sick masturbatory fantasy would be well served by seeing a herpes-ridden, cock-sucking, whore like Paris dressed up as Tinkerbell
    jerking off a cock that just slipped out of her mouth onto her neck, leaving a sizeable pearl necklace in its wake, I am holding out hope for Disney and casting my vote for Dakota Fanning as your new Tinkerbell.

  44. PostmortemG

    If Disney *MUST* hire a girl associated with porn as Tinkerbell, it should be Alexa B. She looks like Tinkerbell. God, i hate Disney.

  45. ####SHE’S LOSING IT AGAIN, folks!!####

  46. #35 – I occassionally hang out in the administrative offices of big city hospitals, stalk the recently promoted, and offers gimlets to the office hotties. Just not since my political downfall…

  47. Jrz

    #47, Eliot, let me take this opportunity to say how much I love you, brother. I shall show you how much i love you through interpretive dance…..set to “Lick a Shot” by Cypress Hill…..

  48. Jrz

    Oh, and Juniper…..#42—TOTALLY!!! Tinkerbelle was one mean little bitch, with wings. She totally had the Lost Boys shoot Wendy down with slingshots. And those mermaids weren’t very nice either.

  49. #48 – I was hoping for Bjork, but that’ll do too. =)

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